Learning To Breathe
by RiverCity
Summary: COMPLETE One woman's escape from a world of chaos to an island halway around the world. How does one rebuild a life free of a past that did nothing more than build a foundation of fear and mistrust. Alexis, Kristina, and Cameron
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:  The majority of the characters are not mine.  They are the sole property of ABC and General Hospital and are used in this story for entertainment value alone.  I can only claim TK, Gale and Kale as my own creations.  The story begins slow because I am attempting to increase my use of a more descriptive vocabulary.  Please bear with me… the story does get quite interesting as it proceeds. J  Warning: If you are sympathetic to the character of Carly… the first chapter is not for you. 

  **_Learning To Breathe_**

It was a breathtaking sight resembling mounds of cotton or massive drifts of snow; a panoramic gift to curious sightseers seen through a small oval window. Mischievous participants suddenly found themselves dreaming of reaching out with curious fingers to impishly disturb the solitude of a quiet and peaceful existence.   The only darkness to be found throughout the sweeping skyscape were the unavoidable shadows, made by clouds overlapping each other as the sun worked diligently to prove its purpose of keeping the night at bay.  Such gracious clouds, moving companionably against one another; forever shifting, entwining themselves to create new shapes… new silhouettes... a flagrant boast of an unfettered independence.  It was eerily reminiscent of a pleasant uninhibited dance… one that could teach those that walked below a lesson in harmony, of being at peace with oneself, of living tranquilly amongst one another.  A dance that lonely burdened souls tried in vain to mimic with the rise of each new sun.

As the small aircraft began its slow descent through the clouds, they parted with generosity to graciously make room for the sudden disruptive presence of the small craft.   Untainted white pom-poms of fluff gradually began to lose their purity until finally becoming a solid wall of silver and gray as the sun lost its battle to the heaviness of rain filled masses that threatened to release their load at a moments notice.  The quiet serenity of golden warmth and quiet breezes reluctantly delivered itself over to the darker forces of nature that forever seemed intent on endangering the tenuous, hard won peace that existed below. 

The plane taxied slowly toward the terminal and just as it came to an abrupt halt the rain won its freedom and poured from the sky as gusts of wind drove it relentlessly in an almost horizontal path, making the use of umbrellas a waste of time and effort.  It was a small airport that was usually found closed due to a lack of business. And being one of the smaller less occupied flights to the small island; it was not given a high enough priority to allow its occupants the comfort of the one gate that afforded tourists and the more prominent residents of the island an enclosed exit.  Instead they would have to brave the elements and fight to stay somewhat dry until they reached the tattered and worn canopy that was hastily erected for just such occasions in front of the secondary entrance to the terminal.  Its mere existence begged for an explanation of its worth in the midst of a storm that could not be contained much less expected to follow any rules of travel etiquette that would allow weary travelers to arrive as calm and dry as when their journey began.

A handful of exhausted vacationers and less financially endowed residents began to embark at an exaggerated pace in hopes of making it to the terminal with as little damage as possible.  Most of the occupants were in fact residents returning from vacation spots chosen specifically for their lack of beaches or lakes.  One after another fled the plane until it appeared that everyone had finally exited.  Just as the flight attendant prepared to close the door she drew back as one final patron appeared.

One solitary woman remained.  Standing in the doorway she looked up toward the rain and thought how appropriately the weather welcomed her self-imposed exile to this island.  At approximately 5'5" she stood regal… proud and reserved. Her gaze never once strayed toward the flight attendant nor any of the other patrons who were already huddling under the temporary tent waiting their turn to enter the terminal.  No one and nothing held her interest except the treasure she held tightly to her breast under the tunic that kept the wind and rain at bay. Looking down to make sure her steps were true she began a slow descent down toward solid ground uncaring that her sneaker-clad feet were becoming soaked.  It was just rain.  Rain was good.  Its timeless task to wash away the debris of days filled with dust, smog… the ugly smell of commerce… a task incomplete until it refreshed and rejuvenated nature.  Allowing the rain to wash away tears brought to the surface by unwanted memories was an additional benefit for a broken-hearted, wounded soul who was admittedly escaping a life filled with pain, loss and heartache.  

Alexis Davis did the only remaining thing she could think of to put time and space between herself and all of the loneliness, grief and disillusionment that the last few years had forced her to endure. Years given to Port Charles, New York in an attempt to aid her family and perhaps build a life for herself.  Those years now left her reeling from all that was gained and lost there; losses that cut so deeply into a soul that for a lifetime had secretly begged to be released from a prison of loneliness… losses that kept her ever mindful of what her inability to remain detached cost her.  Nothing had been gained from her time in Port Charles… nothing except for this small one gift… this one blessing that she came away with.  And in the light of day… when the darkness of night faded and the horrors of nightmares lost their ability to paralyze… when terror filled dreams could no longer rip the breath from her lungs; she could center herself on this one gift… this one treasure that made it all worthwhile.  Tightening her arms around the bundle she held close to her breast she looked down to make sure the child was still covered and safe from the rain her mother welcomed.  Little Kristina, safe and warm within the comfort of arms that would move heaven and earth to keep her safe slept peacefully unaware of the gloom that not only filled the sky but filled her mother's heart as well.  One last step… one last connection to sever… the small plane was her last physical connection to a world she welcomed leaving behind.  She was arriving on this little island just as she arrived at Port Charles just a few short years ago… reserved, withdrawn and except for the child she carried… alone.

The trip to this small obscure island in the Caribbean proved to be arduous and turbulent.  Bigger more prominent airlines could have handled the trip with much less trouble, but when one was trying to maintain a certain anonymity; leaning toward the unexpected… the unusual was always best.  And this little island, virtually unknown, would provide one war weary veteran a chance to start over.  A chance to finally welcome a little peace into a life that was filled with turmoil and loss; a chance to provide a safe loving existence for a child that entered the world under frightening circumstances.

Mother and child were striking out alone to create a new life free of casual, well-meaning, domineering friends. She was finally free of a man that had taken her heart and torn it from its resting place only to leave it abandoned as he ran after that which would one day destroy him. Alexis laughed cynically as she envisioned the sight of a dog chasing after his own tail; it being such a perfect analogy of the relationship between Sonny Corinthos and Carly Benson Quartermaine Corinthos etc. etc.  She was now free from another who had done his best to take from her the only remaining hope left to her, along with the cruel and spiteful demon he had attached himself to.  And regretfully… free of the insistent uncontrollable pull of a man who seemed content to stand by and wait for life to happen.  Or at best, in her opinion, quite adept at explaining away the problems of life rather than dealing with them.  Cameron.  She wondered briefly what he was doing at that moment and whether or not he was aware of the fact that she was no longer a resident of Port Charles.  Would he miss her as much as she already missed him?   

Shaking herself free from thoughts of what she left behind, Alexis finally entered the terminal and stopped to uncover Kristina just enough to allow a little fresh air to reach her daughter and quickly recognized that the musty smell of the airport would not benefit her little girl in the least.   Lifting her eyes from the peaceful beauty of her daughter's face she looked around the small airport for a taxi stand or a car rental agency.  She was becoming anxious to finally settle her daughter for the night without the jostling of travel that constantly disturbed her patient little angel.  When she found both unavailable, she headed in the direction of the small information desk next to the baggage claim area.  Surely they would have someone around to at least direct tourists.

"Excuse me, but could I bother you for a bit of information?"

Sighing at the less than enthusiastic attitude from the girl behind the desk, Alexis waited for her to finish applying the most horrendous shade of nail color to her last nail then tried again.

"If I could interrupt you for a moment, please.  I'm new to the island and just need a little information… "

"I heard you the first time lady… I'm thinking."

Without realizing it, Alexis' thought became more as she voiced it with all of the sarcasm it warranted as the weariness of travel finally caught up to her freeing her from the ability to remain tactful at all cost.

"Your name wouldn't happen to be 'Carly', would it?'

Seeing the confusion cross the girls face, Alexis subtly nodded once thinking, 'evidently it's true that if you look hard enough and long enough you'll eventually come across a replica of yourself'.  Forcing herself to relax Alexis shook her head in unbelief.  Evidently the fates weren't finished with her yet. Breathing deeply she addressed the girl again.

"You're thinking?  Would that not warrant my first asking a question?"

"I thought you did."

It was official.  No doubt about it.  Carly had a twin and Alexis groaned inwardly at the irony of having traveled so far only to come face to face yet again with such a waste of brainpower.  Shifting Kristina to a more comfortable position, Alexis tried again.

"Just a couple of questions… One… is there a hotel near by?"

"Yeah, we got one of those."

"Could I further bother you with which direction and how far it might be from here?"

"Uhmmm… it's only a couple of blocks that way… or is it the other way… hang on a minute… "

Alexis used her last remaining shred of patience. "No, that's fine.  I'll find it.  Don't bother yourself… " finishing her thought under her breath as she walked away, "wouldn't want you to hurt yourself by straining that pea brain too much."

"She's not too bright, so we try to cover for her when we can."

Alexis jumped as the sound of a rich melodic baritone voice drifted over her shoulder from behind.  She turned swiftly while taking a couple of steps backward pulling Kristina closer to her breast; her irritation at being addressed by a stranger clearly evident.

"Excuse me, but you really shouldn't walk up behind someone without first warning them of your presence; it is not only rude, but highly irritating as well as cause for concern in some cases."

"Well I just didn't want you to get away without at least having your questions answered with a little more intelligence."

Alexis drew herself up stiffly with a definitive 'hands off' demeanor and looked into eyes that reminded her of the blue green tide of her homeland just as the day began to settle into evening.  He was tall, very tall with dark hair streaked with the most attractive shade of gray Alexis could ever remember seeing before.  The enticing salt and pepper mane complimented a tan that boldly laughed in the face of anyone who believed that being blonde was essential in order to fully appreciate the gift of the sun. Denim jeans hugged slender hips underneath a white linen shirt that was only half buttoned revealing another mane of salt and pepper that any woman would relish running her fingers through.  He was quite simply the most attractive man Alexis had come across in a long while.  'Too bad I'm not in the market', Alexis thought to herself.  There wasn't a man on earth that could coax her into any kind of involvement at this point in her life.  Not with the painful remnants of past relationships still lying in tattered rags at her feet.  She wasn't about to lower her guard again.  All that she needed in the world lay quietly asleep in her arms.

"I only wanted to know if there was a hotel nearby, which way and if not too difficult how far?"

His voice, while lowered to provide a meager amount of privacy from others milling about, struck a chord deep within her.  It was a rich baritone that she could almost imagine bringing to life the finest aria ever written. "The 'Pacific Tavern' is just down the road… a couple of blocks on your left.  I'd be more than happy to drive you over there.  This storm is going to last a while I'm afraid and it's nothing you would want to brave on foot for two blocks."

Conscious of the flush she knew from experience now graced her cheeks, Alexis shifted her daughter to her shoulder as she attempted to steer her thoughts away from the physical attractiveness of the man who stood before her by spilling the first thing that popped into her head.  "That doesn't make sense.  The Pacific Ocean is off the western coast of the Americas.  We're in the Atlantic.  But the establishment is named after the Pacific Ocean… why not call it the 'Atlantic Tavern"?  Realizing he was looking down at her as though she were daft, Alexis shifted nervously and decided it was time to take her leave of his presence.  "Forgive me, it's none of my business.  Thank you for your offer of assistance, but I can handle it from here.  If you'll excuse me…"

Turning on her heel, Alexis headed for the terminal exit.  Hearing the man start to follow her, she stopped instantly causing him to run into her.  She sighed with annoyance as she attempted to shield Kristina as much as possible from the jolt and spoke with a voice deliberately chilled.

"What? I thought I was perfectly clear.  You offered information… I accepted it… thanked you for your hospitality and stated quiet clearly my ability to arrive at my destination without any further assistance.  I'm beginning to think I may have taken the wrong plane or something."

Green eyes that moments before displayed a casual indifference darkened with irritation as the man took a commanding step backward as if it were too distasteful to find himself in such a close proximity to her.

"You were very clear in your ability to take care of yourself, lady.  It's just that I know what's going on outside that door and things are going to be busy enough for me tonight without adding the additional task of rescuing a '_tourist_' from a possible mud slide or worse because she refused to consider the possible risks of a torrential downpour.  And from the looks of you, I can pretty much guarantee you've never been anywhere that your every wish could not be catered to in a matter of minutes.  Now, would you like a lift or do you really want to soil those designer jeans?"

Incensed was too mild a description to fully express what Alexis felt in that moment.  Her anger was making her ability to breathe evenly impossible.  The fact that his words held a modicum of truth did not in any way calm her fury at being treated so condescendingly by an absolute stranger.  The further realization that, for the sake of her daughter, she needed to accept his help didn't improve her already highly inflamed mental state.  Cursing the laws of etiquette and the manners that were such a prominent factor of acceptable behavior, Alexis yielded to his knowledge of the island as Kristina began to move restlessly in her arms… a clear indication of her ability even at such a tender age to feel the anxiety of her mother.

"I apologize for my lack of manners and would appreciate your offer of a lift to the hotel.  It is not my way usually to be so… discourteous.  But, it has been an extremely long and… challenging flight."

He smiled disdainfully as he answered her.  "Most tourists would check the climate of a resort before scheduling a vacation.  You just happened to land right in the middle of the monsoon season.  This is normal weather for this time of year and not such a great vacation spot for a tyke that small.  I'll just bet the kid didn't fare so well on the trip down, so I'll accept your apology even if it wasn't quite as sincere as it should have been."

The absolute audacity of the man was rendering Alexis incapable of coherent thought, not to mention speechless.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Boy when you do remember those manners, they really kick in to high gear, don't they?"

Alexis was done.  She wasn't about to open her mouth again and possibly give him another reason to open his.  It didn't take long for her to realize that she wasn't too fond of this exasperating, condescending beautifully built specimen of the male gender.  She was in fact having a problem finding anything remotely agreeable about him.  Therefore his next remark sent her over the edge.

"When in doubt… silence, right?"

"Alright, you've had your say.  And I imagine you've successfully gotten your daily quota of insults in at the expense of the less than enlightened tourist and you've also fulfilled your responsibilities as host by offering your help.  I accepted said help, but now I think it's best if I do find another way to the hotel.  So again, if you'll excuse me… "

"I see, so you're a runner?"

"Excuse me?"

'Things get a little tough and you head for the hills.  That why you've escaped to our little island in the sun?  If it is, then perhaps I could interest you in a little out of the way bay just up the road a bit.  It's official name was too difficult to remember much less pronounce, so the islanders just nicknamed it 'Runaway Bay'.  It's a beautiful spot… quiet and out of the way.  Great place to get lost."

Her emotions raw, her body weary from travel Alexis broke.  With her arms beginning to ache with the weight of her daughter and trying to calm her at the same time, the tears of anger and frustration began to slide down first one cheek then the other only serving to anger her more at her inability to remain in control of herself.

"If you are quite through torturing me with what you so obviously believe to be an engaging wit and irresistible charm, I will thank you once again for your offer of help.  But as I have no intention of spending one more moment in the company of such an ill-mannered pompous 'islander' you will please excuse me so I may find other accommodations."

Alexis turned and walked away trying her best to reign in the anger that was disturbing her daughter.

"Shhh… my little one.  Mommy's fine.  We just happened to run into a little bit of the local color… very little if you ask me.  Why don't we find somewhere to sit for a moment and I can take this tunic off and maybe we can both take a breath before braving the storm again."

Looking around she sighted a small isolated café in the corner of the terminal and headed in that direction as she continued talking to her daughter.

"We didn't arrive under the best of circumstances, but at least we're here and off that dreaded airplane.  That was pretty horrible, wasn't it sweet girl?  I thought we were going down a couple of times.  But, you knew that didn't you.  You could feel mommy's tension couldn't you?  You're my special little angel.  Well, we'll spend the night in town and then tomorrow I'll find us a real estate agent and then you and I are going to find the perfect little home for us.  How do you like that?"

Alexis jumped slightly as she felt a slight touch her on the shoulder.  Looking around she found herself staring into familiar green eyes.  Sighing with irritation she clutched Kristina to her and stood up tossing the damp tendrils of hair from her face and turned to face the rude gentleman she escaped from only moments before.

"If you'll pardon me, I need to be on my way."

Attempting to walk away, Alexis felt his hand on her arm and she stopped instantly throwing a menacing glare back at him.  Before she could open her mouth to speak he removed his hand from her arm and raised it as if signaling a truce.

"Wait a minute… please."  She stopped and looked up warily to see if the look in his eyes matched the regret in the tone of his voice.  Satisfied that it did, she waited for him to continue.

"Look… You're right.  I admit it.  My behavior has been inexcusable and I do owe you an apology.  The name's Kale Redmond.  I've been a permanent fixture around this place for as long as I can remember and it seems my own set of manners must have got lost somewhere out in that monsoon.  If you will allow me… I'd like to try and make amends for my extremely ill-mannered behavior."

Alexis could see the sincerity of his words and glancing down at her daughter, realized she needed to get her settled as soon as possible.  Without offering a hint of a smile, she nodded.

"I would appreciate a lift to the hotel if the invitation is still open."

"It is and I can have you there in a matter of minutes.  Have you been to baggage claim yet?"

At her somewhat embarrassed negative response, he eyed her curiously wondering why a tourist wouldn't first retrieve their luggage before attempting to leave the airport.

Alexis finally offered a hesitant guarded explanation.

"I was so concerned about getting my daughter settled… I forgot about our luggage."

"I see.  Not a problem.  If you'll allow me your name, I will retrieve your bags for you if you want to wait by the entrance.  It won't take a minute."

Her name… that wouldn't be so easy.  Her journey to this remote island in the Caribbean may have begun in Port Charles, but 3 cities and 3 aliases later she needed to start her time on the island with her real name rather than the last name she chose to travel under.  Mentally shrugging her shoulders at the current dilemma, she thought 'I'll probably never see him again, so what does it matter if my luggage is traveling under an assumed name'.

"It's Alice Bergen, and thank you for your assistance."

"Back in a moment."

Alexis again nodded without speaking and walked back toward the entrance.  'Kale Redmond', she thought.  Nice strong name, attached to a somewhat nice, strong man it seemed.  And true to his word moments later, he joined her carrying all four of her heavily packed suitcases.  As he drew closer, smiling briefly, she opened the door for him and then followed him to a mud covered Land Rover that was parked under the overhang. She turned at the sound of his voice that he raised just enough to still be heard above the sounds of the storm.

"There is a car seat in the back for the child, Mrs. Bergen.  Since this vehicle is most often used as a taxi by the airport, it was decided that 'all' of our visitors should be afforded an equal amount of care and service.  You might want to sit in the back as well to keep an eye on the child.  The ride could be a little bumpy considering the rain is creating a few ruts in the road."

For once Alexis appreciated the sound of his raised voice as it reached her ears.  Any suggestion that would make the rest of the day pass as easily as possible for her daughter was welcomed and for the gentleman to offer advice of any kind to that end… it was received readily.

"Thank you, Mr. Redmond.  I appreciate your consideration of my daughter's comfort."

Alexis opened the front of her tunic and shielding her daughter as much as she could against the driving wind gently placed her in the car seat strapping her in while speaking soothing words to her.

"We're almost done, my little girl.  Our trip for today is almost over.  You've been so good today… putting up with your mother.  But I promise, once we get to the hotell we are both going to sit back in a tub of warm water and let all the horribleness of the day just melt away.  How do you like that idea?"

Crawling in beside her, Alexis fastened her own seat belt and closed the door.  Reaching over to take her daughters hand in her own she tapped her foot impatiently turning to look over her shoulder to find out what was delaying her escort.  She groaned audibly as she saw the 'information girl' running out of the airport toward her escort screaming her head off.  Watching helplessly her head dropped to her chest as she finally realized that her trip was about to reach an all time low. 

"Kristina, your mommy is about to get an impromptu lesson in the art of patience.  It looks like 'Carly Jr.' is going to be joining us.  I sure am glad you are still too young to understand certain words if I fail the test."

Watching with barely concealed irritation, Alexis breathed deeply as the front seat was suddenly filled with a rush of wind that could barely be heard over the screeching of its newest member.

"Hurry, Kale.  The wind is blowing my hair all over the place and my nails aren't quite dry yet so you're going to have to buckle my seatbelt for me.  Oh… hello.  What a pretty baby.  My name is Caroline, what's yours?"

Alexis drew another deep breath turning toward Kristina and mumbling, "I must have a sign on my forehead or something.  All idiots, welcome.'

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing.  I was just talking to my daughter… oh look.  Mr. Redmond is here and we can finally be on our way.  Aren't we just the luckiest to have such a kind benefactor?"

Words heavily laced with sarcasm and thinly veiled irritation were followed by an irritating syrupy whine that grated on her nerves much like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"A 'bene' what?  Kale's just a good guy who likes to help people."

Alexis shook her head in unbelief.  Her sarcasm was totally lost on the girl. 'Can this day get any worse?'  A small cry from the seat next to her caught her full attention.  She could tell Kristina was almost done with being patient.  Leaning toward her, she began to talk to her as Kale finally joined them, first settling the blonde tornado and then finally starting the car.

"Just a little while longer, baby girl.  I know you're tired and hungry, but we'll be at the hotel soon.  Please hang on for just a few more minutes."

As the Rover left the protective eave of the airport it began to rock back and forth with the force of the wind and the sound of the rain against the vehicle windows sounded like hail.  Kristina began to whimper.  Alexis knew her daughter was becoming frightened and wondered what she could do to still her own fear enough to comfort her.  The problem was solved as the sound of an old familiar lullaby began to fill the confines of the vehicle.  Alexis felt her daughter begin to relax and her cries gradually subsided.  Her eyes met Kale's in the rear view mirror…

"Thank you."

He nodded once and continued to sing to her daughter.  Within minutes the Rover made a final turn into the parking lot of the tavern and Alexis breathed a sigh of relief.  She jumped slightly as Kale suddenly turned to look back at her.

"Why don't you just stay here for a second and let me go in and get you a key.  I'll tell Charlie you'll sign in first thing in the morning.  That way all you have to do is just get the kid settled for the night."

Alexis visibly relaxed and smiled the first real smile of the day and couldn't resist teasing him.

"Boy when you do remember those manners, they really kick in to high gear, don't they?"

A full-throated laugh met her ears and vibrated throughout the cabin of the car.

"Ok, Ok.  You got one on me.  And that smile of yours was well worth it.  Stay put and I'll be right back."

"What about me, Kale?  I want to go home.  Hurry up and let's get going.  _Pleeeaase_."

Alexis barely caught the frustrated grunt from Kale before he exited the vehicle leaving her with the whining hyena.

Ten minutes later, Alexis was standing in the middle of her hotel room holding her daughter and relishing the fact that it was over.  A journey that began in the bushes of the Quartermaine estate two days ago was finally over.  She and Kristina were finally together and nothing or no one would ever separate them again.  Tomorrow Alexis would begin putting together a whole new life for herself and her daughter.  There was only one person who knew where she was and her secret was safe with her brother, Stephan.


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

Chapter 2

Morning arrived much too soon for Alexis, but the cries of her daughter woke her from an exhausted sleep. Sitting up she stretched and looked down at Kristina beside her. Placing her hand on the child's back she patted her back a few times before leaning down to whisper to her.

"Good morning, sunshine. I'll bet you're hungry. Well, lucky for you this room has a microwave in it. We'd really be in trouble if it didn't. Give me just a minute and we'll get you fed, changed and washed up. We're just going to take our time and be vacationers this morning. What do you say about that?"

Her daughter cooed her response and Alexis chuckled before getting out of bed to retrieve the bag carrying the powdered milk that would soon settle her daughter's hunger pangs. She continued to talk to Kristina as she moved about the room measuring the powder into a bottle then adding the right amount of water and finally heating it just enough to get rid of its chill.

Settling back down onto the bed, she picked her daughter up and began to feed her. A small tiny hand came up to wrap around a stray finger and Alexis' heart soared. This was the first time since her daughter was born that she truly felt at peace. They were finally all alone… together. She couldn't help the tears of relief that slowly made their way down her cheeks. She had won the battle… not as she would have liked, but she refused to feel bad about the way she left Port Charles. She remembered her last words to Ned.

**__**

"I'll do what I have to… to get my daughter back!"

Ned simply sat there and stared at her until Skye appeared spewing her malicious venom. Alexis knew in that moment that in order to be with her daughter all the rules of right and wrong would have to be tossed aside. And why not? No one was following the rules any more. So, Alexis figured it was high time for her to join the rest of them and finally do what she needed to in order to have her daughter back where she belonged. 

Leaning her head back against the headboard of the bed she let the events of the past few days play out in her mind. After leaving Ned, she went home to study her options. Taking out pen and her legal pad she began jotting down all of the options that were available to her and then the pros and cons of each option. No matter how many options there were, one fact always remained regardless of the choices she was left with; there would always be a question mark following her daughter around... either one of custody or of safety. Her daughter deserved a better life than she was left with. And Alexis was going to see to it that Kristina grew up loved and in a loving, encouraging safe atmosphere. In order for that to happen there was only one option left to her. 

She went to Wyndemere to see Stephan. They talked for an hour as Alexis argued, cajoled and finally stated emphatically that she was leaving and taking Kristina with her. Stephan was given the opportunity to either help or say good-bye with the understanding that he would probably never see them again. Alexis smiled remembering the look of frustration that settled on Stephan's face. He was just about to make his move on Ned when Alexis called telling him to wait until she talked to him. His love for her did not stop him from trying to manipulate her into a position of owing him. Dealing with Ned would have put Alexis right where he wanted her. But, after sitting down with her and listening to her relate the events of the past couple of years he knew he couldn't hold her any longer. She had been through enough and deserved a chance to build a life somewhere else. She needed to start over just as he had tried to before being called back Port Charles.

So the two of them together stole onto the Quartermaine estate before sunrise two days before and with the help of a very loving and warmhearted employee walked away with Kristina and then headed straight for the airport. Before leaving the estate, Alexis pulled Alice into the tightest hug she could muster. Letting go she reached down and placed a folded scrap of paper in the big woman's hand. 

"If you ever want to leave this place and come stay with Kristina and I, call my brother. He will help you reach me. Thank you for all that you did for us, Alice. I will be forever indebted to you for the love and care you showed my daughter."

Alice leaned over and placed a kiss on Kristina's head then stood back up with tears in her eyes.

"Don't you be surprised if you find me on your doorstep in a week or so. I don't like it here and with this little one leaving it's going to get even worse."

"Just find a pay phone somewhere and call him, he will know what to do. I would love to have you with us and I know Kristina would as well. You more than anyone in this house deserve to watch her grow up and be a part of her life."

Alexis smiled remembering how Alice looked Stephan up and down then drew herself up erect and finally addressed him.

"Don't have to think about it anymore. We'll wait a few weeks until Miss Alexis gets where she's going and things quiet down here some then you set it up for me to go take care of them."

And that was that. Kristina was going to have her very own full time nanny and Alexis would have a friend. Looking back down at her daughter, Alexis smiled.

"We're going to do just fine, my beautiful little girl. You know, I was a little worried about striking out alone again. It was different the first time because I was alone, but now I have you and you probably already know that your mother is domestically challenged. It's going to be so good to have Alice with us. So, all we have to do is get through the next couple of weeks and then Alice will be here. But, first things first. We have to find us a home and get settled then I think it would be a good idea to try and build some sort of legal practice here."

Kristina's eyes began to slowly close as Alexis talked quietly to her. They were both still suffering from their two days of travel so as Kristina drifted off, Alexis soon followed.

Mother and daughter awoke an hour later and Alexis got up full of energy and ready to get started trying to locate a home for the two of them; one that would soon be a home for Alice as well.

"Come on, angel. We have a lot to do today, but first we have to settle with the hotel manager and maybe he can help us find a real estate agency."

Alexis did her best in showering both herself and Kristina together as she refused to leave Kristina on the bed unattended. She laughed fully at the sounds of laughter and excitement coming from her daughter as the water gently pummeled them. Alexis held Kristina close rocking back and forth under the spray as she rejoiced at the feel of her daughter in her arms. Never in all the years of her life had she ever felt as completely fulfilled as a woman than she did standing in the shower that morning holding her daughter in her arms; feeling tiny arms wrap themselves around her neck pulling her closer as unrestrained laughter filled her ears. Tears of joy ran down her cheeks as Alexis closed her eyes and reveled in the pureness of the moment.

"I love you with all of my heart, Kristina. It's going to be you and me from now on. We'll conquer the world together and build ourselves a good life. You and me, baby girl; just you and me." She smiled gently before adding… "and of course Alice."


	3. Chapter 3

**__**

Chapter 3 

The real estate agent listened quietly as Alexis described what type of house and amenities she desired then asked a few questions before grinning slightly.

"I believe I have just the place for you, Miss Davis. It is up the coast a few miles, but it has the most gorgeous view of the ocean from the front of the house and a breathtaking view of the valley from the back. It has a wrap around porch looking out over the sea that is perfect for watching the sun set. If you like that sort of thing, that is. There are 3 bedrooms in the back and an office area in the front of the house facing the ocean. It has a fully equipped kitchen and two baths. There is an enclosed veranda on the back with a couple of swings. There is quite a large back yard that is fenced in as well. Its décor gives you the feeling of year round springtime and it is pretty well spread out which the square footage indicates. There is a sunken living room, which includes a central fireplace, but it is built up about 3 feet and should be more than for your little girl. A built in entertainment system with built-in speakers throughout the house is an additional perk. And there is also a standard dining room on the southern side of the house as well as a small alcove next to the kitchen that can be used as a breakfast nook or whatever else you may want to use it for."

Alexis listened patiently to the attributes of the house then turned her questions to a more important issue.

"What about schools? What kind of education do you offer the youth of the community?"

"We are quite proud of our curriculum and the honors we've garnered in our quest to become the best among the islands. I think you will be quite impressed with our system of education. We believe it is just as important for our children to have teachers at home as well as in the school. An intelligent well-behaved child begins at home… not in the classroom."

Alexis listened patiently and when the realtor was finished decided that she was ready to view the house. It sounded perfect for the type of place she was looking for, but would not discuss it further until she was granted the opportunity of viewing it.

"I would like to see it as soon as possible, but I need to first rent a car and find a car seat for my daughter. Could you point me in the direction of the nearest car rental agency?"

"I'll do better than that… I have a young one of my own so providing a car seat is not a problem. Why don't we go look at the house together, then I'll take you over to Mike's place. It isn't a big business by any means considering we are kind of off the beaten track, but he does keep a couple of cars to rent out to the few vacationers we do get. After we see the house, then you can come have dinner with TK and I. Thomas Kale; that's my little boy. I'll have you back in plenty of time to get you situated with your own transportation."

Alexis lifted her head sharply and eyed the woman standing beside her. A stranger… in a strange place... 'the woman doesn't know me at all… I could be an axe murderer for all she knows,' Alexis thought. 'And yet she's inviting me into her home'.

"I'm not… I mean… I don't need…"

The woman laughed gently before helping Alexis out of what was quite obviously an uncomfortable situation for her.

"It's Alexis, isn't it?

"Yes."

"Well Alexis, my name as you can see on my card, is Gale Redmond and I have a 3 year old son who is quite a feisty little character. He and I live alone and try to do our best to welcome anyone who chooses our little island as their new home. And by the looks of you and this little bit of heaven you're holding, you look like you could use a decent meal."

"Redmond? There was a man by that name at the airport last night who offered me a lift to the hotel."

"That would be Kale, my older brother. Was he a good guy or a bad guy last night?"

Alexis smiled absently remembering the past evenings verbal antics of both Kale and herself.

"Let's just say we could have given that storm a run for its money. It was not a pleasant night for either of us, I think."

"Well Kale does get bent out of shape a lot more these days, but I don't really blame him. Oh… what am I saying… you don't want to hear a bunch of local island gossip right now. Come on… we have a house to look at and dinner later."

Alexis grinned at the exuberance of the woman who took her arm and pulled her along beside her. There was a vague sense of familiarity about the woman and suddenly an image of Chloe floated through her memory. After the initial grip of pain that clutched her heart, Alexis' heart warmed at the blessing of having had Chloe in her life even if only for such a short time.

An hour later, Alexis stood on the front porch of one of the most beautiful island homes imaginable. It was exactly what she was looking for. To call it a cottage would be a gross understatement but it presented the cozy look and feel of an intimate cottage. The drive up to the cove was beautiful and the road wound itself along the coastline before heading inland for a couple of miles then turning back toward the coast as island trees and shrubbery lined each side of the road casting long shadows and canopies of lush greenness over the road. Just as a feeling of restless excitement began to overtake her, Gale made a final turn and traveled a couple more miles before finally drawing to a stop under a gazebo type awning attached to a rather large one-story house. It was white with deep green accents and looked as though it had been built especially for this one specific site. Alexis inhaled deeply and felt the saltiness of the ocean mist hit the back of her throat and she chuckled.

Feeling a tug she turned to find Gale reaching for Kristina and after an initial jolt of fear smiled graciously shifting Kristina to her other hip and apologetically shook her head 'no'. To hand Kristina over to anyone… regardless of who reached for her… Alexis was not ready to trust anyone with her daughter. Too much fear, anxiety and anger still rode the waves of her souls emotion. Kristina was where she belonged now and no one would be allowed to separate them ever again… whether it was for a day… an hour or a moment; Alexis held onto her daughter with a life sustaining grip and all the demons of hell could not tear her away again.

"Thank you, but I think I want her to see it with me."

Gale smiled and stepped back. She didn't miss the hint of fear in Alexis' eyes and knew in that moment that there was a lot more going on with Alexis Davis than just relocating to a tropical atmosphere for health reasons as she was originally led to believe.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. You just take your time and look around to your hearts content. I'll just take a seat on the porch over there and watch the seagulls feed for a while. Holler if you have any questions."

With that Gale turned and led Alexis to the front porch then sat down to wait as a million questions began running through her mind. Gale needed a friend and if Alexis' reactions to her were anything to judge by, she needed a friend as well. 'Maybe we can find our way to becoming friends. She looks like she could use one and I'll just bet she's a firecracker once you get to know her. And she could probably put Kale in the doghouse without too much effort at all.' Chuckling to herself, Gale leaned back and prepared to wait for Alexis to finish viewing the home that she hoped would be the one she chose.

Alexis quietly roamed from room to room and with each room fell more in love every passing moment. It was warm, inviting… open and breezy. Everything that the stodginess of Wyndemere wasn't, her own little apartment in Port Charles craved to be and each window of the little hideaway offered a view more enticing than any penthouse could ever offer. A particularly fragrant breeze blew through, sweeping the curls across her daughter's nose tickling her into laughter and Alexis' heart soared at the sound. This is it… their new home. The sound of laughter made the choice for her.

"Gale, my daughter and I have decided that we love it here and we're going to buy the place just as soon as you get all of the paperwork ready to sign."

"It was the laughing I heard that made the decision, wasn't it?"

Alexis cast her eyes toward Gale briefly then settled them back on her daughter with adoration.

"I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to say 'no' to her. All she has to do is look at me with those big brown eyes and I'm a goner."

Gale laughed and reached up to catch hold of Kristina's hand.

"Believe me, Alexis. That will change. Probably around the first time she gets her first tummy ache from too much candy. So, now that we've got you a new home are you girls ready for some dinner?"

"That's really not necessary, Gale. We can grab something on the way back to the hotel. I have a lot to do to get this place ready to be inhabited and Kristina looks like she's about ready to crash for the evening."

"It's not a problem Alexis, and besides you look like you could use a home-cooked meal. I just won't take no for an answer. I'm your hostess for the evening and that's all there is to it. Now come on troops, let's get this show on the road."

With that Gale dismissed any further arguments and turned to head toward the opposite side of the house from where she parked the car. Alexis followed frowning slightly hesitating in questioning Gale until her curiosity got the best of her.

"Gale, where are you going? The car is on the other side of the house."

Gale looked back over her shoulder and grinned before disappearing behind a line of trees leaving Alexis to quickly pick up her pace so as not to be left behind. Just as she cleared the tree line she met Gale on the other side standing in front of a house almost identical to the one she just left. Her jaw dropped and her eyes quickly returned to Gale's laughing face.

"Hi, neighbor."

"Neighbor?"

"Why do you think I wanted you to buy that jewel next door so bad? For some reason that I can't put my finger on just yet, I wanted you to be my new neighbor. I haven't let anyone see that house since it became available a year ago. Just haven't met anyone that I wanted to have it, but then you showed up and somehow I knew you were the one that it needed to bring it back to life."

Alexis didn't know what to think. On one hand she was thrilled with her purchase of the property, but to find there was a neighbor so close… and she was more than a little apprehensive with the open warmth of the woman who stood beside her. Hurt was a side effect of letting people into your life and Alexis was no amateur when it came to the harm people could cause when you let your guard down around them. Glancing back over her shoulder toward the trees she suddenly wished she had insisted on renting a car to follow Gale out here.

Noticing Alexis' hesitation, Gale stepped closer and lay her hand on her companion's arm reclaiming her attention.

"Alexis, I'm sorry for coming on so strong. It's a fault of mine that usually does get me in trouble. I don't want to scare you off. You seem to need a friend and well… I lost my best friend a year ago in a nasty plane crash and you… you just reminded me a little of her. I miss her so much it hurts sometimes."

Alexis shifted Kristina to her other hip and reached for Gale's hand.

"It's ok, Gale. I lost my best friend a few years ago too. I know how you feel. Tell you what, why don't we just take it one step at a time and see what happens. I'm not one for jumping into relationships of any kind, but you're right. I could use a friend."

Gale's eyes came up to meet hers and Alexis smiled compassionately at the pain she saw in her eyes. It was the same look she saw in her own when she thought of Chloe. There was someone Alexis could finally talk to about losing Chloe… someone who would understand.

"Well neighbor, just what do you plan on serving for dinner? I have to admit I am absolutely famished."

Turning toward Gale's home Alexis felt comforted by the casual arm that flopped down across her shoulders and the laughter emanating from the woman beside her.

"Well neighbor, you ready to try some of our distinctive island fare?"

Alexis rolled her eyes and groaned loudly.

"Gale, am I going to regret buying that house before I even pull out my checkbook to pay for it?"

Gale's eyebrows rose at the thought of someone actually being able to pay cash for a new home but decided against making any comment. Sooner or later she would pick Alexis dry about information only girl friends would know about each other. Looking sideways quickly, a small doubt inched its way across her mind at the solemn look that had fallen on Alexis face. 'Maybe I'll get to know her that way and maybe not. I think Alexis has been hurt… a lot and maybe she won't be able to open herself up again. Maybe that's why she came to live here with her little girl. Maybe she just needs to start all over and she picked here to do it. Not to worry Gale, old girl. We're just gonna have to make her see that people can bounce back bigger and better than ever before.' Gale smiled brightly and reached for the screen door pushing Alexis inside ahead of her. 'Yep, Alexis needs a buddy and I'm gonna be it and I dare anyone to try and stop me.'


	4. Chapter 4

  **_Chapter 4_**

The next two weeks passed in a whirlwind for Alexis.  Furnishing the cottage, settling in and finally having the time and freedom to learn the ways of her daughter kept her running from dawn to dusk.  Challenging adventures for a woman who laughingly chided herself for her lack of domesticity.  Through it all, the small smile of contentment never left her face. 

And then there were the evenings.  When the day was done and she settled down into the swing on the veranda to watch the sunset… her eyes often meeting the challenge of a new battle.  To rest upon the beauty of a pure sunset or on the purity of a face that looked up at her happily satisfied to sit within the comfort of a mother's arms and rest in the bond that was being forged between them. 

It was the time that Alexis spent with Kristina at the close of each day that gave her a peace she had never known before and wings to soar above the waves that slapped against the sand each evening as the tide rolled in to visit. And the memory of Port Charles gradually found its own compartment in a heart too familiar with what to do with the unpleasant events of life.  It was only when Alexis lay Kristina down for the night and quietly shared the dreams she held for her daughter in a quiet soothing whisper that Alexis could finally admit that she missed a certain pair of dark eyes; eyes that could reach into the depths of her soul and fill her with desires that longed to be free.  Kristina was the only one Alexis would confide her deepest yearnings to and as the two of them drew their day to a close together the child would reach out to capture a mother's finger before slipping into a night full of fairy tales.  And a mother filled with want would sit a while longer beside her and dream of dashing handsome princes who rode like the wind on the backs of snow white stallions to rescue her from the loneliness that always crept in to bed with her during the wee hours of the morning.

***************

It was a particularly breezy evening and Alexis stopped long enough to retrieve a glass of wine before returning to the swing on the veranda.  Tonight as she lay her daughter down for the evening a feeling of expectancy washed over her preventing her from following Kristina into a night of rest.  As she sat on the porch listening to the breeze rustling through the trees and the surf pounding against the shoreline, Alexis let her mind wander; a practice she normally refused to indulge in as it always brought the pain of the past few years too close to the surface.  But she couldn't let go of the feeling that something was different tonight.

Just as Alexis finished the last of the wine in her glass she heard the sound of a car approaching over the layer rocks and shells that served as her driveway.  Sighing with welcome recognition she stood up and stepped off the porch as she noticed Gale and Kale Redmond in the front seat.  Gale proved to be invaluable over the past couple of weeks in helping to put her home together and Alexis was finding herself becoming closer to the brash outgoing warm personable woman.  She was everything that Alexis could never be and it was refreshing to have someone close by who spoke her mind without coloring her words with vague innuendos and attempts to sweeten the truths of daily living.  Life was hard.  Time and tragedy forced Gale to understand that truth early in life just as it had Alexis.  Gale lived and spoke truth regardless of how it sounded.  She believed that a person should always be aware that no one is invulnerable to the horrors that life can inflict on a person in a moments notice and her actions as well as her daily interactions with people proved that fact.  Alexis admired Gale for her willingness to stand up for what she believed in regardless of the consequences.  She was also becoming quite fond of the woman.

Drawing closer to the car she suddenly let go of an excited cry as Alice unfolded herself from the back seat.  Running the last few feet Alexis threw her arms around an embarrassed Alice and laughed with abandon.

"You're Here.  You're finally here. Oh Alice, I am so glad to see you."

"Hello, Miss Davis."

"Did your trip go okay?  Kristina is going to be so happy to see you.  I can't wait for you to see her.  Here… let me have your suitcase."

"Miss Davis?"

"We have your room all ready for you.  It's right next to Kristina's and mine is on the other side of her.  Are you hungry?"

"Miss Davis?"

"I can't believe you're finally here.  Come in, Come in.  Hi Gale…"

"Miss Davis?  I thought it was Mrs. Alice Bergen."

Alexis suddenly stopped her rambling at the sound of a familiar deep male voice and turned to face Kale.  His closeness disturbed her as she remembered the conversation from two weeks ago when he asked her name in order to pick up her luggage.  Somehow their paths had failed to cross since that first meeting.   Alexis settled a look of daring on her face as she looked up at him.

"Alice is Kristina's nanny and my friend.  She will be staying with us for as long as she likes."

"And why would you travel under your nanny's name rather than your own?"

"I gave you the name on the luggage.  What business is it of yours whose luggage I travel with as long as it's not yours?"

Standing beside the car, Gale suddenly laughed at the two of them squared off against each other like they were ready to step into a boxing ring of some kind.

"Kale, leave the woman alone.  You're meddling and being a complete nuisance.  Hi, Alexis.  I apologize for my brother's suspicious nature.  He's got a bug up his butt about something and his manners have completely left the building."

Gale walked over to the both of them and slung her arm over Alexis' shoulder and fixed her brother with a threatening glare.

"If you'll kindly get the rest of Miss Bergen's bags we'll gladly let you get back to your life in the valley, big brother."

Alexis felt the anger rise as she watched Kale's eyes run the length of her and finally settle on her eyes with a look of disdain before answering his sister.

"It doesn't bother you one bit that you don't know anything about this woman or what brought her to this particular island, does it?"

"Actually no… it doesn't.  What I do know is that since the island changed owners three weeks ago, you've been impossible to live with and I just think you need to go take a long walk off a short pier.  You're upsetting everyone and if you raise your voice just one more decibel and wake that precious baby up, you and I are definitely going to have a problem, mister." 

Gale felt Alexis stiffen under her arm and looked toward her as Kale strode angrily off to attend to his sisters instructions.  A thought suddenly presented itself to her as she glanced over and saw the look on Alexis' face.  Hastily putting the thought away, she decided it would be wise to wait for a more opportune time to question her friend.  Something was telling Gale that the recent purchase of the island and the sudden appearance of Alexis a week later, were indeed not just a coincidence after all.  Especially if a certain woman possessed the ability to hand of the full purchase price of a home without blinking an eye.  Gazing at Alice who stood quietly behind Alexis like a bodyguard of some sort, Gale suppressed the smile that threatened and addressed her.

"Miss Bergen, welcome to our island.  I hope you enjoy your stay with us.  Now if you'll let me help you get your bags inside, I'll take off and leave you two to catch up.  I know Alexis is just filled with stories to tell you about the past couple of weeks."

Alexis felt a bit of the tension fall away as Alice finally spoke up and smiled indulgently.

"I can take care of my bags thank you, but you best tell 'him' that from now on he best be a little more respectful around Miss Davis.  I won't tolerate someone getting in her face like that again.  You tell him that.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to check on Kristina."

Neither Gale nor Alexis could stop the grins from appearing on their faces at the protective stance Alice was taking toward the Davis women.  Alexis turned to Gale and shrugged innocently.  Hopefully Gale would let it go without a lot of questions Alexis had no intention of answering.  Too many secrets were bound between Alice and herself.  And they needed to remain there.

"Gale, thank you for bringing Alice in from the airport.  I think I'll go in with her and help her get unpacked.  Coffee in the morning as usual?"

Gale understood that Alexis was politely asking her to leave and it didn't bother her one bit.  It was refreshing to have someone around that knew how to be honest about what they wanted or needed.

"Yep.  Coffee… bright and early."

Alexis laughed shaking her head back and forth.

"You know it still amazes me that there is at least one person in this world who can actually drink my coffee, and claim to like it."

With a twinkle in her eye Gale volleyed a return question back over her shoulder as she turned toward home.

"Would you rather have coffee at my place?"

Alexis forced a look of horror across her face as she called back.

"NO!  Absolutely not!  I'd like to see my daughter grow up, thank you."

Starting for the front door to follow Alice inside, Alexis muttered softly.

"How anyone's coffee could be worse than mine is a mystery to me."

Knowing where she would find Alice, Alexis headed straight for her daughter's room and leaned against the doorframe watching the big beautiful woman lean over and kiss her daughter's cheek.

Sensing someone in the room, Alice turned as Alexis walked toward her.

"I've missed her, Miss Davis."

"Alice, my name is Alexis.  You are a part of our little family now so calling me anything other than Alexis is unacceptable.  And I know she has missed you as well.  I can't wait for her to see you in the morning.  Come on… let me show you your room."

As Alexis turned she felt Alice's hand reach out and stop her.

"We have to talk Miss… I mean Alexis.  I have to tell you…"

Seeing her distress, Alexis lay her hand on Alice's and patted it a couple of times.

"I know, Alice.  Let's get you settled first and then we'll talk, okay?"

"Okay."

Leading Alice from the room Alexis began the age-old task of preparing herself for bad news.  There was one difference this time though.  The past two weeks had given Alexis time to regroup and remember the woman she used to be… prided herself on being.  And the little girl who now lay peacefully asleep in her crib did more than anyone else could have to help her mother become strong again.  Alexis was ready to face whatever news Alice was bringing.

Leaving Alice to unpack a few of her belongings she headed toward the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.  It was going to be a long night.  During her two weeks of setting up house, Alexis was forced to make a decision.  Consideration and fairness dictated that Alice be told the truth regarding the events of the past year and why it was now necessary to cut off all communications with Port Charles.  Alice needed to be given the chance to back out of her agreement if she wanted to once she was aware of all the facts.  

Seating herself on the sofa she set two coffee cups down smiling as Alice came in and sat down on the other end of the couch.  Alexis couldn't help teasing her.

"Remember the last time you and I shared a couch?"

"Miss Davis… I mean Alexis you shouldn't… I mean I…"

If the friendship that Alexis wanted to build with Alice stood a chance of progressing, Alexis knew she needed to somehow make it clear to Alice that she was no longer a servant.  She was just as important to the household as Alexis and Kristina were.  But, how do you convince a woman of Alice's stature and ingrained sense of inferiority that she was needed as a friend, a companion; a trusted integral part of their little family now.  Leaning forward, Alexis realized that in sharing the truths of her life and opening herself up to the woman, it would go farther than anything else would to convince Alice that she was definitely more than a servant.  Infinitely more.

"Alice, before we go any further, I want you to know just how much I appreciate all that you did for me while my daughter was… estranged from me.  You did more for me than you realize every time you helped me get to her.  I'm sure there were things that you heard and saw that confused you, but before we're through here tonight, you will understand everything and you will have to make a decision on whether you actually want to stay with us once you know the whole truth."

"It doesn't matter what you tell me.  I'm staying if you still want me to.  Can't go back there anyway.  People think I'm dead or something now.  At least that's what your brother's trying to get them to think."

Alexis smiled regretfully.  Stefan was holding to his promise in his inimitable style.  

"I'm sorry, Alice.  Stefan tends to take his promises very serious.  He made a promise to do whatever he had to in order to keep my whereabouts undisclosed and I'm afraid that your wishes were sacrificed to that end."

"Don't be sorry.  Best thing really.  I don't have any family that would want to look for me and I wouldn't give you two cents for any of those Quartermaines, except for Miss Lila that is.  So me being here is best for everybody."

Alexis settled further back onto the couch resting against its arm and brought her feet up curling them underneath her.  Taking a deep breath against the turmoil inside, she began to explain everything to Alice.

"Well, first.  You need to know that Cassadine Industries now owns this island.  No one but Stefan, myself and now you knows that bit of news.  In order for us to remain hidden we needed to settle somewhere that afforded us some way of keeping up with anyone coming or going from the island.  There is a guard stationed at the airport that is keeping tabs on who visits the island.  He has a photo of all the Quartermaines as well as Kristina's father and anyone associated with him."

Alice frowned at the wording of Alexis' statement.

"You make it sound like Mr. Ashton is being treated separate from the Quartermaines."

Alexis took another deep breath and continued now fully aware of the intelligence of the woman who sat next to her.

"No, Alice.  He is being treated just like everyone else in his family.  Kristina's father is another matter."

"Mr. Ashton isn't Kristina's father."

It wasn't a question.  Instead of dwelling on the statement Alice fell silent and waited for Alexis to continue.

"No.  He isn't."

"Then Mr. Ashton didn't have any rights where Miss Kristina was concerned and makes the way he was acting even more wrong."

Alexis took a sip of coffee and studied Alice over the rim of her cup.  Looking into the big woman's soft eyes, Alexis found a confidant.  A confidant worth trusting… worth sharing her secrets with and she smiled.

"Ned acted like Kristina's father because he and I agreed before she was born that he would be Kristina's father as far as the world was concerned.  I just never realized what that would mean given how the past year has played out.  Sit back and relax, Alice.  This is going to take a while."

So as a warm gentle breeze blew threw the house Alexis opened the door to the secrets of the past couple of years and laid her soul bare for this big soft-hearted beautiful woman.  It was an emotional and sometimes difficult task to get through, but for Alice' sake… it needed to be done.  

When she reached the events surrounding her sister's death, Alice reached out and took hold of Alexis' hand and squeezed once before letting go.  It was an unusually impulsive gesture on her part, but the tears that ran down the face of the wounded woman beside her reached her deeper than anything else had in a long time.  Big, tough, no nonsense Alice suddenly found herself trying to hide a couple of errant tears.

Alice prided herself on being able to read people.  It was a talent that came from years of standing on the outside looking in… of being invisible in a crowd of one.  It was a talent that for the first time in her life she wished she didn't possess.  Looking at Alexis tell such horrifying tales was enough, but to be able to see what it all had done to her on the inside was hurting Alice more than she would ever admit to anyone.  Especially Alexis.  Alice knew Alexis would not appreciate pity of any kind, nor would she cotton to words that just filled the air.  So she continued to listen as attentively as she could and when the story was finally finished, she stood up and reached for Alexis' cup.

"I'll get us a refill then we can talk about what's been going on since you left."

Alexis frowned a moment looking up at Alice, then smiled.  Alice understood.

"No questions, Alice?"

"No questions needed.  It's been tough for you.  You didn't ask to be dealt the hand you were given, but you did the best you could with it.  And you did what you had to for the wee one.  From now on you and me… we keep on doing what's best to protect her.  What else has to be said?"  

Alexis suddenly stood up and threw her arms around Alice laughing incredulously at the enormous generosity and warmth of the woman who was choosing to live her life with a debatably sane woman and her child.

"Alice, welcome to the family."


	5. Chapter 5

  Chapter 5  

"Miss Davis… I mean Alexis.  Gee, that's going to take some getting used to."

"It won't if you'll just start thinking of yourself as my friend instead of a servant, Alice.  You will not be treated like a servant in your own home."

The two women were sitting companionably side-by-side resting a moment before getting into the news that Alice was bringing in from Port Charles.

"Don't know that it will be so easy.  I mean this is your home and Miss Kristina's.  I'm just here to help out best I can."

Alice needed reassurance that her 'station in life' was undergoing a significant change; one she wasn't all too prepared for.  She took care of people… it was what she was trained to do from the moment she came of age.  A body didn't just one day change from a life of servitude to being a lady-of-the-manor so to speak.

"Alice, I've had enough servants in my life to last a lifetime.  I don't need a servant.  I need a friend and my daughter just needs someone to love her enough to help her grow up.  And one of the reasons I chose this particular house was because you could have your own bedroom right next to us.  When you agreed to live here with Kristina and I, you accepted my invitation to become a part of us… part of our family.  Your ideas, decisions and personal needs will be met with just as much respect and consideration as my own are."

Figuring to test Alexis on what she was saying, Alice took a leap and jumped in with both feet.

"Well if that's true then we best check it out right now.  I think you made a mistake with Dr. Lewis."

Alexis knew that Alice would be bringing a lot of news from home, but she was totally unprepared for the first statement out of her mouth.

"Uhmm…. I don't know what you mean, Alice.  What mistake are you talking about?"

"You left him high and dry.  He must have come to the house a dozen times between the time you left and when I left.  Always the same thing.  Where is Alexis?  What happed to Alexis?  At first, he yelled his head off at Mr. Ashton and when that didn't work he started on Miss Quartermaine.  Every time he came, he looked worse.  He tackled Nicholas and your brother at the PC Grille the day before I saw him the last time.  I was upstairs packing and heard him banging on the door yelling his head off looking for me.  I had to keep on acting like I didn't know anything so I went downstairs and let him in."

Alice leaned against the back of the sofa and remembered the confrontation.

_"Where is she, Alice?  When did she leave with Kristina?"_

_"I don't know any more than you do, Dr. Lewis?"_

_"No, you know at lot more than you're willing to admit.  Why won't you tell me where Alexis is?  Don't I have a right to know given everything I did to help her?"_

_"How long you gonna throw that crap in her face?  So, you think she owes you her life because you did a few decent things for her?  Wherever she is I hope she doesn't come back to Port Charles.  There's not one person in this town that tried to do what was best for that mother and her child without having some kind of selfish thing going on.  And from what I can see, that includes you."_

Alice watched Cameron fall back on his heels surprised at the accusations she threw at him.  Suddenly feeling ashamed of herself she bowed her head a bit and apologized.

_"I'm sorry, Dr. Lewis.  I know you tried to help her the only way you knew how.  I just don't see how everybody else couldn't see what I did when I watched her with that baby.  There wasn't nothing she wouldn't do for that little girl and everybody's treating her like she's poison or something.  Okay, she went a little nuts when Mr. Ashton got custody.  But, haven't you ever lost something that meant the difference between living and dying to you?"_

_"I don't think it's that bad, Alice."_

_"And that's why you're now standing in the Quartermaine foyer yelling your head off wondering where she is and why she didn't tell you where she was going."_

_"So you do know where she is?"_

_"No, I don't.  But, even if I did… it would be a cold day in hell before I told anyone in this town one single thing regarding that mother and child.  You can all go fry yourself… you don't deserve to be in the same room with her."_

_She watched him walk back toward the door and with his hand on the knob turn his head and look directly at her.  He nodded once then came back toward her pulling an envelope from his pocket._

_"Alice, when you see her… tell Alexis I won't stop until I find her.  You, this nest of dysfunction or her family will not stop me from finding her… and I would appreciate it when you do see her if you would give her this."_

Looking at Alexis now after recanting the scene with Cameron, Alice was confused by the look on her face.

"What's wrong, Alexis?  Did I say something wrong to Dr. Lewis?"

Alexis stood and walked over to the central fireplace and sat down on the stone ledge that surrounded it before answering Alice.

"No, Alice.  You didn't say anything wrong.  I expected Ned and Skye to go off the deep end and try to find me, but I didn't expect that level of concern from Cameron."

"Why not.  That guy loves you, Alexis.  Why wouldn't he go ballistic when you walked out on him?"

Alexis stared in shock at Alice.

"Don't look at me like that, Alexis.  Why do you think he took such an interest in you and did all that stuff for you?  Heck fire, he let his son think he was gay because you asked him to."

Jolted from the chaos running rampant through her Alexis stood up returning to the couch and shook her head as she sat back down.

"Alice, it wasn't because he loved me that he helped me out of a few bad situations.  I'm not entirely sure why he did, but it wasn't because he loved me."

Alice sighed with exaggeration and reached into her dress pocket pulling the envelope from its depths.

"He wanted me to give this to you if I saw you again."

Reaching out slowly, Alexis took hold of the envelope.  She didn't pull it toward her, she simply held it between her fingers.  The chill of the paper sent goose bumps up her arm and when Alice let go of her side, the slight tilt of the envelope down toward the couch forced a skip in her heartbeat.  Her breath caught and her hand finally made its way back to settle within her own space and rested on her thigh… her eyes never once straying from the scrawl of her name across the face of the envelope.

"Would you like me to give you some private time to read it, Alexis?"

Alice's words reached her through the fog of confusion that wrapped itself around her.  Why would he care so much?  Most of the communication between them from the moment they met was of an inflamed nature. They were always fighting with each other one way or another.  'Why does he keep coming back?'

"That's alright, Alice.  I'll save it until we're finished here.  I don't know that I'm ready for Cameron Lewis right now, so tell me what else has been going on in Port Charles since I jumped ship."

Alice looked at Alexis skeptically.  She saw enough in her reaction to know that there was more going on with Alexis where the doc was concerned than she was ready to admit and that was okay with her.  But, the rest of what she needed to tell Alexis was going to be tough on her.  With everything that Alice now knew regarding the past couple of years, the next few minutes were going to cause a great deal of worry for her new friend.

"Got anything harder around here than coffee?"

"Do I need anything harder?"

"Yeah… you probably will.  Tell me where it is and I'll get it."

"No, sit still Alice.  It will be faster if I get it.  Tomorrow is soon enough for you to start learning where everything is.  Besides I think maybe I need a few minutes to prepare myself for the worse."

"Good idea."

Alice waited patiently for Alexis to retrieve a bottle of vodka and a couple of glasses.  She watched Alexis closely trying to gauge what her frame of mind was, but all she could see was a wall being lifted in place and a chill brought about by fear settling around her.  She was afraid for Alexis and how she would handle the news.

"Okay, Alice.  Give me the worst of it and we'll see where to go from there."

Taking the tumbler from Alexis, Alice lifted it and downed it all in one shot forcing Alexis' jaw to drop instantly.

"That's impressive.  I don't know anyone besides a Russian who can manipulate that little trick, Alice.  Are you holding out on me?"

"If you mean only a Russian can stomach the likes of Myshkin Vodka; then I guess I have been holding out on you, but not intentionally.  I grew up on Myshkin Vodka.  Tea is to Americans what Myshkin Vodka is to Myshkinites.  How do you know of Myshkin Vodka?  It is not an export and normally kept only for royalty and Myshkinites."

"It is the smoothest vodka produced anywhere in Russian and I think the name holds more fascination for me than the actual liquor itself does."

"You mean Myshkin as in 'Mouse's Town'?"

"Yes.  But, that's a story for perhaps another day.  Now stop stalling and let's get this done."

Chuckling at the look of serious concentration on Alexis' face, Alice turned slightly and put her tumbler down on the table beside the couch.

"Stalling?  I think you were the one that jumped track that time, Alexis."

Alexis smiled nodding her head in agreement.

"I can tell right now, you're not going to be letting me get away with a whole lot, are you?"

"Not if you want me to be your friend."

Reaching over, Alexis gripped Alice's hand for a moment and squeezed then let go and the smile fell from her face as she prepared to hear the news Alice brought from Port Charles.

"Okay, let's have it Alice."

Alice exhaled heavily then blurted out a portion of the news she was bringing to Alexis.

"I already knew who Kristina's father was before you told me."


	6. Chapter 6

 **_Chapter 6_**

"You knew?"

"Yes."

"How?"

Alexis was stunned that Alice knew Sonny was Kristina's father.  And if it were true, there was only one way she could know… Alice confirmed her suspicion.

"Mr. Ashton."

Her breath caught in her throat choking her and she reached for the vodka again forcing Alice to jump in to help when it spilled in her attempt to fill her glass.

"Let me get that, Alexis.  You sit back and let me finish this quick."

Alice finished pouring a double shot of vodka for Alexis then sat back and began to explain how she knew about Sonny Corinthos.

"I was waiting for the time to come that I was supposed to leave the house and meet Mr. Cassadine when Mr. Corinthos busted into the house yelling his head off for Mr. Ashton.  Mr. Ashton came down the stairs followed by the wicked witch and just as he reached the bottom Mr. Corinthos flew at him and just about knocked him into eternity.  It seems that Mr. Ashton called him earlier in the morning and when Mr. Corinthos didn't jump high enough to satisfy him, he figured he'd get to him with a few home truths.  If I hadn't been trying to lay low so I could get out of there, I think I would have smacked that idiot myself.  But, he yelled it out, plain as day for everybody to hear.  Said he called Mr. Corinthos for help in finding you and when he didn't get it he figured Mr. Corinthos would change his tune if he knew he would be looking for his own kid."

Alice watched Alexis' face pale, but kept on until she finished.

"Mr. Corinthos yelled right back at him that he would find his daughter if it took the rest of his life and if Mr. Ashton wanted to live to a ripe old age he best stay out of the way and forget he ever knew Kristina.  After a few more threats from both sides, Mr. Corinthos took off yelling at his bodyguard to take him to your brother's home."

Alexis stood shakily and began to pace nervously.  Sonny knew.  And he was coming after his daughter.  Turning swiftly she questioned Alice.

"Did you have a chance to talk to Stefan before you left?"

"Yeah.  We had to make a change the plans for how I was supposed to leave.  Rather than flying out, I got on a boat and rode for a couple of hours and then flew out from a small airport down the coast a couple a hundred miles.  Everything was done real secret like.  Mr. Cassadine didn't want me to stay in Port Charles any longer since Mr. Corinthos had people all over the place paying for information about anything or anyone who got close to Miss Kristina over the past year.  But, I have a note for you from Mr. Cassadine as well.  He told me to make sure you knew that you were safe and he was still doing everything he could to keep your location hid. There is no way anybody can trace either one of us to this little island."

Crossing back over to Alice and taking the second envelope from her, Alexis tore it open and began reading.

_"Dearest Alexis,_

_We knew it wouldn't be easy, but as I've always told you, persistence is always rewarded.  All we need do now is keep a low profile and you must continue to keep your affairs well beneath the scope of interest.  Your Mr. Corinthos is certainly making a pest of himself.  I'll leave that to Alice to explain when she arrives, but rest assured that he will not be able to trace your location.  There is no hard evidence to be found anywhere that can lead him to you so relax and know that you and the newest member of our family are now safe._

_There will be a vessel arriving in a week at the north harbor of 'Runaway Bay' delivering transportation to you.  It is a private port and one that is only accessed by Cassadine Industries.  It will not dock until after dark and will be gone by morning.  Although we own the island now, I still think it best that no one on the island is able to connect you to the Cassadine name.  Be discreet, Alexis.  I know it will require a little finesse on your end, but I think it will be to your advantage if you not advertise your wealth. I have received the bank draft for the recent purchase of your home through our Switzerland account and have now liquidated all of your assets.  It will be held in trust for you until a time when you need it as we agreed. There will be a few gifts that I wish to bestow on my niece arriving as well.  You'll find everything in the storage area of the utility vehicle along with a long-range radio that will allow us to speak to each other should the need arise.  You will also find a rather sizable amount of cash in a briefcase.  It should be enough to cover any need you have for the first few months of your stay until you can secure a source of income on your own. _

_I will be returning to Greece shortly with the explanation that Port Charles has lost its appeal since my sister was forced to leave her home.  Nicholas is hurt by your decision to leave without speaking to him.  However when the time is right, we will send a message to him that you are well and no longer wish to have ties with the Cassadine name or family.  The day will come when we can explain everything to him and I am assured that he will understand why we handled things as we did.  I am reasonably certain that he has already reached the conclusion that you did what you must to ensure the safety of Kristina.  Do not worry, Alexis.  It is time for you to settle down and rest.  Live your life to the fullest and teach our little Kristina that life doesn't have to be constantly filled with mistrust, anger and retribution for past failings.  Teach her the truths her namesake knew and lived by and she'll grow up ready to meet her destiny.  Above all else; remember that I love you and eagerly await a time when I can once again look upon your beautiful face and share the stories of our youth._

_Forever your devoted brother_

_Stephan _

Alexis folded the letter slowly with the smallest of smiles touching her lips.  He came through for her.  They were safe.  Raising her head she looked at Alice as a tear escaped, leaving the sanctity of her well-guarded emotions.

"It's alright, Alice.  We're safe.  Stephan took care of everything."

Alice stood up and took the few steps that would bring her close enough to look into Alexis' eyes.

"Everything, Alexis?"

"What are you getting at, Alice?"

"I'd say he took care of isolating us real good from the right people, but that just means he also made it so you never see Dr. Lewis again.  Are you sure that's what you really want?"

Alexis dropped her eyes away from Alice's piercing gaze unwilling to let her see just how much her question disturbed her.  The thought of never seeing Cameron again was already plaguing her.  Now that she was away from Port Charles and could look at the past year more objectively without all of the trauma and madness, she knew without a doubt that it was the steady presence of Cameron day after day in her life that kept her from completely losing her mind. He along with Zander were the only ones she truly missed now.  But, it couldn't be helped.  Kristina's chance for a normal life was the driving force behind every decision she made now.  Reaching toward Alice, Alexis lay her hand on the woman's arm reassuringly for a moment then returned to the couch.

"It can't be helped, Alice.  Kristina's future is our highest priority now."

"You've given up a lot for the wee one.  How do you think she will feel about that once she's old enough to understand the sacrifices you made for her?"

Alice reclaimed her seat beside Alexis and waited for her answer.

"She won't know, Alice.  If I can give her everything that was denied me through circumstance, then she'll never have a reason to question the whys and wherefores of how we came to be here.  We will make her life as normal as we possibly can and provide her with all that she'll need both physically and emotionally."

"Awful big task you've set for yourself, given you won't have a support system in place for yourself when times get tough."

Alexis studied Alice for a moment taking in the wisdom of her words, accepting the ring of truth they held.  She was right… there would be difficult days ahead.  The proof of that fact lay rooted in her own past, having grown up herself without a father.  But there was one solace she did have through those years.  Stephan was her comfort on more occasions than it was possible to count.  Kristina would not have that comfort.  But, she would have Alice.  They would both have Alice who seemed to possess so much more wisdom than Alexis originally thought.  And now that she was free from all the madness that stripped her of her ability to reason and analyze different situations rationally, she would continue to grow stronger, more confident of herself and determined to excel in her new role as a parent.  And when the inevitable trials landed at her feet she would remember past words that always settled her enough to handle a situation without hyperventilating.   'All you have to do is breathe, Alexis,' she thought.  'He not only gave you Kristina, but he proved to you that taking an extra moment to breathe could get you past the panic.'  Alexis allowed a sad smile of regret as she thought of Sonny.  So much gained and yet, so much lost.  She missed her friend and although whatever love she felt for him was long past, she knew without a doubt that she what little time they shared together she saw the best of Sonny and for that she was truly grateful.  It was the man that reached down and took hold of her soul that Alexis would always remember and keep safe for the time when her daughter would begin to question the absence of her father.

"Alexis?"

Jumping at the sound of Alice calling her, Alexis smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, Alice.  My rambling thoughts took over and decided to take me for a ride.  Where were we?"

"I figure that look on your face had more to do with Kristina's father than it did Dr. Lewis.  Like maybe some day you're gonna end up telling her about him."

Alexis chuckled at the insight of the older woman.  "Was that a lucky guess or am I more transparent that I originally thought?"

"Just puttin' two and two together."

Alexis stood up and stretched keeping her gaze on Alice.  "Keep that up and my secrets won't be worth a dime."

"You just let me know if I cross a line and I'll back the tractor up in record time."

Alice knew a lot more than she wanted Alexis to know she did.  Working at the Q's was hard and exacting work, but given the way things turned out… she knew everything happened the way it did for a reason.  She heard so much more than a normal house servant would hear.  From the moment Kristina entered the house, Alice made it her business to know as much as possible about everyone that got close to her.  What no one suspected on either side of the custody issue was that Miss Lila's unseen hand was the guiding force behind Alice's constant care of Kristina.  On the instruction of Lila, Alice was to stay as close to the child as possible and garner any information she could from the conversations surrounding and regarding the child.  She reported on the antics of everyone as often as she could, but the day that Miss Alexis was slapped by Skye in front of the wee one was almost more than Alice could stand.  She left her post immediately and marched up to inform Lila of the incident.  Normally a calm unassuming presence around the house, it was all Alice could do to keep her voice down as she railed against the injustice being done to both mother and daughter under that roof.  Alice remembered Lila's calm voice…

_"My dear Alice… we both know that child does not belong in this house.  She belongs with her mother, but I simply don't have enough proof yet to back up what we know to be true regarding my grandson's lack of parental rights.  So, it is up to you to keep that child safe until I do.  I am not pleased with anything that has occurred where that child is concerned and although my son insists on keeping Skye under this roof, it is with regret that I admit she is more like my daughter, Tracy, than any of us are willing to concede.  She is a trouble-maker that will eventually tear this family apart unless I figure a way of getting rid of her before she does irreparable damage.  So I must ask you to continue being my eyes and ears for a while longer.  Will you continue to help me, Alice?"_

Unaware of the interest she was garnering from her companion, Alice smiled as she thought of Miss Lila.  Quiet words found their way to ears that were suddenly alert with questions.

"Such a sweet soul and nobody's fool."

"Alice… who are you talking about?"

Alice blushed realizing her thoughts were heard.

"I was just thinking about Miss Lila and what she was planning."

"Lila Quartermaine?"

"Yeah.  Didn't know she was on your side, did you?"

"My side?"

"Reggie wasn't the only one in the house who was completely loyal to Miss Lila.  And when Miss Lila sets her mind on something… best set your cap to accepting whatever she says.  And she knew that something was wrong where Kristina was concerned.  So she asked me to make sure I stayed as close to the wee one as much as possible and keep my ears open anytime it looked like some funny business was going on.  She was working on a way to get rid of Skye and I guess she still is, but my main job was to report anything unusual to her when something involving Kristina came up or about her custody."

Alexis froze… if Alice was the eyes and ears of Lila Quartermaine, then…

"You know a lot more than just what I've told you.  You witnessed every conversation I had with Ned, Skye or Cameron in that house.  You… and Lila knew Ned wasn't her father."

Her immediate instinct was to panic… and just as she felt her breathe leave her she remembered.  'Sonny already knows.  And we're safe.  Breathe, Alexis.'  She then looked back toward Alice as another question popped up. 

So why didn't you know who Dobson was sooner?"

The blush that rose on Alice's face could have matched the brightest Christmas bulb ever lit as she stammered a response.

"It seems to be a family curse or something, but… I… I sort of lose a few of my smarts when… you know… when I set my sights on an attractive gentleman.  Can we just not talk about that anymore?  It's the most humiliating experience of my life."

Alexis laughed outright at the look of complete mortification on her friends face recognizing immediately what she felt.

"Alice if that's the most humiliated you've ever been, then you need to stick around me for a while.  That's a walk in the park compared to some of the stunts I've pulled."

Alexis stood and looked down affectionately at Alice.

"I really am glad that you've decided to stay with us, Alice.  We needed you… I need you.  However, right now I'm beat and morning is going to come pretty early when her highness decides to wake the house.  So, I think I'll take off to bed.  Make this your home, Alice.  Everything you will need until you can do your own shopping is already in your room waiting for you."

Alice stood up and just as Alexis moved past her toward her bedroom she lightly punched her in the arm.  The most comfortable way she knew of to express her gratitude and liking for Alexis.

"Thanks for taking me in, Alexis.  It's been a long time since I felt like I was really welcome in someone's home.  Guess I need to start thinking about this place as my home too now."

"It sure would help when I have to explain to the neighbors why I'm living with a Mishkynite that drinks vodka like water."

Alice recognized the teasing in her voice and laughed fully quickly covering her mouth as she recognized the intensity of her belly laugh was vibrating through the house.  Living with Alexis and Kristina was going to be fun.  Alice went to her room with a big smile on her face and completely happy for the first time in quite a long time.  Alice had finally found a home and it seemed, a family to call her own.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 7_**

Settling down underneath the light comforter of her bed, Alexis pulled the envelope from the pocket of her robe and stared at her name scrawled across it in the manner that was uniquely Cameron's; such an arrogant and confident style with the merest hint of uncertainty.  It was Cameron.  The Cameron that visited her every night… that gently guided her into sleep when the unending doubts regarding her decision to leave kept her tied to insomnia as the incessant self-recriminations for not being strong enough to stay and fight plagued her relentlessly.  

"Cameron."  She breathed his name aloud as she brought the envelope close to her nose searching for his earthy scent.  Dropping her head forward to rest her chin against her chest she once again prayed the prayer that was now a nightly ritual.

"Please forgive me, Cameron."

She never offered up excuses for her actions by tacking a 'but' clause to the end of her prayer.  She couldn't force the words into reality.  When push came to shove, she didn't put much faith in him or anyone else to help her accomplish the one task that would assure her of remaining sane.  She needed her daughter, she needed to leave Port Charles and she didn't trust him enough to keep her secret.  Too much at risk… too many accusations… mistrust… too many feelings she couldn't explain… too much Cameron and yet… not enough.  Would he have understood her decision?  Or would he have defended Ned or a host of others, as he was wont to do?  Would he have stood with her in private and railed against her in public yet again?  And always with the same sadness in his eyes…  She closed her own eyes and once again looked into his.  His eyes were the most expressive part of him and they always seemed to be asking so much more of her than the words that came from his mouth.  It was his eyes that scared her most of all.  They begged for what she couldn't give him.

"Cameron." Another breath forced into release from lungs that tightened with sorrow.

She turned the envelope over and gently thumbed it open paying special attention to keeping the flap from tearing too much.  It needed to be kept as intact as possible… to be able to withstand the years ahead when a simple touch might offer enough of him to settle her fears and worries or to offer solace for nights filled with uncontrollable want.  Whatever its contents revealed… Alexis would take comfort in the fact that he cared enough to send this last piece of himself.  She pulled the letter free and gently lay the envelope down on her beside table with her name facing her then returned to the folded letter.  As she began to unfold it a photo fell from its honored place to land just above her heart.  Slowly picking it up she turned it over and a quiet cry left her throat.  It was Cameron… with Zander beside him arms across each other's shoulders smiling and waving at the camera… at her.  The two who meant the most to her in a world that had turned its back on her so many times… 

Tears of loss and loneliness began to fall unheeded down her cheeks as she caressed each face with her finger.  And as the tears finally blinded her she brought the photo to her lips and lay a soft kiss upon the face that was never too far away from her memory.  Leaning her head back against the headboard she waited for the hot tears to subside enough for her to be able to see the words he'd taken the time to send straight to her heart to forever pierce its center.  When at last her blurred sight was restored she began to read…

_Dear Alexis,_

_It was only after I realized you were gone that I began to understand just what your life was really like during this past year.  I was able to witness for myself some of those infamous Quartermaine antics you were always trying to explain to me.  I'm sorry for doubting you, Alexis.  It seems that some lessons are harder for me to learn than I would have hoped.  First I lost my sons, and now you.  I guess it took losing you to make it finally sink in.  Although I still have my reservations and opinions regarding how you handled the past year, I can honestly admit that my way would probably not have worked either.  But, for you to reach the point that escape seemed the only viable option for you… what could I have done to help keep you here… with me?  I wasn't prepared for this emptiness that is tearing me apart inside.  When I tell you that it is so much worse than when I lost Peter, it is with a greater understanding of not only myself, alone; but also of myself with and without you.  Why wasn't I blessed with the eyes of discernment as you were?  I guess the one thing that your leaving has most forced me to face… is that there is a vast difference in the way you and I love.  With you, there is no price to be exacted from those you choose to love.  When your heart becomes involved with anyone it is an all or nothing proposition whereas I tend to use my love as a weapon against those I love.  Either do it my way or suffer the consequences.  You were a witness to the conditionality of my way of caring on more than one occasion.  And for that, I am truly sorry._

_In an effort to keep me from losing my mind… I called my son.  I guess I must have looked pretty bad because he stayed with me for a while and just let me talk.  Don't remember a lot of what I said, but it seemed to be enough to convince him that my intentions toward you and Kristina were indeed honorable and that I was now having a hard time with you gone._

_The picture was his idea.  Seems he knows you better than I do and knew you would need some part of home no matter how small to keep you encouraged and able to put your hand on something tangible when doubts assail you.  My son is an extremely intelligent man.  Did I ever thank you for taking care of him?  I don't remember whether I did or not._

_It took you leaving to finally understand the hold you have on me and why I could never let go no matter how much you and I fought against that something we always felt when we finally shut up long enough to really look at one another.  I fell in love with you, Alexis.  It's just that simple and just that complicated as well.  I would have liked to be able to see your face when I first revealed my little secret to you.  How ironic it is that we seem to always be at cross-purposes.  I believe we both wanted the same things, but couldn't agree on how to attain them.  And if you would care to be as honest with me as I am trying to be with you, I think your right to regain custody of Kristina was just one of those things._

_I cannot deny that it hurts for you not to have thought enough of me to say good-bye, but I guess I can understand given the hell I put you through on several occasions.  What right do I have to ask you to trust words I couldn't exactly trust myself.  How could I expect you to look at me in the same way I looked at you when I gave you no reason to suspect what lay beneath all the bravado.  I won't stop looking for you, Alexis… nor will I stop waiting for you. _

_I hesitate to relinquish the pen I hold because it is all that connects me to you now.  My heart is tied to this pen just as it is tied to you.  Foolish though it may seem.  I don't want to lose this last remaining tie.  But alas, if I am to begin my search, I must seal my fate for this moment in order to begin my travels.  So it is with love and hope that I reach toward you and cry from the depths of my soul… _

_Until I see you again,_

_I will remain forever yours,_

_Cameron_

The letter fell from her hand as tears fell from her eyes and Alexis quickly got up and made her way into her daughter's room.  Just one look at her daughter's beautiful face and maybe some of the fire inside would die.  Alexis was infused with the fire of guilt… of hurting someone else she cared about… of walking away from… Even now she couldn't put her heart into words.  Words that needed to remain hidden lest she lose her resolve.  Sitting down in the rocking chair beside her daughter, she reached out and tenderly took her hand letting its warmth and soft silkiness find a healing path to her heart.  Kristina's eyes opened slightly and upon seeing the face of the one whose unconditional love pulled her from sleep smiled and squeezed her mother's finger before returning to play among the stars with faeries and muses, lambs and teddy bears who danced and stumbled around whimsically forever enticing children to stay as long as they liked inside the land of stardust and dreams.

Alexis smiled through her tears as she felt the grasp of her daughter's fingers tighten around hers before dropping back into sleep.  Just one smile was all it took to settle the turmoil in her heart enough to return to her own bed.  The grief for the pain she caused Cameron would never leave her… it was now a part of her and she would deal with it just as she did every other hurt she sustained in her life.  Lying down again, Alexis picked up the photo that had fallen from her hand and rested it against the base of the lamp before extinguishing the light. Closing her eyes, his face appeared before her and she smiled just before sleep claimed her with one last hesitant forbidden prayer from a heart torn between her daughter and the man her heart held on to…

"Come find me, Cameron.  Love me enough to come find me."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 8_**

It was a balmy Saturday afternoon and Alexis was sitting on the veranda thumbing through her latest issue of 'Law Review' allowing her thoughts to wander aimlessly.  She was waiting for Alice to return with Kristina having spent the last few hours watching her soccer practice.  The past nine years had been the fullest and richest of her life and her daughter was now a precocious 10 year old who enjoyed bullying both herself and Alice into sitting through hours of watching 10 year olds run back and forth across a large field kicking a small ball back and forth relentlessly.  This morning, however, it was Alice who lost the ritualistic 'weekly' straw pull that forced one of them to sit in the afternoon heat without benefit of shade for a few hours.  Neither she, nor Alice would ever admit that the time spent watching Kristina play a sport that she clearly excelled in was one of the highlights of their week.  And Kristina would never know that before each 'straw' challenge the two older women would set up the game by informing the other which side the longest straw would be on.  At times they would allow the same person to pull the right straw twice in a row to keep their little secret from finding it's way to the exceptionally smart little girl who so enjoyed the game.

Alexis knew that Alice missed having Kristina around the house during the day.  The two of them were as close as any adult and child could be given their age difference and lack of familial connection.  It was a relationship that Alexis encouraged as much as possible.  Through the years Alice had come to mean more to mother and daughter than Alexis could ever have imagined she would.  Alice was a shelter of strength for Alexis.  When the inevitable days came where mother and daughter fought incessantly, it was Alice who stepped in and explained to Kristina that whether she liked it or not, Alexis was indeed the boss and her word not matter how unfair it may seem was law and not to be taken lightly.  No amount of stomping up and down and throwing things would change that.  Once Kristina was dealt with Alice would then join Alexis, usually on the front veranda, with a couple of Kleenex in hand, knowing from experience that the battles between mother and daughter weighed heaviest on her friend.  But Alexis stood firm in her dealings with Kristina and the child that graced their days now was so much more than Alexis could have ever foreseen a child born of her body could be.

Kristina inherited quite a few traits from her mother.  She was strict with herself when it came to her studies, never needing to be chided into doing her homework.  She loved to read and often Alexis would find her reading aloud to Alice during their time together.  Kristina also possessed her mother's sense of loyalty and forgiving nature as well as her tendency to ramble when nervous.  Her physical appearance followed her mother as well.  Kristina was a mirror image of Alexis as a child until she smiled and then her father suddenly burst forth to lay claim to his part in her creation.  When Kristina smiled… Alexis remembered.

Extra curricular activities proved to be quite fascinating for Kristina much to her mother's surprise.  Not only was she an Honor student but also held official seats in 5 of the six clubs she participated in.  From the Spanish Club to the Chess Club (compliments of hours spent at Alice's knee), from the Pep Squad to the Debate team (compliments of endless hours trying to manipulate her way around her mother), Kristina was constantly dashing off to one meeting or another.  Always leaving Alexis shaking her head at the exuberance and utter independent uninhibited character her daughter possessed.  She reminded Alexis of her sister minus all of the crazy talk of 'Fung Shue' and psychic auras.  Alexis reveled in the child that Kristina was and the woman she knew was just around the corner waiting to take on the world.  Kristina was her world and every night when the sun began its descent, the two of them would find their way to the front veranda to close the day together; continuing the ritual Alexis began the day they first arrived on the island. 

But, it was the child Kristina chose to be her 'best friend' that surprised Alexis the most.  Of all the little girls that came and went over the years it was none other than Gale's boy who at the age of 4 latched on to Kristina as a baby and never let go.  He became her protector, her cohort in crime at times, and he even suffered a couple of black eyes on her behalf when the cruel jests of ill-mannered children brought Kristina home from school trying to hide the tears of hurt and anger.  TK, 'Tikki', as Kristina dubbed him from the moment she began to form words, would take her hand and sit with her on the porch swing until she was ready to talk.  It didn't matter how long it took for her to calm enough to talk to him, when she finally did he would always ask who was responsible and then simply nod his acceptance of her answer when she refused to tell him.  Once she told him what happened, the incident was over as far as she was concerned and she was ready to face another day.  Words that he heard Alice say time and time again would find their way out of Kristina's mouth.  '_Why carry into tomorrow what you can let go of today_.'   But, TK was different.  'K', his special name for Kristina, was his responsibility and no one was going to get away with hurting her if he could help it.  So, he stayed with her until she was ready to move on, then he left and set about trying to discover who the culprit was who harmed her to quietly deal with them in his own way.  It didn't take long for the children of the island to know that you didn't mess with Kristina Davis unless you were prepared to face Thomas Kale Redmond.

Her attention was suddenly drawn to her left as she heard her name called.  Turning slightly Alexis smiled her welcome as Gale appeared from around the side of the house.

"Hi, Gale.  I thought you were taking TK out to the soccer field this afternoon."

Taking a seat in one of the chairs, Gale exhaled loudly and cut her eyes toward Alexis.

"I did.  Then I had to drive him into town to see Dr. Graham.  I just came by to tell you that Kristina will probably be a little upset when she comes home this afternoon."

Immediately on edge, Alexis leaned forward piercing Gale with a concerned look.

"Why?  What happened?  Did he get in a fight again defending Kristina?"

"No nothing like that.  Thankfully I think those days are over as are his soccer days for a while.  He broke his leg on the field today and poor Alice had her hands full trying to keep Kristina from freaking.  How those two are as close as they are is totally beyond my understanding?"

Gale's remark hit a little too close to home for Alexis and she shifted her eyes out toward the incoming surf.  The 'best friend' relationship that their children shared was one that never really materialized between herself and Gale.  And she knew it still disturbed her friend. 

"Is TK alright, Gale?"

"Yeah, he's just going to be a bear for the next six weeks because of the cast he has to wear now for the next six weeks."

Gale fell silent as she glanced toward Alexis.  She instantly recognized the far away look in Alexis' eyes and knew once again that her friend was lost in thought and those thoughts would never be shared with her.  It hurt… more than she cared to admit because she had grown to love her neighbors.  Alexis Davis was one of those rare people who possessed the ability to accept you, warts and all, and make you feel like you were royalty without ever lifting a finger.  In all the years they spent living side by side, the two of them had never shared a cross word.  But, in her heart, Gale knew that were it not for their children, she and Alexis would only be passing acquaintances.  Somewhere in her past, something happened to Alexis that prevented her from opening herself up the way Gale would have hoped for.  It was a fact that she finally learned to live with.  Alexis was an island unto herself, except for the two who shared her existence.  And Gale envied Alice.  The day Alice arrived to move in with the 'Davis girls' seemed to end any chance of the two of them becoming any closer.  She still wanted to have a 'tell-all-your-secrets-to' friendship with Alexis, but it just wasn't something that was meant to be.  So she did her best to accept the relationship at the level Alexis was comfortable with and supported her whenever she could.  What she received in return was more than she received from all the rest of her friends combined.  Gale would stand in support of Alexis without a second thought no matter what the circumstance.

Gale and Alexis both turned simultaneously at the sound of an approaching vehicle and Alexis gasped when she saw Kristina leap from the car before Alice actually stopped the car.  Her words of correction instantly stilled as her daughter launched herself into her mother's arms.

"Did you hear, mom?  Did you hear?  Tikki's hurt.  He can't play anymore.  What can I do for him, mom?  How do I help him get well?"

Tears filled Gale's eyes at the absolute love of this child for her boy.  She was so much like her mother.  To give and not expect anything in return; it was a concept that she was still struggling with herself… a concept her son understood better than she did simply because he learned it from Kristina.  She looked up and found Alexis' eyes on her silently asking if she were okay.  Nodding she reached out and rubbed her hand up and down Kristina's back a few times before speaking.

"He's really okay, Kristina.  He'll be in a cast for about six weeks and then he'll be good as new.  Tell you what, why don't you run over and check on him.  I'm sure he would be thrilled to see you."

Kristina let go of her mother's neck and leaned back just enough to see her.

"Can I go, mom?  Can I please?"

"Yes, Kristina.  You can go.  But, first you must thank Miss Redmond for extending the invitation."

Kristina immediately let go of her mother and ran to Gale throwing her arms around her and placed a quick kiss on her cheek before flying toward the screen door yelling over her shoulder.

"Thank you, Miss Redmond.  Back later, mom."

Both women laughed at the exuberance of the whirlwind that just left them and Alexis raised her hand to wave at Alice who was just regaining her balance after almost being railroaded by that same whirlwind.

"Hi Alice.  I hear you've had your hands full this afternoon."

"Yeah.  Couldn't even go pick up the groceries until I brought the princess home so she could see about TK.  I declare I don't know what we're going to do with that girl.  She's certainly got a mind of her own."

Gail stood abruptly and smiled thinly an edge of sarcasm laced her words as she spoke.

"Well I don't know why that should surprise you.  She certainly comes by it honestly.  You two slay me sometimes.  What surprises me is how uninhibited that child is."

What Alice felt at their neighbor's words, Alexis saw for just a moment in Gale's eyes.  Something within the conversation hurt Gale enormously and as Alice made a quick retreat, Alexis reached toward Gale laying her hand on her arm and pulled her back toward the chair.

"If my daughter is uninhibited then it would stand to reason that all the time she has spent with you and your son has made a definite impact on her.  And for that, I am truly indebted to you, Gale.  You gave her something I couldn't.  Something that will best serve her as she grows older.  Now what was said that hurt you just a moment ago?"

Gale's heart filled at the compliment Alexis gave her and she suddenly became very embarrassed at her inability to hide what she felt.  So she left the question alone and centered on the gift.

"I believe that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me and I don't think I'll ever hear anything quite so uplifting again.  Thank you, Alexis.  But, I think it's time for me to go fix TK his afternoon snack."

As she began to rise, she was startled by a firm grip falling on her shoulder pulling her back down.

"Not so fast, Gale.  You didn't answer my question.  What did Alice and I do that hurt your feelings.  I can't fix it unless I know what it is."

Gale's face fell.  

"How can you fix something you have no control over, Alexis?"

"I can't answer that until I know what the problem is, now can I?"

Gale glanced over at Alexis becoming even more ashamed of herself.  Why couldn't she just accept things the way they were and leave the rest alone?  Gale knew why, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.  And right now, with the way Alexis was looking at her, she knew she wouldn't be able to leave until all her cards were on the table.  She stood slowly and put a little distance between herself and Alexis.

"Do you remember the day we met?"

"Vividly."

"You remember my telling you that I lost my best friend and how she was lost?"

"Yes.  And I told you that my best friend was lost as well."

"Do you know that's the first and last time we ever spoke of them?"

Alexis frowned for a moment as she retraced the past in her memory and finally hung her head at the truth of Gale's words.  She remembered thinking at the time that it would be nice to have someone to talk to about Chloe.

"I'm so sorry, Gale.  I should have been more receptive to your need to talk about…"

Gale interrupted her with an impatient wave of her hand. 

"That's not exactly what I'm driving at… sure I would have liked to introduce someone I cared about to the woman who meant so much to me.  But, for some reason that I can't understand you mentally walked away two weeks later.  Don't misunderstand me, Alexis.  I couldn't have asked for a better neighbor, but do you realize that's where it ends.  I have a better relationship with your daughter than I do you and I just really want to know why.  I mean… do I get that you have issues with relationships.  Oh yeah.  I get that big time.  Look, I guess I'm just sorry that I couldn't be a better friend to you over the years… that you couldn't trust me to be your friend.  That's all I'm saying and now I think I'll make like a chicken and scoot my way out of here before I really make an ass out of my self."

Gale was out the door in a flash and Alexis had to sprint to catch up with her.  Grabbing hold of her arm, she swung Gale around to face her and was taken aback at the tears sliding down her neighbors cheeks.  Placing her arms around the woman, Alexis hugged her for a moment then gently and firmly led her back to the porch.  Sitting down beside her, Alexis hesitated a moment before speaking.  Readying herself for what she was about to release into the care of the woman beside her.  She owed Gale an explanation.

"It doesn't have anything to do with trust, Gale.  It has to do with being so afraid of opening your heart knowing that it will eventually be crushed again and I've been there so many times, I don't know that I can take another hit."

"But you did with Alice, Alexis?  You two are closer than any two people can be that aren't boinking each other."

Alexis laughed outright at the colorful description then finally understanding a little more of where Gale was coming from, explained why she and Alice were so close.

"Gale, Alice gave up her life to come here and live with Kristina and I.  Everything Alice has done for us is because she fell in love with my daughter from the day she was born and decided that it was her lot in life to make sure that Kristina never wanted for anything.  After moving here, some of that firm resolve transferred to include me.  Alice wants nothing in return for the care she bestows on Kristina and I.  That is an attitude that, until I met her, was totally alien to me.  In my life, the level of care you received was based on the level of service you provided.  I guess through my need to protect myself from being hurt again, I put too much distance between you and I.  For that, I'm sorry.  You've been a life saver for me and I don't know how I could ever explain to you just what it's meant for me to never have to question whether your words are true or not.  You've never once caused me to think twice about allowing my daughter to spend so much time with you and TK…"

Gale suddenly smiled in remembrance.

"That's not exactly true, Alexis.  There was one time.  I knew the day we came here to look at the house the first time that you didn't trust me or anyone else for that matter."

Alexis frowned in confusion trying to remember what she could have said to give Gale and insight so personal.  And seeing her confusion, Gale continued.

"Remember my asking to take Kristina while you looked the house over and you very politely, but very firmly refused to relinquish her?  
  


Nodding, Alexis remembered.  And she remembered the fear that infused her when someone tried to take her daughter from her arms, however innocent the intent.

"I remember."

"Alexis, you were freaked out of your mind."

"I guess I was.  But, you've seen the scar, Gale.  She was just recovering from open heart surgery.  She was born so prematurely I thought I was going to lose her."

Gale breathed deeply to give herself some time to again accept that Alexis just wasn't prepared to trust her.  There was more to the story.  The things Alexis told her in the beginning versus little tidbits here and there over the years spoke volumes to Gale.  Alexis was hiding.  From what, she didn't know.  But, landing on this island nine years ago had nothing to do with health issues.  When Alexis Davis stepped off that plane it was to begin a new life, free from the outside world.  Most people who lived on the island took vacations periodically in order to get a break from the island lifestyle, but not Alexis.  In all the years they had lived side by side, the Davis girls never left the island nor did anyone ever come to the island for a visit.  She reached over and patted Alexis' hand then stood again to return home.

"It's okay, Alexis.  I won't pry.  But, just so you'll know where I stand… I've acquired quite a laundry list of important '_things to know_' about Alexis Davis.  Like for instance, you've chosen our little island as your hideaway, and 'Runaway Bay' is not just a vacation retreat for a change of scenery, but instead sort of an unloading dock for you on occasion.  And then there's the one regarding the guard who works undercover at the airport.  Things like, at one time I believe you were quite the attorney in a past life and more importantly you walked away from someone you cared very much for in order to hide from whatever was chasing you.  These are not things I intend to hold over your head; Quite the opposite.  There have been times when I've had to pull a few strings to keep your secrets safe when you didn't see a problem coming.  For instance, you never asked why Kale finally left the island after living here his whole life.  It would interest you to know that he couldn't live here any longer knowing who the new owner of the island was.  But, after listening to me scream my head off for lord knows how many days, he finally agreed to keep the secret as long as TK and myself were never put in a position of being hurt or in danger."

Gale stepped off the veranda and before turning toward her own home, left Alexis with one last thought to consider.

"Alexis, your secrets are safe with me.  They always have been."

With that Gale turned and walked away leaving Alexis frozen with her jaw hanging wide open.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter 9_**

"I can't decide if I'm mad at her or glad she's on our side."

Alice stood in the doorway having overheard the entire conversation between Alexis and Gale.

"What do you mean, Alice?"  

"Just doesn't seem right somehow that a body is so needful that she feels honor bound to force herself on others.  At least, that's what a lot of that sounded like to me.  Reckon we ought to really get her goat and tell her about 'Dobson'.  She might think twice about wanting to force a relationship that you may not want."

Alexis chuckled for a moment then grew serious.  

"She has information, Alice; information that she had to have help in obtaining.  What she knows could cost us our home.  And even as the thought runs through my mind, I have to stop and remind myself that she's known this information for quite a while it seems, and hasn't used it against us.  But rather has shielded us from whoever or whatever was coming at us that we didn't see."

"So why didn't she offer up what she knew when she found out about it?  You know, be honest enough to let you know that we might have trouble coming.  Seems to me she's taking liberties that aren't hers."

"Actually, I think I understand why she didn't tell us what she knows.  I think she believes that if we knew about what was threatening our livelihood here, we would probably pack up and leave the island.  I think she needs a family to belong to just as much as you and I did.  With Kale gone, all she has is TK.  You and I both can understand that kind of loneliness.  Alice… she may have saved us from having to deal with Ned or more to the point, Sonny.  She willingly put herself in harm's way by dealing with a possible threat to us.  We can't allow her to do that again.  I have to talk to her.  I have to know what she shielded us from and try to explain why she cannot put herself in the middle of my past and me again.  I've lost enough people I care about.  And she's been more of a friend to us than we have been to her.  I have to fix this, Alice."

"Yeah, I guess you're right?  But, if you don't get through to her about us doing what we have to for the wee one, then I will."

Alexis smiled and with a teasing light in her eye replied, "That reputation you've acquired over the years of being a real hard-ass would fly right out the window if anyone ever caught sight of you playing Barbie dolls with Kristina; you big softie."

Alice drew herself up erect and with her most menacing voice whispered, "You wouldn't dare snitch on me.  Besides I'd have to return the favor by taping that sound you make every morning when you're taking a shower.  What is that anyway?  Is that your idea of 'singing'?"

Alexis laughed heartily and teasingly slapped at Alice as she moved past her reaching for the phone on her desk and quickly dialed.

"Alice, you are simply priceless.  Hello…. Gale?  Alexis.  Look, I have a chilled bottle of cabernet that I would like to share with you…. I think we need to talk.  I owe you a debt of gratitude and a huge apology…  I won't take no for an answer, Gale.  Meet me on the beach in an hour… please.  Good.  Thank you and I'll see you then. Bye."

Turning to face Alice again… "Well that's that.  We knew that someday my past would have to be dealt with one way or another.  I guess this is the first round.  Would you mind keeping Kristina occupied while I'm out?  I don't think I want her to accidentally walk up on a conversation she's not ready to hear nor am I ready to defend to my 10 year old daughter."

************

 An hour later, Alexis sat staring out over the sea waiting for Gale to join her.  Her thoughts were racing a mile a minute and it was hard to focus enough to decide just how much she should divulge or what she could safely tell and still keep them all safe.

"Hi."

She turned at the sound of Gale's voice behind her and quickly flashed a smile of welcome toward her.

"Hi, Gale.  Thank you for coming."

Gale sat down beside Alexis and looked toward her shyly.

"I'm thinking I made a royal mistake this afternoon, Alexis and before you go off on me, I wanted to apologize.  I had no right to come at you like that and I'm sorry.  I told you in the beginning my mouth tends to get me in trouble at times and well today was the perfect day for it…"

"Stop, Gale.  You're going to pass out if you don't take a break.  

Alexis laughed gently recognizing the panic in Gale's voice.  It sounded so familiar to her… a sound that miraculously had been absent from her own voice for several years now.  Filling two glasses with wine, she handed one to Gale then lifted her own toward hers…

"Here's to a little truth between friends?"

"You mean you're not insanely angry with me?"

"How ironic you should use that particular word to describe me."

Alexis breathed deeply and let her eyes drift over the horizon as the vision of a horrifically red wig played before her.  Feeling Gale's questioning eyes on her she returned her focus to their conversation.

"The one thing that I can say without hesitation is that my sanity has definitely been tested on numerous occasions, but I can say with complete honesty that I have remained sane throughout my life.  I may not have acted in the manner that those around me would have liked, but I've also never been one to simply stand by and let life just happen.  At least I didn't before settling here on the island.  I understand where you were coming from this afternoon and you were absolutely correct in your assumption of me.  I wasn't being honest when I answered you earlier.  So we'll correct that mistake right now.  I don't trust easy.  It is a learned response from years of trusting the wrong people.  There are a number of stories I could tell you that would explain my actions over the past 9 years, but protecting you and TK is just as important to me as protecting my daughter and Alice.  All I've ever wanted is to live a peaceful life with my family safe around me.  Until I came here 9 years ago, that kind of life was an impossible dream… a dream that was only realized once my eyes closed in sleep at night.  I cannot give you all of the details you want, and given what you've already done on my behalf, frankly deserve.  I won't put your life or your quality of life at risk.  But, before I can share anything with you I need to have a few of my own questions answered first.  Can I ask you to be more honest with me than I have been with you, Gale?"

Gale looked straight into the depth of Alexis' eyes and finally found what she had been searching for since the first day they met.  There was a door finally opening to her and she was ready to do whatever she could to keep it open.

"You want to know how I know all the things I know about you and who's been searching the islands for you."

Alexis froze.  Someone was searching the islands?  What happened?  How did they it was get so close without her knowing?  Sonny? Ned?  Her heart stilled… 'Are you out there looking for me, Cameron?'  A light touch on her arm startled her and she dropped her wine glass.

"Oh…. Damn.  I'm so sorry, Alexis.  I didn't mean to scare you.  It's okay, they're gone.  I told you, I took care of it."

Alexis finally found her voice.

"What?  What did you take care of, Gale?"

"We had a visitor about a year ago.  You were on one of your mysterious trips to the bay and when I saw a strange vehicle coming up your drive. I flew around the back of the house and went in the back door.  I suspected something was up because it wasn't one of the rentals from the airport and you never have company unless you're the one bringing someone home… and it's never a grown up, just one of the kids for Kristina to play with.  I just felt like something was wrong and decided to stick my nose into your business… just in case.  When he knocked on your door, I answered it.  He looked real confused for a minute and then asked if you were home.  I told him that I didn't know anyone by that name.  He scratched his head a couple of times and started talking to himself like he was getting real panicky, so I acted real curious like and asked him if anything was wrong.  He said he just needed to find you fast and warn you about a guest that just flew in.  That's how I learned about the guard at the airport.  He and I sat down for a couple of minutes and he showed me a picture of the guy that flew in and I told him I'd take care of it and make sure you knew he was coming.  I also told him not to admit that he left his post to come out here because it would look bad for him as a security guard."

"I wondered why I was suddenly assigned a different guard.  But, the explanation I received seemed legitimate, so I let it go."

Alexis now understood that Stephan possessed more insight to her life on the island than he was willing to admit.  Which meant that she would have to use the long-distance radio to contact him in order to find out just what kind and how many inquiries had been made into her whereabouts.

"Go on, Gale… please."

"The guard left and about an hour later another vehicle came up the path and I recognized the guy from the photo the guard showed me.  I put on my best smile and again answered your door.  He was rather handsome until he opened his mouth."

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'I'm here to see Alexis Davis… get her for me'.  Well you know what that kind of attitude did to me.  So I told him off in no uncertain terms.  Said he had no right barging into '**my**' home upsetting my boy at suppertime and if he didn't leave pronto, I was going to call the police."

Alexis groaned.

"Gale, please tell me you didn't pull TK into this."

"Sure did.  I had just enough time to run to my place, get him and a little of my personal stuff to lay around on the desk and make it look a little more like my ragged place before he showed up.  So when he busted in and started rifling through things on the desk all he saw was my stuff and TK playing with his soccer ball in the den."

"Can you describe him to me, Gale?  Do you remember what he looked like?"

Gale reached into her back pocket and brought out the photo she forced the guard to leave with her and placed it in Alexis' hand.

Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed at the familiar face that stared back at her from the black and white photo.  She felt the panic begin to rise and fought it just as she had when she first learned that Sonny knew about Kristina.  'Breathe Alexis.  You're still here.  No one has found you yet.  Breathe.'  Her breathing slowed and the panic subsided quieting the ringing in her ears enough to hear Gale calling her.

"Alexis.  Alexis, it's okay.  He left.  I was able to convince him that no one lived on the island by the name Alexis Davis."

"How, Gale?  He is a very persistent man?"

"I first showed him the phone book and then I showed him the island's 'Log of Locals'.  You know the list I'm talking about.  It's the one you didn't want your name in no matter what the law of the island was.  That was the first time I pulled a little magic trick and one of the things that Kale zeroed in on.  He couldn't figure why you were so adamant about not wanting to register yourself as a resident of the island if you weren't hiding from somebody or wanted for some crime or another.  And the only other person who was never required to have their name in that particular book was the previous owner of the island."

Lifting the picture a little to draw Gale's attention back to it, Alexis asked, "and he bought that story?"

"Well, not right off.  For some reason he seemed to be having a little problem with accepting the fact that he could have been wrong about you living here.  He spouts off a few more questions and I finally made up a story about a woman who lived here a couple of years ago that absolutely refused to have her residence registered and she left after a while.  He asked what the woman looked like and I told him I didn't remember a lot about her, but her companion was a rather big red-headed woman.  Geez, when I said that his face went blood red and I thought he was going to bust something.  Then he asked me if they had a baby with them and I acted like I was really thinking hard trying to remember then finally told him I thought so, but I just couldn't really swear to it since it was so long ago.  He slammed out of the house and left without looking back.  I called the guard a little later to make sure the guy left the island and he said yes that the ticket he bought was for a one-way trip to Greece."

Alexis was dumbfounded.  How could she have missed everything surrounding the entire incident?  Had she gotten so comfortable within her sheltered existence that she was now vulnerable again?    She stood up in frustration and walked toward the surf stopping close enough to let the in incoming waves wash over her feet and breathed deeply a couple of times.  The turmoil immediately began to settle and she turned back toward Gale.

"How did you know it wasn't someone I would have wanted to see?"

Gale grinned sheepishly and rose to join Alexis.

"Well, that part of it might just be the one thing I did that could bring that line-crossing thing into play.  When the guard left, I searched your home for any pictures you might have lying around and whether or not the face on that picture in your hand matched any in your home.  The fact that there are no pictures of anyone outside the three of you in your home, except for the one on your nightstand became another of those tidbits I've been collecting.  And since the guy in this photo was not one of the two on your nightstand, I figured he didn't have any rights to be busting into your home.  So, I took care of the situation the best way I knew how."

Alexis nodded and looked back out to sea whispering her thoughts just loud enough for Gale to overhear.

"You probably saved me from losing Kristina again."

"AGAIN?" Gale cried.

The sad smile that Alexis allowed at Gale's outburst showed the first sign of unease that she felt since moving to the island.  She knew she wasn't mentally prepared for any fight that came her way now.  Too many years of living without threat and without fear had dulled her instincts.  She made her way back to the blanket and sat down waiting for Gale to join her.  There were so many questions and points of debate crashing against the walls of her mind.  She needed time to work through it all and put it all into some sort of perspective, but also needed to enlighten Gale a little as well.  Alexis decided to hi-light her reasons for moving to the island instead of telling Gale the whole story.  The less Gale knew the better off she would be where the issue of safety was concerned.  

"Kristina was born under very complicated circumstances.  Because I felt that her safety was in danger, I made a decision to allow someone other than her father to take on that role and the whole mess spiraled out of control.  The man I looked to as a suitable substitute father… well suffice it to say that he disappointed me in more ways than I can say.  As it happened, he ended up with custody of Kristina through some illegal maneuvering of the justice system. I was left doing whatever I could think of to try and get close enough to just lay eyes on her.  It didn't help matters that he attached himself to a woman whose sole agenda was to steal Kristina from me by ingratiating herself so firmly into his life that he lost sight of what was right and wrong.  I ended up here on the island because it was the only thing I could think of doing in order to finally be able to make a home for my daughter with people whose sole concern was her welfare… what was best for her.  She deserves a chance to grow up without constant chaos around her."  As the import of what she was revealing to Gale fully hit her she lowered her head and whispered, "She deserves more than what I had."

Hearing the words leave her mouth, Alexis was suddenly aware of how weak her voice sounded and it sickened her.  This was not the Alexis Davis who stood her ground and fought to survive her youth nor was it the determined take-no-prisoners attorney who fought for the civil rights of anyone she felt was being abused.  

Gale's eyes widened as she witnessed the reemergence of the Alexis Davis who survived the loss of her mother and sister… survived the attempts of Helena to end her life… survived the trauma of being raised a Cassadine… and survived every emotional upheaval that came at her from so many different directions that it would take a lifetime to sort them all out.  She was a survivor.  It was what she learned best from her 46 years on this earth.  Gale saw the steel return to Alexis' eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter 10_**   
  
For the next hour Alexis grilled Gale about what she knew, how she obtained her information and everything surrounding the events of their uninvited guest. When she was satisfied that she knew everything Gale knew, she nodded her head satisfactorily and thanked Gale for her honesty.   
  
"Gale, things are going to change around my house. I'm not about to uproot my daughter right now when she is so firmly entranced in her school activities. She's happy and I don't want that to change. But, I have to start paying more attention to those details that I've let slide… things that could lead someone to us should there be anyone out there still trying to find us. I don't want you in the middle of this, but I need you to know how grateful I am that you protected my daughter with what you did for us. I won't forget it. You've been a good friend to all of us… a real friend and I apologize for not trusting you and being more of a friend to you."   
  
Alexis reached for Gale and pulled her into a tight hug before letting go and meeting her eyes candidly.   
  
"You know that there is so much more that I haven't told you. But, I need you to trust me and try to understand that it's for your protection. You really don't need to know any more than you already do right now. I will not have any harm come to you and TK on our account and I will do whatever I have to in order for us all to remain safe. Should the time ever come when I think something may happen that could reach into your life… I'll take my family and leave the island. Do you understand what I'm telling you, Gale?"   
  
It was Gale whose tears could not be controlled this time. 'They were all such sweet people. How could anyone want to tear them apart?' She understood Alexis more now and again felt ashamed for her insecurities. She reached out hesitantly and took hold of her friend's hand.   
  
"All I understand at this moment is that you are my friend, and friends don't turn their back on each other when the going gets rough. If you don't want me to know anything else, fine. It just means that I will be helping my friend fight whatever is coming with blinders on. I don't have to know anything else. Living next door to you for 9 years has allowed me enough time to get to know all of you well enough that it doesn't matter who comes up that driveway from now on. We stand together and fight as a team. If it gets ugly, we ship the kids and Alice off to stay with Kale for a while until it's all over. But, you need to get it through that head of yours right now Alexis Davis; I don't turn on my friends and I don't leave them to face trouble alone."   
  
Alexis listened to her friend's declaration and slowly shook her head back and forth. As surprised as she was by the magnitude of what Gale was offering, Alexis knew that there was just no way she would ever be able to explain Sonny Corinthos to her.   
  
"It's okay, Alexis. Don't worry. We'll leave it all here for now. If you think there's something I need to know… you'll tell me. Until then, I trust you to know what's best." As she turned to leave she stopped and looked back toward Alexis over her shoulder. "Since what we know of each other seems to be a bit unbalanced at the moment… you might find it interesting to know that TK is not my son. He was stolen from an abusive home to save his life. Like you, this island is also my hide away." With that Gale turned and walked away leaving Alexis staring after her shocked and speechless.   
  
******************   
  
"Alice, is Kristina still visiting with TK?   
  
Alexis sat down at the dining room table to talk to Alice while she prepared dinner.   
  
"Yeah, she'll be back in a few minutes though since I called over to tell her dinner is almost ready."   
  
"Good that means we have a little time to talk before she shows up. We need to start being a little more careful; more alert to the goings on around us, Alice."   
  
Laying the paring knife down, Alice joined Alexis at the table.   
  
"What's going on? Somebody looking for us?"   
  
Alexis pulled the photo she acquired from Gale from the back pocket of her jeans and lay it on the table pushing it slowly toward Alice.   
  
"MR. ASHTON! He FOUND us?"   
  
"No, thanks to Gale's quick thinking. He was here about a year ago on one of the weekends that we were at the 'bay'. Through a lot of verbal choreography on her part, she was able to convince him that we were only here for a year before moving on. He left the same day. But, what we don't know is if Sonny or anyone else was following him or whether we ourselves may have inadvertently left anything unguarded enough for Sonny to be able to find. We haven't been nearly as cautious as we should have been the last few years. I guess I became so comfortable in our own private little world here that worrying about the outside world became less of a priority."   
  
"Yeah, I guess we have kinda got relaxed about everything. Do you think we have any reason to be concerned right now?"   
  
"I don't know, Alice. That's why I'm going to use the radio to call Stephan tonight. It seems he also has some explaining to do. Is it still where we hid it the last time?"   
  
"No, I had to change the hiding place. Kristina found it and started asking questions. I told her it was an old radio that you kept around for sentimental reasons."   
  
"Okay, once she's gone to bed, you can show me where it is and I'll start checking into just what kind of trouble we may have lurking around the corner."   
  
"What if you find Dr. Lewis is still looking? What are you going to do about that?"   
  
Alexis stood abruptly the expression on her face turning to stone.   
  
"There's nothing to do, Alice. It's been 9 years. He's probably forgot all about us by now. Besides, it's best to leave the past where it belongs." Moving toward the door, she escaped by telling Alice she was going to call Kristina home.   
  
Instead of doing as she intended, Alexis found herself moments later sitting on the side of her bed staring at an old worn photo. The faces were a bit marred by time and by hands that had reached for 'them' in the middle of the night so many times it was impossible to number. Countless hours were spent holding on to this one photo as though it were the answer to all her hopes and dreams. One face more faded than the other, proof that it was caressed so much more; caressed by fingers that longed to reach out and touch flesh and bone… arms that ached to hold on to more than just a tattered letter pressed to her breast. She moved quickly to wipe away a stray tear that landed on the heart of the man who still held her heart so many years later. 'Where are you, Cameron? Do you still love me after what I've put you through?'   
  
She sighed heavily and replaced the photo on her nightstand and jumped when she heard her daughter at her door.   
  
"Mom, you okay?"   
  
"Yes, sweetheart. I'm fine."   
  
"But, you're crying."   
  
"It happens, Kristina. Don't you cry sometimes?"   
  
"Well yeah when I get hurt or you don't let me have my way about something."   
  
"And you get over it, don't you?"   
  
"After a while."   
  
"And so will I. So, are you ready for dinner?"   
  
"Yeah, I just have to wash my hands. Alice told me to come get you. She sure is grumpy right now. Did you two fight about something?"   
  
"Now when have you ever heard Alice and I fight about anything, Kristina."   
  
Kristina's face scrunched up as she thought for a minute, then looked back at her mother with an impish grin.   
  
"The last time you two fought was when you left the gas tank empty in her car and Alice ended up walking two miles to find a pay phone to call home because you took her spare cell phone out of the car. She was really mad at you and it was so funny watching her try to hide just how mad she was. Alice hates getting mad."   
  
Alexis laughed remembering that not so little incident. Alice was indeed furious with her and had every reason to be. She needed to run into town on a consulting errand and her car didn't have enough gas so she took Alice's and forgot to fill it up. The poor woman was a mess by the time she finally got home and absolutely refused to cook dinner for them. Alexis stood and began moving toward her daughter.   
  
"Come on, my little one. Let's go get ready for dinner. Maybe we can find something funny to tell Alice so she'll come out of that grumpy mood."   
  
Alexis stopped suddenly as her daughter ran to her and wrapped her arms around her waist.   
  
"Kristina, honey what's wrong?"   
  
"I don't want you to cry anymore, okay?"   
  
Kneeling down, Alexis looked into the face of her beautiful daughter and smiled.   
  
"Do you know how much I love you, Kristina?"   
  
"Yes. They didn't make enough words in the whole world for how much you love me and I love you."   
  
"That's right, sweetheart. I love you so much that it's like the sun chasing the moon. They go round and round and round and never stop chasing each other. And that's what love does inside my heart." Alexis reached up and began tracing circles with her finger over her daughters heart as she continued, " It keeps going round and round and round and never ends. And sometimes that love makes me cry. It's not a bad thing, Kristina. It just helps me to understand that love will always be a part of my life, no matter what happens."   
  
Alexis was well aware that her description of love not only pertained to her daughter, but distancing herself from Port Charles had given her time enough to separate the bad from the good. She could finally separate love from all of her other emotions. Living every day infused with fear and panic kept everything so big it was impossible to see what was real. And when all of the debris was finally cleared away, one thing remained. She found within herself what remained of a love that was destined to belong to Cameron Lewis.   
  
Kristina put her arms around her mother's neck and squeezed real tight and whispered.   
  
"That's what my love does too, mom. We're just alike."   
  
Pulling out of her mother's arms Kristina skipped out the door content that her mother wasn't going to cry again leaving Alexis to stand slowly with a worried frown on her face.   
  
"We are so much alike, my little one. But, you also have a great deal of your father in you as well. I wonder what he would think if he knew that you inherited his temper? And I wonder just how close he has come to finding you? If Ned could find us, then why hasn't Sonny?"   
  
So many questions were churning in her head and she needed answers. Looking back once toward the photo she left on the nightstand, she straightened and refocused her attention on the problem at hand. Raising fingers to her lips she blew a gentle kiss toward the face that still held her dreams in the palm of his hand then followed her daughter.   
  
With dinner finished, Kristina working on a school report and Alice cleaning up the kitchen, Alexis took her place on the swing to wait for Kristina where they would spend their daily quiet time just talking and being with one another. It was a particularly breezy day and that morning she and Alice went around opening all the windows to let the air flow through the house. The smell of salt water and fresh air moving through the house was just too inviting to pass by. Allowing her thoughts to return to how she was going to approach Stephan, Alexis froze as she heard Kristina talking to Alice.   
  
"Alice, who is Cameron?"   
  
Afraid to move for fear of missing anything, Alexis leaned toward the window a little more and stopped the movement of the swing as she listened to the continued conversation.   
  
"Cameron? Where did you hear that name, Kristina?"   
  
"From mom."   
  
"When?"   
  
Kristina looked up at Alice afraid that she was in trouble for something when she heard the timbre of Alice's voice change. She hesitated for a moment and decided it was too important to leave it alone.   
  
"I've heard her say his name a few times. Mostly when she's asleep though. But, I heard her say his name again just before dinner and she was crying. I just wanted to know who he is?"   
  
"So why didn't you ask her?"   
  
Hopping up on to the barstool at the kitchen counter, Kristina rested her chin in her hand.   
  
"Because she won't tell me. She'd probably say something to try and put me off or she would change the subject like she always does when I ask questions that she doesn't want to answer."   
  
"What kind of questions have you been asking? Maybe you're prying into something that's not your business. Big people have things they keep to themselves just like little people do."   
  
"But, don't you think I should know who my father is and why we never take vacations or why I'm not allowed to do certain things my friends do?"   
  
"Looks like you got a lot of questions rolling around up there in that head."   
  
"Yeah, questions that don't get answers. It's just not right, Alice. And I get so messed up when mom tries to get out of answering questions because you know how she feels about lying. Nobody is allowed to lie around here for any reason, so why can't she just tell me."   
  
Alice tossed the dishtowel down and sat down beside Kristina.   
  
"Have you ever thought that your mom may have reasons for why she doesn't tell you certain things?"   
  
"But they're about me, Alice."   
  
"Okay look, princess. Let's try to look at this from your mother's point of view. You know she loves you, right?"   
  
"More than all the words in the world."   
  
"Right. So, if you were in her shoes and thought someone you loved that much could be hurt by something, what would you do?"   
  
Alice watched Kristina's face fall into a look of concentration and waited for the child to process her thoughts against the question on the table.   
  
"Well, if I thought somebody I loved was going to get hurt then I would do everything I could to make sure it didn't happen. So, what you're saying is mom is trying to protect me from my father?"   
  
Outside… Alexis grimaced. '_Easy, Alice. Be careful_.' Alexis pleaded as she strained to get closer to the window.   
  
And on the inside… _'She's a bright girl'_, Alice thought. But, this was a conversation that she didn't want to have with Kristina. She didn't feel it was her place to discuss the things that should be kept between Alexis and Kristina.   
  
"What I'm saying is that I know for a fact that there is going to come a time when you ask your mom one of those questions, you will get the answers you want. But, it will be a time when she thinks you are old enough for the answer and not before then. See, it's not so much that your mother is protecting you as it is the timing is just not right yet for you to know certain things. Don't you think we should respect her enough to leave that decision up to her?"   
  
Alexis breathed with relief.   
  
"Which means I should just ask her when it will be the right time for me to ask who my father is?"   
  
"Sounds like a plan to me. But, I want to ask a favor of you, Kristina. Just between you and me, okay?"   
  
"You know that all you have to do is make me pinky swear and nothing gets out about any of this which is what you have to do with me about everything we just talked about. I don't want mom to cry anymore."   
  
"Fair enough. I'll keep this little talk just between you and me and in return you have to promise me that when you ask your mom that question… you have to take her word on it and let it go. Don't keep harping on her about it. Keeping anything from you is hard enough on her without us making it harder by keeping on nagging her about it. Okay?"   
  
"I don't nag, Alice."   
  
"Kristina." Alice chided.   
  
"Okay, it's a deal."   
  
Alice was about to get up when Kristina suddenly grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving yet.   
  
"Alice?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Mom, didn't grow up a happy kid, did she? I mean not like me."   
  
Alice' eyes misted over at the concern she heard in the child's voice. She drew a deep breath and made the decision to give this child at least one truth.   
  
"No, princess. She didn't. She had a hard time. That's why she's so determined to give you a happy life with everything that little girls need to grow up safe and loved."   
  
"That's why we're here, I guess."   
  
"What do you mean, Kristina?"   
  
"She couldn't find anywhere else that was safe for me to be happy in. Mom moved us here to make sure nothing bad ever happened to me, didn't she?"   
  
Alice wanted out of this conversation bad. It was too much for her. She was caught between a rock and a hard place and it didn't feel good… not one bit. _'Where the hell is Alexis?'_, she thought to herself.   
  
"Kristina, I know you have questions. They're good questions. Smart questions. But, the answers are just not going to come easy and they're not going to come from me. I'm sorry, sweet pea, but it's just something you're going to have to be patient about. And I know how hard that is for you when you want something. Why don't you just talk to your mom about it tonight while you're on the porch having your special time!   
  
Kristina huffed with irritation once and expelled a succinct, "Fine." Climbing off the barstool she flounced out the front door and fairly threw herself into the swing beside her mother crossing her arms in front of her.   
  
"Having a snit fit, Kristina?" Alexis asked wryly looking down at her daughter saddened by the conversation she just overheard. Kristina wanted answers and Alexis just wasn't ready yet. And she didn't believe Kristina was ready yet either.   
  
"Mom, I just don't understand you and Alice sometimes. You guys share all kinds of secrets, but you won't ever include me."   
  
Alexis unconsciously shook her head back and forth knowing that her daughter was exhibiting another one of her inherited characteristics. Rather than jump right into what she was discussing with Alice, she skirted the subject.   
  
"Why do you do that, Kristina?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"Start something with Alice, but refuse to discuss it with me in the same way you did with her?"   
  
Kristina slanted her head sideways and slid her eyes up toward her mother and mumbled.   
  
"You heard us?"   
  
Alexis lifted her hand and pointed toward the open window with a gentle smile.   
  
"Kind of hard not to, sweetheart."   
  
Kristina straightened up and moved closer to her mother taking hold of her arm and drawing it around her like she had so many times before; her head leaning to rest against her mothers shoulder.   
  
"I'm sorry, mom. Sometimes I just don't know which one of you to talk to. I get scared to talk to you about some things because I don't want you to be sad. And it makes you sad when I talk to you about some things and then I end up crying and then it just feels like I should never ask another question ever about all the things that really bug me. But, then another day comes and I think I'll just bust if I don't find out what I want to about the things that really bug me. It's a mean mean circle, mom. Up down Up down Up down. And in the middle of it all is this thing inside me that I don't understand and it keeps growing and growing and growing till I just know one day I'm going to bust wide open and then where will we all be?"   
  
Kristina felt her mom's laughter before she heard it. Lifting her head she looked up and grinned.   
  
"I'm doing it again… right?"   
  
Alexis nodded vigorously trying desperately to stop her laughter. Her daughter needed to unburden herself and it was not the right time to find her daughter's tendency to ramble amusing.   
  
"I'm sorry, Kristina. I think that's the one thing you acquired from me that you could certainly do without."   
  
"But doesn't it make you feel better when you do it, mom? I mean you just get it all out there and somehow you kind of feel not so trapped inside your head with all the words banging at you."   
  
Alexis stared down at her daughter amazed at her ability to express herself as well as explain something that she could never have explained regarding her own tendency to ramble.   
  
"You know, sweetheart; that's the first time I've been able to understand why I ramble and I am amazed that you can explain it so well. Thank you."   
  
With a look of pride on her face she patted her mom's knee.   
  
"Your welcome, mom. Maybe it just takes a kid sometimes to get right down to the middle of something so it makes sense."   
  
Laughing again Alexis replied, "you're probably right, Kristina."   
  
Shifting just a little she drew Kristina closer and grew serious.   
  
"Okay first… there is absolutely nothing you can't come talk to me about. I thought you already knew that, but even if you didn't I need you to know that I will always be here to listen to anything you have to say. If you're having a problem, we'll work together to figure it out. If we need to, we'll bring Alice in to the mix and ask for her help with whatever the problem is. You know Alice has a way of putting us both in our place when we get a little too big for our britches. So no matter what, Kristina I need you to know that I will always be here to help you, and keep on loving you just as much as I did the moment I laid eyes on you when you were born. Actually that's not exactly true, because I love you more now than I did then… but I'm sure that once you have your own daughter, if you decide to that is, that you'll understand exactly what I mean…"   
  
"Uhmm… mom?"   
  
"Hmmm…"   
  
"There must be an awful lot of words banging around inside your head right now."   
  
The laughter rose up in her and burst forth like a geyser and Alexis reached for her daughter with her other arm and pulled her close in a tight hug thrilling at the laughter she felt inside her small body. Together they laughed uncontrollably until both lost their breath. Finally gaining a bit of control over her laughter, Alexis tweaked her daughter's nose softly.   
  
"Do you know how much I absolutely adore you, angel? You can make me laugh even on the worst days."   
  
"Well I can't help it. Sometimes you just look like you need one of Alice's big belly laughs. I like to lay my head on her tummy when she laughs. It's just like a tiny trampoline and it tickles my ear."   
  
Alexis lost it again. Her daughter was the light of her life and she could never imagine what a day without her would be like. The thought of it and remembering the disturbing news she now possessed sent cold chills through Alexis and the sudden anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach was not lost on the child that sat beside her.   
  
"Mom?"   
  
"It's okay, Kristina. I just had a particularly sad thought walk right through me."   
  
"Is it okay if I ask what it was?"   
  
"Of course, it's okay. I was just thinking that I don't think I could survive if I couldn't see my beautiful daughter's face just once every day or hear her beautiful laughter ringing in my ears."   
  
Kristina looked up at her with surprise.   
  
"Mom, you know I would never leave you. I couldn't. You're all the way inside me. I wouldn't be me without you."   
  
Alexis stilled at her words. They were strange words coming from a ten-year-old. And if Alexis could hazard a guess, she was real close to the root of her daughter's problem.   
  
"Kristina, honey, scoot up here."   
  
Kristina knew what was coming and scrambled up to straddle her mom's lap. Placing their hands on each others cheeks they looked straight into each other's eyes and recited…   
  
_"On my honor   
I will be true   
Until all is right   
With me and you   
Sealed with a kiss   
Just as true_

Alexis kissed her daughters cheek and then settled back to hopefully help her release the burdens of her young heart.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 11_**

"Ok munchkin, I go first this time since you went first the last time."

"Right.  You go first, mom."

Alexis looked into her daughter's eyes for a moment considering how she could open her daughter's heart enough to reveal what was troubling her most.

"Kristina, a moment ago you said something that I don't really understand and I'd like to see if you can explain it to me."

""I'll do the best I can.  What did I say?"

"You said that there was '_a thing inside you_' that you didn't understand.  Can you try to tell me what that 'thing' is?"

Kristina thought for a moment then looked into her mother's caring eyes. 

"I don't know if I want to tell you, mom."

"Why not, sweetheart?"

"Because… because… oh darn.  Do I have to, mom?"

"No, Kristina… you don't.  But, I want you to think about something for a minute.  You and I are a part of each other.  What hurts you hurts me and when I hurt I know you can feel it as well.  It doesn't mean that we can't talk about the things that hurt us; in fact it would probably make the problems easier to face if we did talk to each other when we get hurt.  Does that make sense?"

Kristina reached up and twisted a lock of her mother's hair around her finger as she thought about what her mom was saying; her face completely still as she studied on each word until she was satisfied that she understood.

"Yeah.  But that's not always how it works though."

"What do you mean, Kristina?"

"You don't share with me as much as I share with you.  You hold secrets and I know that some of them are about me and when I ask you different questions you dodge them or pop off some quick answer that doesn't help me at all to understand this hole that's inside me all the time now."

Alexis knew all too well what Kristina was talking about when she spoke of a hole inside.  Kristina was missing a part of herself that only she as her mother could provide; a father to fill in all the blanks.  Alexis leaned her head forward and rested it against the forehead of her daughter.  Kristina wanted answers…. Answers that she was still too young for.  How could she put her questions on hold for just a couple of years more?  Years that would provide her daughter with a little more security… a little more inner strength.

"Ask me the question that bothers you most, sweetheart?"

"Does he know who I am?"

Alexis was stunned.  The question of who her father was came second to whether he knew of her existence or not.  Such an inquisitive mind that analyzed everything that came at her.  Just like her mother.  Alexis dropped her gaze and took hold of her daughter's hands.

"Kristina, there is so much that I want to tell you; things that you need to know and frankly have every right to know.  But, so much of your mother's life is very difficult to explain especially to one so young.  And I know our 'Honor Oath' is just as important to you as it is to me, but there are just some things that I need a little more time with before I tell you.  And I will tell you everything you need to know.  But right now I'm asking you to give me just a couple of years to help you get ready to hear what I will tell you.  Sweetheart, you are just not old enough yet."

A small tear fell from the corner of Kristina's eye and she quickly ducked her head and brushed it away knowing the sight of it would hurt her mother.  There was so much she wanted to know about her father.  She wanted to know why they didn't all live together, why there were no pictures of him around the house.  She wanted to know why Alice got all red in the face when she asked her about her father.  But, most of all she wanted to know if her father did something to hurt her mom so much that she had to leave.  Kristina never wanted her mom to be hurt.  All her life everything her mom did was somehow centered around her and even though it was great from a kid's point of view, Kristina wanted more for her mom.  Her mom deserved to be just as happy as she was.  But, something bad must have happened between her mother and father for him to not be around now.  Looking up she stared into her mother's eyes wanting to make everything alright for her.

"I understand.  He doesn't know me because we left and came here.  It's okay, mom.  I know you'll tell me when you can."

Kristina saw a tear fall from her mother's eye and she reached up and gently wiped it away.

"Don't cry, mom.  I told you I can wait and I will.  Just think; it'll give me time to work on my patience problem."

Alexis smiled sadly wrapping her arms around her daughter and hugged her tight.  How did she get so lucky with this precious child… so blessed.  Leaning back she reached up brushing the hair out of Kristina's face and smiled at her.

"You have your father's smile, my little one.  And I'm sorry to say you're right.  He doesn't know you are his child.  But if he did, he would love you just as much as I do.  The hole you feel inside is that part of you that he would fill if he were here.  Did you know that I have one too?"

"You have a hole too, mom?" Kristina asked with surprise.

"Just like yours, but there's more than one hole in mommy's heart.  There's one for my father, my mother and my sister because they are no longer a part of my life.  Because they had to leave just like TK's dad left."

"You mean they all died?"

"Yes sweetheart, they did."

"Do you miss them?"

"Everyday of my life.  I think I miss your Aunt Kristina more than I miss my mother and father, because you remind me so much of her."

"Yeah, I remember.  You named me after her because you loved her the bestest.  I wish she was still here.  I think you really need her."

"Why do you say that?"

"You don't smile enough, mom."

"That's not true, Kristina.  I smile all the time."

Kristina hesitated then smiled conspiratorially.

"Let's make a deal."

Alexis shrugged her shoulders and smiled hoping that her daughter was through with her questions for the evening, but somehow knowing she was up to something.

"Name it first, then we'll see."

"I'll stop with the questions for two whole years if you'll tell me who Cameron is?"

Alexis stared at her daughter dumbfounded.  How could a child of ten be so delightfully adorable one moment and devilishly cagey the next?  There had to be so much going on in her child's head constantly to be able to come up with some of the stuff she came up with.

"Kristina Davis… I don't know what to do with you sometimes.  Is that how you get your way with Alice as often as you do?"

"Pretty much.  Hey… it works so I use it.  A girls gotta have some kinda way of getting around such strict 'parents'."

Alexis chuckled at the complete honesty of her child.  

"So? Is it a deal?  I get one answer and leave the rest alone for now?"

Alexis reached up and again brushed the hair from her face and smiled as her daughter mimicked her with a sly grin knowing she was fixing to get what she wanted.

"You really do know how to manipulate your mother, don't you?"

"It's a gift."

"A gift you would do well to forget, munchkin.  You and I will discuss later why that particular 'gift' as you call it is more of a curse.  But, I'll play your little game this one time because I heard you talking to Alice about hearing me say Cameron's name.  And I don't want you to be worried or concerned about me."

Taking hold of her daughter's hands, Alexis began a story of a wonderful caring man whose heart was so big that he saved a baby's life by rescuing her mother on the night she was born.

"And do you know whose life he saved, Kristina?"

"Who?"

"You.  You were the life he saved.  I have you because Cameron found me in the park and took me to the hospital where you were born.  If he hadn't found me then I probably wouldn't be sitting here with you right now."

Alexis waited a moment while her daughter was clearly processing something in her head. When small hesitant eyes finally looked up in to hers she took a deep breath to prepare herself.  Kristina definitely seemed to be on a mission tonight.

"Is that why you love him, mom?  Because he made it possible for you to have me?"

Alexis laughed gently, amazed at how perceptive her child was becoming.

"In part, little one.  There are many reasons why a woman can love a man.  Things like they can look in your eyes and see things no one else can see.  They can make you laugh at the silliest things that wouldn't normally be silly if they weren't around.  Also, just being with them makes you a better person.  Honey, there are just too many things involved in why we love who we love to be able to explain it with words."

"Like when we say there's not enough words in the whole world for how much you and me love each other?"

"You and I, Kristina.  And yes, you're right.  That's what I'm talking about, but between a man and a woman there's so much more stuff you have to add into the mix for it all to make sense."

Kristina thought for another moment then reached up and placed each of her hands on the sides of her mother's cheeks.

"Then why did you leave, mom?  Why didn't you stay with Cameron?"

Alexis raised her arms and pulled her child into a hug gently coaxing her head down on to her shoulder so she wouldn't see the tears her questions provoked.

"Because things are not always as simple as we would like them to be, honey.  Grown-ups tend to let a lot of garbage pile up in their heads and it often blurs the truth.  I didn't know I loved Cameron until after we moved here.  It doesn't mean that I will never see him again, it just means that it's not meant to be right now.  In time, if he and I are really supposed to be together, then we will be."

She barely heard her child's muffled voice.

"But, he doesn't know where you are, mom."

Squeezing her tighter and caressing her back soothingly, Alexis quietly replied… "It doesn't matter, little one, I know where he is."

Kristina suddenly sat up and looked her mother dead in the eye.

"But, he's not my father, is he?"

Alexis' heart stilled knowing her daughter was not nearly finished processing everything she was hearing.  But, her quick intuitive mind was definitely processing more than her mother was comfortable with.  How am I going to satisfy her curiosity enough to put her questions on hold for a while longer?  Studying her daughter's face she finally smiled.

"No, Kristina.  He is not your father.  But, he has a son named Zander."

"Zander?  What a funny name."

"I guess it does sound a little funny.  It's more of a nickname than his real name."  
  
"What's his real name?"

"Alexander."

"That's a better name.  Do you know him too?"

"Yes.  I know him very well.  He is a very special person and means a lot to me.  He and I were friends long before you were born actually."

"Did you know Cameron that long?"

"No.  Cameron didn't come into the picture until it was almost time for you to be born."

"They weren't together?"

"No, honey.  Zander was a troubled boy when I met him and I helped him out of a few rough spots.  His dad didn't move to Port Charles until about five years later."

"Is Zander the boy in your picture?"

"Yes.  That is a picture of Cameron and Zander.  They wanted me to have a picture of the two of them so they sent me one."

"If they sent you a picture then they have to know where you are?"

"Sweetheart, Cameron gave the picture to Alice to bring to me when she came to live with us.  Now are you about through with all your questions?  It's getting close to bedtime for you."

Kristina thought for a moment.  She knew that once their truth session was over she would have to keep her word and not ask any more questions about her father for at least two years.  So the last question had to be a good one.

"Just one more question, mom?"

"Alright, one more question then it's off to bed with you, deal?"

"Deal."

Kristina rolled her question around in her head a moment making sure she had it right before she asked it.  She was pushing it a bit, but figured she could get away with it since her mother was probably real ready for this whole question time to be over.  

"Did you and my father love each other and does Cameron love you?"

"That's two questions, Kristina."

"Well not if you look at it my way."

"Your way?"

"It's just one question about love."

"You're tap dancing awful close to a case load of semantics, smarty."

"There's that word again.  I know, I know.  Go look it up.  I'll look it up tomorrow, mom.  So are you going to answer the question?"

"If I do, you'll promise to leave it alone like you agreed to earlier?"

"Keeping my word is part of my code.  I have to keep my word if I want people to know I can be trusted."

A cold chill ran down Alexis' back.  That damn code.  Where in the hell did Kristina pick that up?  Automatically knowing it was TK Redmond.

"Kristina, what do you know about codes?"

"Oh, Tikki and me decided we needed a book of rules for how we wanted to be treated and how we treat everybody else and we call it our 'Code of Honor' book.  Like the marines have!  And you didn't answer my question."

Alexis relaxed back onto the swing again and gently smiled.

"You're right, I didn't.  Okay, the first answer to your two-part question is yes, I loved your father and the second answer to your two-part question is, I don't know.  It's been nine years since I've seen Cameron.  I will tell you that he loved me nine years ago.  That's the best I can do.  Now, off with you.  Get ready for bed and I'll be in to tuck you in a few minutes."

Kristina immediately scooted down and raced toward the door suddenly stopping with her hand on the handle.  She turned her head and curiously looked at her mother.

"Another question, Kristina?" Alexis sighed.

"Just a little one."

"Am I going to regret giving you permission to ask just one more 'little one'?"

"I don't think so.  It really is just a little one."

"I'll agree to just one more 'little' question as long as you understand I have the right to deny you an answer.  Fair enough?"

"Fair enough.  Will I ever have as many secrets rolling around in my head as you do, mom?"

Alexis couldn't help but laugh at the colorfully perceptive mind of her daughter.

"I hope not, sweetheart.  I certainly do hope not.  Now go, before Alice finds out you're still awake at this hour."

"You two don't fool me a bit, mom.  When she reaches her end with me, she calls you and when you reach your end with me, you call her.  I so have you guys figured out."

Alexis jumped forward as if to catch her with some sort of discipline in mind and laughed instead; sitting back down as her daughter quickly slipped through the door.

Skipping to her room Kristina laughed delightedly, proud of herself for getting her mother to finally laugh as if she didn't have a huge hole in her heart.

Running her hands up and down her face a couple of times to ease the tension, Alexis sighed with relief that the inquisition was over.  Hopefully she wouldn't be called upon now for at least two years to open up doors that needed to remain closed for a while longer.

"How did I do?"

She glanced toward the open window, knowing Alice was still sitting at the desk after listening to the whole exchange between mother and daughter.  Even now, nine years later, Alice still eavesdropped on all the goings-on in the house.  Every so often Alexis would call her on it, but Alice would simply shrug her shoulders and walk away mumbling, "How else am I gonna know what's going on and how to deal with that child.  She's too much like her mother and I gotta have some way of keeping up."  Alexis usually shook her head and let it go because she knew that Alice had a point.

"She folded too easy.  She let you off the hook way too easy.  Something's up her sleeve.  You know what's going to happen next, don't you?"

"You're probably going to be corralled sometime in the near future.  And you're right, she's not satisfied with the lack of answers.  Alice, sometimes I think that child is too smart for her own good."

"Yeah, sometimes I think she's smarter than both of us put together.  Think I'll turn in too.  It's been a long day.  Night, Alexis."

"Night, Alice.  See you in the morning."

Minutes later after tucking Kristina in, Alexis walked out toward the beach and sat down to listen to the waves roll in and settle her thoughts before heading back to contact her brother, completely oblivious to a small child sneaking back into the living room to place a secret call to her best friend.

"Tikki, it's me.  I have something I have to do for my mom, but she can't know anything about it.  But, I need your help.  Can I come over tomorrow?  Alice can't know about it either…. Well of course it's a secret mission.  What else would it be with me hiding on the floor under the table talking to you while my mom is out on the beach and Alice could walk in any minute? … Good.  Thanks, Tikki.  See you tomorrow."

Hanging up the phone, Kristina ran back to her room, quiet as possible and sat down at her desk pulling a sheet of paper out and picked up her favorite pen.  In perfect script she wrote down two words then folded the paper and hid it under the other papers in her desk.  Jumping back into bed she pulled the covers up to her chin with a smile on her face.

"Don't worry, mom.  It might take a while but, I'll take care of everything and you won't ever have to cry again.  I just have to find out where Port Charles is now."


	12. Chapter 12

**__**

Chapter 12

"Tikki, I want to find out what scared my mom so much that she moved us all here and away from somebody she loves. And I need two heads to put a plan together. And since you're older than me, you can probably think of things I'd never think of, so will you help me?"

Kristina and TK were sprawled across his bed whispering back and forth so that Gale wouldn't over hear them. TK smiled indulgently at Kristina. He was glad for the 4 years that separated their ages. Kristina could be quite a handful when she wanted something, but he always seemed to be able to settle her down when she went over the top about something. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Kristina Davis. She was his sounding board as much as he was hers and she was more mature at 10 than any of the other girls he knew at school. It meant a great deal to him that she always stood on his side no matter what he was facing. From the moment she began to walk she championed him in everything he did. He was always the 'hero' in her eyes and it always encouraged him… made him want to be the best he could be. 

"I take it your mom has no clue that you're even curious about her past, right?" 

"Well, she knows I'm curious about my father but nothing else. Tikki, please help me do this. I want my mom to be happy like she always made me and I can't do it without your help. Please Tikki, will you help me?"

"What if what you find out… that whatever it is, it's something so bad that you stir it up all over again and bring it to the island? That wouldn't make your mom very happy, now would it? What are you really up to, K?"

"No, she wouldn't be very happy at all so we're going to have to be extra careful. How do we go about starting?"

"Not so fast, K? You didn't answer my question."

"Ok. Ok. My mom loves a man named Cameron. He is not my father. So I think it would be smart to find out why she moved away before I tried to find him."

"That's a good idea. Okay, I think the first thing we need to do is contact the library in the town where she lived. Do you know where that was?"

"All I know is the name of the town is Port Charles and I know that my mom used to be a big time lawyer there. I don't know anymore than that though."

"Not a lot to go on, K. Grab the keyboard and we'll look up all the towns named Port Charles in the United States and see what we come up with."

TK quickly set up an online search on his computer then sat back and waited until the search provided an answer.

"Well, that's good news. There's only one. Let's see where it is. Look, K. It's outside New York. Okay, first thing we do is search every part of the site for anything that could clue us in to its history and anything that might look weird."

After an hour of reading through the site, the two were no closer to any answers than when they started.

"Let's try another search, K. How about searching for the most important people of Port Charles? If your mom was a big time lawyer then maybe she'll show up in that kind of search. Well do a search of the best lawyers of New York. If she was really good then she should show up there and it'll reference where she lived just in case somebody needed her for a certain type of service. But, there's another word I should use in the search…" Muttering to himself he reached for his Thesaurus. "It's a bigger word than important. Here it is, K. We want to see who the most 'influential' people are."

Hitting the search button… they waited a minute and the screen suddenly popped up a group of photos. Kristina suddenly shrieked excitedly.

"LOOK TIKKI. It's mom…"

"Shhhhh, K. My mother will hear you and be still you're killing my leg. Wait a minute… something's wrong. Look at this date, K. This site hasn't been updated in a long time. Whoa… I've seen this icon before. Oh hell."

"What's wrong, Tikki."

"Someone's put an identity trap on this site. If I click on any of these pictures someone will be able to tap into my location. Kristina, I have to get out of this site."

With that TK shut his system down all the time trying to calm his friend who was getting quite angry with him.

"Listen Kristina. Someone who set that site up was either paid to set a trap on it or they did it themselves. With your mom's picture in the middle of all those others… what if whoever did it is looking for your mother? If I hit that picture they could find her, is that what you want?"

"But what if it was Cameron, Tikki?"

"And what if it wasn't? Are you willing to take a chance and set your mother up to some kind of danger maybe?"

Kristina closed her eyes and let go of an exaggerated sigh before answering.

"No, I don't want mom in danger. But, what are we going to do now?"

"K, don't you think your mom did what she did for a reason? Can't you let this go?"  
  
"No, Tikki. I can't. I want to know now more than ever."

"Why, K? There's something else going on here, tell me what you're really up to."

Leaning toward TK, Kristina lay her head against his shoulder.

"I have to know if my father did something bad to my mom, Tikki."

"And what if he did? What can you do about it? That was over nine years ago?"

"I don't know what I'll do. But I just have to know."

TK looked down at Kristina and knew he wouldn't be able to talk her out of trying to get the information she wanted.

"Okay, but if we are going to do this… we have to do it my way and you have to be patient. First thing we need to do is make sure no one traced me and the only way to do that is by sitting tight and not make any more searches for a while. I think it would be best to wait at least 6 months and then we'll start again."

Seeing the unhappiness cross his friend's face, he dropped his arm down across her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Kristina, we can't take a chance of bringing what's in Port Charles here. If we're not careful then you and your mom could end up having to move again. I don't want you to move. I kinda like having you around."

Kristina looked up quickly at TK to see if he was teasing her. She was familiar with the look on his face. It was the one he always wore just before he set off to take care of someone that was being mean to her. TK wasn't playing, he was worried.

"Okay, Tikki. I'll do what you say. But, what do we do next when we're sure no body saw us looking at mom's picture?"

"We go about it the hard way. We start with the newspaper and start requesting archived issues. I'll ask for random papers; just pick certain days out of a year and we'll see what happens. Hopefully we'll find articles where your mom made the news and maybe that will give us enough to go on. I can't decide though if we should start at the library or not. The newspaper could be too public. But, we have time to think about it and decide what to do. Now don't worry, K. We'll find the answers you're looking for. You just make sure that you keep your eyes and ears open for anything that looks weird at your house."

"Okay, Tikki. I better go before mom comes looking for me. See ya later."

***************

**__**

Nine months later

"Kristina, TK's on the phone."

"Thanks mom."

Kristina ran into the living room and took the receiver from her mom.

"Don't be too long, Kristina. Lunch is almost ready."

"I'll be right there, mom. Hi TK… what's up?"

"Meet me at the cave in a couple of hours."

"How come?"

"Just meet me there, K."

"Okay, see you in a couple of hours.

************

"Here sit down, K."

TK placed a blanket down on the sand to keep them from getting wet from the dampness of the cave floor.

"You sounded serious on the phone, TK. Are you in trouble of some kind?"

"No, I'm not in trouble. Look, are you sure you want to keep up with this thing we started about your dad?"

"You know I do, TK. Why? Did you find something? You haven't said anything in a long time about it. Did you find out anything about my father?"

"Remember that vacation I took a couple of months ago with my Uncle Kale?"

"Yeah, you were gone a long time."

"That's because we did a bit of traveling. Remember when I told you that my uncle was going to take me to visit a few colleges."

"Yes. And I don't want to talk about that. It makes me sad that you are going to leave me."

"Ok, we won't talk about it after today. Anyway we went to New York to check in on a couple of colleges and since we were so close… I talked him into taking me to see PCU. That stands for Port Charles University. I told him that I would like to check out a university that wasn't in the middle of a large city and see if I like it more. He bought it. So we went to Port Charles."

Kristina's eyes were wide as she listened to TK. When Thomas Kale reached the age of 15 he suddenly found being called 'Tikki' a bit too uncomfortable around his friends so from then on he asked Kristina to call him TK.

"Did you find anything, TK? Did you find out who my father is?"

"No, but I did find out some stuff. K, I think you need to stop with all the questions. Just leave it alone until your mom thinks you're old enough to explain things to you."

Kristina stood up abruptly putting her hands on her hips and stared at TK as if he had lost his mind.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding K. I think you need to stop with the questions."

"You're trying to protect me from something. That's why you're backing out on me, isn't it?"

"I'm not backing out on you, K. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"What are you keeping from me, TK? I have a right to know if it's about my mom. You told me you wouldn't ever keep secrets from me. Remember?"

"I remember, K, but I think this is a bit too much for you."

"You don't have the right to tell me what's too much. Now spill it, TK. Tell me what you found out."

TK dropped his head and reached behind him pulling from behind his back a handful of paper with copied articles on them.

"I made all these copies at the library in Port Charles while my uncle was looking the university over. Never mind how I accomplished that one, I thought I was a goner for sure a couple of times over that one. Anyway, most of these stories are about your mother and a guy named Sonny Corinthos. She was his lawyer for a few years and some pretty bad stuff happened during that time. For about two years, just about every time you see him in the paper, you see her. There's an article about them being shot at and there's one about a bomb going off destroying their apartments. Then there's one about a debate when she ran for public office and he showed up. The paper said there was something about a rumor that she was more than just his lawyer. You know, like they were a couple for a while or something. But, in comes this Corinthos guy and denies it all. K, if he and your mom did get together then it wasn't a very smart thing for your mom to do."

Kristina immediately became angry.

"What do you mean? My mom is the smartest person I know. What are you getting at, TK?"

"I'm just saying he's a bad guy to be around, K. Here look at this article it tells a lot about who the guy is and what he does."

Kristina took the paper from TK and began to read. There was a lot she didn't understand, but definitely enough for her to see why TK was so concerned.

"TK, you don't think he's my…"

"I don't know, K. But, there's something else I brought back. I also checked things out over the last year to see if this guy cleaned his act up any and this is what I found."

Kristina took the second page from him and began to read it as well. The more she read the more frightened and horrified she became. Finally looking up, she met her friend's eyes. It couldn't be. Surely her mom didn't have anything to do with this guy. She suddenly shoved the pages toward TK.

"Throw it all away, TK. Make sure it's all gone. I… I don't want to ever talk about it again."

TK reached for the pages she still held and stopped as she jerked away from him separating the two pages and giving him only one back.

"No, I want to keep this one."

"Why, K? Why do you have to keep that one?"

"To remind me how dumb it is to go messing with stuff I shouldn't mess with."

"Are you okay, Kristina? That's an awful lot I just dumped on you."

"I'm fine, TK. I'm just fine. Let's get out of here. I want to go home."

As Kristina turned to go, TK reached out and caught her arm pulling one more page from behind him.

"K, I found out something else while I was in Port Charles."

"I don't want to know anymore, TK. Just leave me alone, okay."

"Okay, but I think you'll regret not looking at this."

Kristina looked back over her shoulder at the page TK was holding out to her. She looked at him suspiciously.

  
"Is it more bad stuff, TK?"

"No, K. This is the rest of what you wanted to know."

Kristina walked back toward him and slowly reached toward the paper. Drawing it back to her she looked down into a kind and familiar face.

"It's him. It's Cameron Lewis. Where did you get this?"

TK listened to the sadness in her voice and knew that all the stuff about Sonny Corinthos was overshadowing the fact that he was able to accomplish for her what originally started the whole mess.

"Turn it over, K."

Turning it over, she found an address printed at the top of the page in TK's writing.

"What's this?"

"His address. He still lives in Port Charles and he works at 'General Hospital' as a psychiatrist."

Kristina nodded and folded the paper then stuffed it into the back pocket of her jeans before turning back toward the entrance to the cave.

"Kristina, wait a minute. Don't go yet."

TK stood up and walked over to his friend and put his arm around her.

"You don't look too good, little bit. Talk to me, Kristina. Tell me what you're thinking about."

It had been a long time since TK called her 'little bit'. Hearing that particular nickname told her that he was more than a little worried about her. And because she didn't want him to worry, she told him what she was thinking.

"I'm scared that I started something that's going to someday hurt all of us. And I'm mad at myself for asking you to help me in the first place, but most of all… I think I'm scared that he is my father and if he is then I have to stop wishing that my father will come find me some day. If he is my father… then I know why mom left Port Charles. You know, all this makes me understand why mom lost it so bad when she caught you and me with those water pistols. I can't ever let her know what I know now. It will hurt her too much. I messed up big time, Tikki."

And he understood how hurt and afraid she was by the way she reverted back to calling him 'Tikki', the name she gave him as a baby. TK put both arms around Kristina and hugged her tight.

"We didn't know what we were going to get, K. This is all my fault, not yours. I'm the oldest; I should have put a stop to it a long time ago. I shouldn't have told you any of this and I can just imagine what your mom will do to me if she ever finds out it was me that brought all this stuff home. But, don't worry. We'll get through all this. It's always been you and me standing together, K. You've got me and I've got you. No matter what happens, that's not going to change."

He felt her arms go around his waist as a shudder passed through her small body and at that moment he suddenly felt the weight of responsibility hit him with a force that would have sent him to his knees if he hadn't been holding on to Kristina. He did this to her and he had to find a way to make it better for her. Never in his life had he regretted anything he'd done before as he did now in bringing her news that an almost 12 year old was just too young for. He bent his head to the side of hers and whispered.

"I'm so sorry, K. I'm sorry for putting all of this on you."

"It's okay, TK. Neither one of us would be in this mess if I had just listened to my mom when she asked me to wait. It's my fault too."

Stepping away from him, she forced a smile to hopefully take the frown off his face then turned toward the cave entrance again.

"I think I'm going to go find mom. I just want to tell her I love her and hug her. Can we come back here, tomorrow? Maybe talk things over some after I have time to think. You have to promise me none of this will every leave the cave, TK. Promise me you will never say anything about any of this to my mom."

"Whatever you say, K. If you need me, just call."

"Thanks, TK. For everything you did for me. You really are my best friend."

Watching her walk away, TK grunted in disgust. 

"Yeah right. Great best friend I am. You are such an idiot Thomas Kale Redmond. And just how in the hell are you going to fix this one?"


	13. Chapter 13

**__**

Chapter 13

"Alice, where's mom?"

"She's at her desk, Kristina. I think she's working on a consulting project, so she might not want to be disturbed."

"Thanks, Alice."

Kristina didn't care what her mother was working on. She needed to see her; needed to feel the strength of her mother's arms around her. Walking into the living room she looked toward the desk and found her mother bent over writing on a yellow pad. Stopping beside her, Kristina put her hand on her mother's shoulder and leaned against her arm.

"Hi, mom."

When her mother looked up at her with the same love and joy that she grew up every day of her life with Kristina felt her whole body warm. There was nothing in the world more special than her mother's 'Kristina' smile. A smile so special that it was only given to her.

"Hi, sweetheart."

How many nights did she fall asleep with that voice ringing in her ears? So soft and soothing; quiet and full of everything that a child could possibly want. Kristina was close to tears because of what she had done. She loved her mother so much. All she wanted was for her mother to be just as happy as she was.

"I love you, mom."

Alexis put her pen down and turned toward her daughter and pulled her close.

"I love you too, Kristina. So what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? You know the last time you told me you loved me like this was because you were afraid I was mad at you for something. I'm not mad at you, honey. But, maybe I should ask you if there's something you want to tell me."

Kristina suddenly threw her arms around her mother's neck and squeezed as tight as she could whispering into her ear.

"No, I just wanted to hug you."

Feeling her mother's arms embrace her, Kristina knew for certain she was where she always wanted to be when she found herself in trouble. Nothing else in the world could compare with being inside the comfort of her mother's arms.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Alexis could feel a small tremble run through her daughter's little body and she was suddenly more than a little concerned. When she didn't get a response, she reached up and tried to pry Kristina's arms from around her neck so she could see her face. At her daughter's strangled cry, she immediately wrapped her arms around her again holding her close as fear rose within her.

"Kristina, you're scaring me. Honey, tell me what's wrong. I can't help unless I know what's going on."

Turning her head to nestle into her mother's neck, Kristina began to slowly find her way back to the feeling of being safe… of knowing that no matter what, she would always be loved and taken care of by her mother.

"There really isn't anything wrong, mom. I was thinking about how it's always you right there when I need something. You kiss me awake every morning and I go to sleep every night the same way. I don't think any kid ever had a mom as great as mine. Why do you love me so much, mom?"

Alexis felt her own tears begin to make their way down her cheeks at the words of her daughter. She knew something was terribly wrong, but also knew from experience that it would be useless to try and force the problem out of her. Kristina needed something else from her in that moment. She stood and lifted the child into her arms groaning with exaggeration at her weight. It would take a bit of time for Alexis to remember the last time Kristina allowed herself to be picked up 'like a baby'.

"You're almost too big for me to pick you up, Kristina. What am I going to do when I can't pick my baby up anymore because she suddenly grew up when I wasn't looking."

Alexis waited for at least a small laugh from the child in her arms and when she only received a tightening of her small arms around her neck, she strengthened her hold on her daughter and walked out onto the veranda to sit down on the swing. Settling them comfortably, Alexis thought a moment before answering Kristina's question.

"Do you know, I never realized I could love anyone as much as I love you until you were born? You were a very special miracle for me. I use to watch other mothers with their little girls in the park and I just couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a daughter of my very own. You see, my work was always so important to me that it just took all of my time. But, everything changed the moment I found out you were coming to share your life with me. I fell in love with you the moment I knew you were real. Everything in my life changed. I simply couldn't believe I was going to be blessed with a beautiful child and when I first saw you in the hospital, I can't begin to tell you what my heart felt like. From that moment on I knew that for the rest of my life I would do whatever I had to for you to have a happy life. So that's what I've tried to do, Kristina. I think it would break my heart if you were to ever doubt how much I love you."

Kristina withdrew her arms from around her mother's neck and placed them on her shoulders. She could see and feel the worry in her mom and wanted to take it away. So, forgetting everything she learned from TK, she set about doing what she could to 'help' her mother just as her mother always helped her.

"That's the one thing I can't doubt, mom. It's just not possible **_now_**. Do you know that none of my friends at school talk about their moms and they look at me like I'm weird or something when I do. But, I can't help it. You're inside of me and sometimes it just feels like I'm gonna bust if I don't say something. Like when you were just at your desk. I just wanted to tell you I love you, not because something is wrong, but because something's right. Because it's always been just me and you with Alice on the side. Does that make any sense?"

'_Now_.' The simple word jumped out at Alexis screaming to be heard. Something happened that somehow shook Kristina's foundation. Looking into her daughter's eyes, Alexis found a new resolve in her child that had not been there before. She also could see that Kristina, in her own way, was simply asking Alexis to agree with her and let everything else go. Alexis smiled at her daughter knowing her words were true, but also knowing that Kristina was doing her best to 'help' settle her mother's worry by sidetracking her so she wouldn't ask any more questions. 'For now, my little one,' Alexis thought... 'I'll leave it alone for now, but we are not finished with this'.

"It makes perfect sense, Kristina. I don't think I could have said it better myself. Now, tell me what you've been up to today. You've been outside my radar range for a while and I was beginning to miss you."

"I was just out with TK for a while. Nothing special! Mom?" 

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can we just sit here for a while before you have to go back to work?"

"Whatever you want, sweetheart. We'll stay here as long as you want? Today I'm making you an 'honorary' boss. Your every wish is my command." Alexis hesitated a moment before adding, "every wish that is within reason, I might add. I'm simply not going to try playing soccer with you again."

Alexis breathed a sigh of relief at the laughter that burst from her daughter. Whatever it was that was bothering Kristina, it seemed that she was willing to put it aside for a while in favor of just spending some special time with her mother. But, Alexis was not going to let it go. She wanted to know what storm had come into her daughter's life to send her running into the safety of her mother's arms. What Alexis didn't know was that it would be a long time before she found out the secret that her daughter now held. Her heart broke as the thought grew larger until it couldn't be ignored. 'You are too young to begin collecting secrets, my little one.'

From that day on, Alexis noticed a change in Kristina. She became more serious… more focused on the things that would make her a better person. On many occasions, Alexis would turn suddenly and find her daughter watching her, how she handled the every day events of life… even as far as how she chose her words to relay her specific thoughts. Barbie dolls and games of childhood, well worn stuffed animals that found themselves clutched tighter through the pain of first teeth, the challenge of first words, potty training, her first school day and the pettiness of little boys who simply wanted attention were discarded. All the comforts of leaving one stage of life to forge ahead with determination into the next slowly found their way into the back of her closet. All except one… her beloved lamb that she could never remember being without. The questions and concerns regarding her father never came up again. All of which now caused an almost daily conversation between Alexis and Alice. They both knew something unpleasant had happened to Kristina, but neither one of them knew what that something was. Kristina simply walked away from her childhood one day and set about the task of growing up. And in the midst of it all, she became very protective of her mother. At the merest hint of someone upsetting her mother or getting angry with her, Kristina because incensed and launched herself into the middle of the fray. Alexis would have to physically pull her daughter away from the offending person. It was a daily challenge to keep up with the determined and precociously wise Kristina Davis.


	14. Chapter 14

**__**

Chapter 14

Eighteen months passed and no more was said between mother and daughter regarding the issues that still played an important part in Kristina's daily life. Kristina spent her days studying and learning all that she could preparing herself for when it came time for her to enter college. Her career choice was decided, but no one knew her choice yet. No one knew that the hours she spent at the library were filled with everything she could find about law. There wasn't a great deal she could understand yet at her age, but just running her hands through the books and over the pages of the books made her feel like she was doing all that she could to help get her closer to what she wanted most. She wanted to be a lawyer like her mom, but more than anything she wanted to be able to help protect all of them in case any anything should happen if Sonny Corinthos did turn out to be her father. 

With the exception of her continued role as the leading scorer and best forward of the soccer league, Kristina withdrew her membership in every club except one. She remained in the 'Debate Club' as it was the only one that she thought would help serve her in the future. There was one other reason Kristina spent so much time in the library. It was an on-going project that began in a cave months before. Unbeknownst to anyone, Kristina began to research anything having to do with mobsters, crime lords, and anything related to such in New York and it's surrounding areas. From the copies she acquired from TK, she started with the words she didn't understand and researched them until she knew exactly what they meant and slowly built for herself a picture of who Sonny Corinthos was. The more she learned the more she became afraid of the possibility that he could be her father. And if he was, why did her mom love him enough to have a child by him?

********************

Cameron Lewis slid his jacket off his shoulders and tossed it over the back of the couch then picked up the mail from his desk and settled down into his recliner letting go of an exhausted sigh. It had been a long tiring day and all he wanted was just to sit for a while. Looking down at the mail in his lap, he grimaced wanting nothing more than to toss it all in the trash without looking at it. If it weren't for the small lingering hope that kept him getting out of bed every morning, he would have. Sighing heavily he picked up the stack and began to sort through it. He frowned when he came upon an envelope with a foreign stamp attached to the corner. He didn't recognize the city of origin, nor did he recognize the handwriting. Tearing it open he looked toward the bottom of the single page letter and his breath exploded from him leaving him lighted headed and gasping for air.

Tearing his eyes from the simple script, he looked back up to the top of the letter and began to read slowly.

__

"Dear Dr. Lewis,

My name is Kristina Davis and I am writing to you because you have been part of my life since before I can remember. I guess I should probably tell you that you probably know my mother more than you know me. And the only way I know you is because my mom told me what you did for us the day I was born. I must thank you for saving my life. The most important thing I want to thank you for is for giving me the chance to grow up with my mother. I guess if anyone else had been my mom it wouldn't have mattered so much that you saved us both. It's hard to try to explain my mom to people because the world just doesn't have words that can explain how much I love her and what she means to me. So you'll just have to take my word that my mom did her best for me.

But, there are some things that I just can't do for my mom. I would like to make her as happy as she's made me, but I think I need help to do that. You see, there is a picture on my mom's table beside her bed that is so worn and faded it needs to be replaced and I was hoping you would help me replace it. I know you haven't seen her in almost twelve years and you probably don't really want to help me, but that picture means a lot to my mom.

She told me once that you used to love her. Do you still love my mom, Dr. Lewis? Would it help you answer if you know my mom loves you? I want my mom to be happy more than any thing else I've ever wanted and I won't do anything until I know you won't hurt her. You can't find me by trying to find out where this letter came from. It's been all over the place and I'm not sure it will actually get to you with the many places it's been to keep anyone from finding us. I don't want anyone to find us unless they want my mom to be as happy as I want her to be.

I guess I don't have to tell you that she doesn't know about this letter. See, I have to keep her just as safe as she has always kept me. If you want to answer my letter then you can write me at the address below and if I think it's okay, then I will write you back. If you do still love my mom, then please don't try to mess this all up by trying to find us. When I know for sure that you won't hurt us, I'll let you know where we are and you can come see my mom. She still misses you and I hear her call for you sometimes late at night. Don't hurt my mom, Dr. Lewis. She needs someone she can trust. Are you someone she can trust? Can I trust you?

With best regards,

Kristina Davis

Cameron brought the letter up and lay it against his heart as tears slowly slipped down his cheeks. Kristina… old enough to take the step her mother couldn't… wouldn't. Wanting to know if she… if _they_ could trust him. Lifting the letter he read it again savoring every word. Kristina… the child she fought for… month after month… gave up her life for… and finally escaped with. It was the child who would finally lead him to her again. Alexis… when did you know? When did you finally admit what neither of us could face to face? 

Cameron stood and walked back to his desk and picked up the phone dialing quickly a number that was burned into his memory; a number that he would never be able to forget. The number of the private investigator he hired the day Alexis walked away. Hearing his contact answer the line, Cameron forced his voice into a defeated weary sound.

"Jack, I have to stop the search. I have to give this… her up. She doesn't want to be found and I have to face it and let it go. I don't have the money to keep look…" allowing his voice to break Cameron paused before finishing the call. "Thank you for indulging me so long. If I decide later to start again… can I call you?"

Ending the call, Cameron sat down and reached for pen and paper. With a smile that had been absent too long, he began to write.

__

"Dear Kristina,

I cannot tell you how happy you have made me by writing and letting me know that you and your mother are safe. I have been so worried about both of you. After I read your letter I called my private investigator and told him that I would not need him any longer. I made him think that I was giving up searching for you. I have been looking for you and your mother ever since she left Port Charles. I miss her and I miss you. To answer your question… yes Kristina. I love your mother very much. But, you must know that she is not the only Davis woman I love. I love you too, Kristina.

I don't think I should send another picture yet. If I did you might have to do some explaining that you're not quite ready for yet. If things work out the way I hope, maybe we'll be able to give your mother the real thing rather than just a picture.

I think it best that we not continue to write to each other. We don't want to leave a paper trail that someone might find. If you are satisfied with my letter, then I will give you a phone number you can call that will not be able to be easily traced. But, we must be very careful. I will also send a cell phone with my letter so that you can use it to call me. That way there won't be a phone bill for you to explain and the address for the phone will read Port Charles. You have my word as a gentleman that I will not try to find you. Knowing your mother as I do, I know I can trust you to do what you think is best. From your letter it sounds like you are very much like your mother. That makes me very happy. I would like to write more but I am so eager to mail this letter that I can't think of anything else to say except I will try to be patient and wait for your call.

I love you both,

Cameron 

Refolding the letter, Kristina looked up into the eyes of the man she grew up with. "Thank you, TK. Thank you for bringing this to me. Here would you like to read the letter?"

Thomas Kale Redmond was now 17 years old and in his first year of college at Columbia University in New York. There were many reasons he chose to attend Columbia, but none of them more important than the one standing beside him. The moment he realized the import of all the information he brought back with him to give to her that day in the cave, he swore to himself he would somehow make it up to her… somehow put the light back into her eyes that he took away from her that day. This time when he came home to visit, he brought more news for her. This time he hoped he could give her something that would help her achieve what she most wanted. Taking the letter from her, he quickly read it and handed it back to her.

"What do you think, TK? Do you think it would be okay to call him?"

TK smiled and threw his arm across Kristina's shoulders.

"Well as a personal friend of Dr. Cameron Lewis, I think it would be perfectly fine for you to call him. If fact, I recommend it."

Kristina stepped back and turned to face him with her jaw hanging wide open.

"K, it's not a particularly wise thing to keep your mouth that open in this cave. Bugs or something might fly in."

She slammed her mouth shut simultaneously slapping at him.

"How do you know him, TK? What have you done?" A thought suddenly occurred to her. "You didn't tell him…? TK, please tell me you didn't…"

Instantly understanding her fear he reached toward her and pulled her to him.

"No, K. I didn't. He doesn't know that you and I know each other. I wouldn't do that to you. Why would you even think I would do something like that?"

Wrapping her arms around his waist she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, TK. I just panicked a little."

"I'd say you panicked a lot to think I would turn you in to anyone."

Pulling away from him she grinned and began to reel him in like she always did if she thought he was angry with her.

"I know. It was real dumb for me to even think that since you would never do anything to hurt me. You've been taking care of me all my life and I wouldn't know what I would have done without you always around to talk to about everything."

"Yea. Yea. Yea. I know the routine. I'm the great protector… the best friend… the best soccer coach… Yea. Yea. Yea. You can stop now, K. I'm not mad at you."

She smiled sheepishly as she looked up at him, then grew serious again.

"So just how do you know Dr. Lewis then?"

"Columbia has a great psychiatry program, and one of their projects is to send students out to interview psychiatrists on different subjects. I chose Dr. Lewis. When he asked me why I didn't choose anyone in New York, I told him that I was using the project to get outside the chaos of New York for a while. Since I grew up in a small town, it stands to reason that I would miss the small town life. He kind of took me in and I've spent a few weekends with him now."

"He's a psychiatrist? How did you know that?"

"Just a little detective work. Playing all those mystery games with you when we were growing up turned out to be quite helpful. Would you believe he has a picture of you and your mom by his bed?"

Kristina looked up into TK's eyes with surprise and astonishment. "He does?"

"Yeah. You do happen to be a little baby in the picture, but still… at least you know you guys still mean a lot to him. So when are you going to call him, little bit?"

Kristina blushed at the favored nickname and reached down to pick up the cell phone that was still in the box. 

"Do you think it would be okay to call him right now?"

Looking at his watch, TK smiled.

"I think it would be fine, it's not too late in Port Charles yet."

"What do I say to him, TK?"

TK watched his friend begin to fidget restlessly. Taking her hand he pulled her down to sit beside him.

"Hey, he's just a regular guy who has spent the last 12 years looking for someone he love's very much. K, he will be happy to hear from you. Just talk to him like you would me or Alice."

"You really think it's a good idea to call him? In his letter, it sounds like he wants to keep our secret as much as we do. Do you trust him, TK? Can we?"

TK lifted his arm and set it down across Kristina's shoulder and pulled her to him. She needed to be reassured and it was the one thing he could do for her and know that everything would still be okay after she made the call.

"Call him, K. I trust him and you can trust him. He wants to talk to you. How would you feel if you spent a major portion of your life searching for someone and then finally have a chance to connect with them again? Don't make him suffer anymore, K. Let him at least go to sleep tonight with your voice in his ear. He's hurting and you can make it stop. Call him."

Hearing the intensity in TK's voice, Kristina looked up quickly and stared into her friends eyes. What she saw settled her apprehension more than any words could have. TK liked Cameron Lewis a great deal but more than that… he respected him.

"Ok, TK. I'll call him."

Lifting the phone she clutched tightly in her hand, Kristina began to dial the number off the letter that TK held up in front of her. When she finished she put the phone to her ear and waited while all the butterflies in the world held court in her stomach. And just as she was about to hang up she heard the sound of a deep resonant voice answer.

"_Hello…_ "


	15. Chapter 15

****

**_Chapter 15_**

Kristina froze at the sound of the voice on the other end of the line.  Her breath caught in her throat.  All of a sudden the weight of what she was actually doing came crashing down on her.  How many times did her mother ask her to wait for the answers to questions that plagued her since the age of seven.  Guilt washed over her.  Drawing a deep breath she began to pull the phone away from her ear to disconnect the call.  A voice so soft and full of concern stopped her.

"Kristina?  Is that you?  It's Cameron, honey.  Talk to me."

Drawing her other hand up to help cradle the phone to her ear she quickly swallowed a soft sob that threatened to escape.  How could a stranger's voice sound so familiar and so safe?  She looked up toward TK for help.  She wanted desperately to talk to Cameron, but the sound of her mother's voice still rang in her ears asking her to wait.  Her head fell and she reached out to grab hold of TK as she heard the voice once again.

"Kristina, your mother doesn't have to know we've talked.  I understand that you're probably feeling a lot of guilt about going behind her back on something this big.  That's okay.  If you would rather we forget the whole thing we can… I just want to know if you and your mother are okay.  I've waited a long time just to hear some word of you both.  If you want to, you can destroy the phone after we talk for a few minutes, but please just let me know if you are happy and well."

TK watched Kristina's face and understood what was going on deep inside of her.  She was scared… afraid that she was making a mistake… afraid of what her mother would say if she found out… afraid to hope.  Pulling his arm from her grasp he put it around her and pulled her closer leaning down slightly to whisper in her ear.

"Just talk to him, K.  Say 'hi' or something.  He'll take if from there.  Trust me, K.  This is a good thing.  Talk to him."

She looked up into his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.  TK had never let her down.  He was her champion, her protector, guide and friend.  TK was everything.  

"Kristina, please talk to me."

At the sound of the voice on the other end of the line, she smiled.

"Hi, Dr. Lewis."

A lone tear fell from Cameron's eye at the sound of the small quiet voice on the phone.

"Are you okay, Kristina?"

"Yes sir.  I'm fine.  Are you okay?"

"I am now.  Would it be alright if I asked about your mother?"

"Yes sir.  She's fine.  We're all fine."

Cameron couldn't contain the smile on his face.  His world stopped the moment he heard the gentle voice of Alexis' daughter in his ear.  He searched for something to say, something to ask… anything to keep her on the phone.

"That's good news, Kristina.  I'm glad you decided to call.  You have a birthday coming up pretty soon, don't you?"

Kristina looked up in shock at TK.

"I do have a birthday coming.  How did you know my birthday?"

"Because I was there when you were born."

Kristina laughed, all of a sudden remembering her talk with her mother about Cameron.

"Oh yeah, I forgot.  Mom told me you saved my life.  Did I remember to thank you for saving my life in my letter?  I didn't really know what to write since I don't really know you, but I have to thank you because if you weren't there then I probably wouldn't be here and then where would my mom be.  So, I guess I have to thank you for saving both me and my mom since we couldn't live without each other now."

At the sound of laughter on the other end of the phone Kristina's heart stilled.  It was such a beautiful sound to her ears.  Deep and happy; like music that started vibrating at the bottom of your feet and rose up until it busted out into the air chasing every sadness into hiding.  It made her feel happy and warm and it chased all the butterflies in her tummy away.

"And just where did you get your ability to ramble, Kristina.  You wouldn't happen to be borrowing some of your mother's talents, would you?"

And at the sound of Kristina's laughter, Cameron felt his heart swell.  He remembered that sound, a sound so beautiful yet heard so little. Kristina inherited her mother's laugh.

"You sound like your mother when you laugh."

The gentleness in his voice was not wasted on Kristina when he talked of her mother.  His voice changed a little when he talked about her.  She wondered if his words would say something different than his voice.

"No one ever told me I laughed like my mom.  I'm glad you told me.  I want to be like my mom.  Outside of being a mom, she's the best person I know… even better than Alice.  Can I… can I ask you a question, Dr. Lewis? 

"Call me Cameron, Kristina and you can ask me anything you like."

She took a deep breath and forced the words out quick as she could just in case she lost her nerve.

"You still love my mother, don't you?

Cameron smiled.

"Now how did you know I still loved your mother, Kristina?"

"Your voice told me.  It sounds a lot like mom's did when she told me she loves you.  You know, all smoopy and lovey dovey like."

Cameron's laughter once again filled her ears and she joined him this time wondering if it would sound the same if it were her mom laughing with him.

"I don't think I've ever been described as smoopy and lovey dovey before, Kristina.  It doesn't sound very manly."

"Oh that doesn't matter as long as the love shows through."

Cameron wanted more.  Needed more.

"I know I probably shouldn't ask, but if you knew how things were between your mother and I when she left… then I think you might understand why I need to know a little more.  May I ask when your mother told you that she loved me?"

"Sure you can.  Let's see, I think it was about a year ago… maybe a little longer.  It was the last time I asked her about you and the picture she keeps beside her bed.  I remember she was crying when I came in to tell her supper was ready and it was that day that I asked her about you the last time.  I don't like to see my mom cry.  She doesn't deserve to have anything around her that makes her cry.  So I don't ask questions anymore.  It makes her sad.  I was asking her why she left you and she said that if you and her were meant to be together then it would happen some day.  But when I reminded her that you didn't know where we were, she just smiled and said 'that's okay, I know where he is.'  So see, you're just going to have to take my word for it for now."

A warm rush went through Cameron at Kristina's words.  For Alexis to say those words… he could hear the calm… the quiet assurance that filled them.  Alexis seemed to be a lot more grounded and more sure of herself than when she left Port Charles.  It was enough for now.

"So tell me about you, Kristina.  Tell me everything about your school, your home, Alice.  Fill me in on the last 12 years of your life."

Kristina laughed and unconsciously preened.  Cameron wanted to know about her too, not just her mother.

TK moved from the boulder to sit down in front of her so he could see Kristina's eyes.  Looking up he felt his whole body sigh in relief as he witnessed the sparkle in her eyes.  He did it.  He accomplished what he set out to do.  And that was to take away the sadness he brought into her life with his first news of Port Charles, her father and that one article that changed her life.  Kristina smiled with every part of her body as she talked to Cameron.  He sat there for the next half hour just watching her talk to his friend and knew where his heart was destined to reside.  One day soon, he would have to talk to Alexis.  He wasn't particularly looking forward to that talk, but he knew in his heart that he and Kristina belonged to each other.  They were a part of each other just as the aroma of a rose belonged specifically to a rose.  He wanted to spend the rest of his life taking care of her and loving her like a man was supposed to love a woman.  He would have to wait at least 4 years before he could talk to Alexis and until then he would keep his secret to himself and do the best he could to excel in college so he could provide a decent home for Kristina.  Four years.  She would be seventeen then and maybe she would have outgrown him… and yet… maybe not.  But, regardless, he would wait and hope that the friendship they enjoyed and depended on would mature for her just as it had for him.  Thomas Kale Redmond loved Kristina Davis and no matter how long it took, he would wait for her to return his love.  His attention was suddenly drawn back to her conversation.

"You can't do that, Cameron.  Can't I just call you on my birthday and you can tell me 'Happy Birthday' then?"

"Well, if that's the way you want it, then that's what I'll do.  I'll just wait for your call and wish you the best day in the whole world.  Someday maybe you will trust me enough to let me come visit you and your mom, but until then we'll just keep up with each other by phone.  How's that, Kristina?"

Kristina frowned a moment and reached out to hold on to the hand that TK offered. 

"Do you really understand why I can't tell you where we are yet, Cameron?  I just can't take a chance on hurting my mom.  Not until I'm really sure nothing can hurt her.  I have to protect her like she's protected me all my life.  Please say you understand, Cameron."

Cameron's heart dropped.  From the tone she used and the words that spilled from her, he was willing to bet that Kristina knew more of her mother's past life than Alexis was aware of.  But how?  Being secluded as she was, how could she know of her mother's past?  Something in the child's voice was warning him to proceed carefully.

"I understand, Kristina.  And I'm proud of you for wanting to protect your mother from anything you think may hurt her.  But just for arguments sake… what if you try to protect her from something she doesn't need to be protected from or perhaps doesn't want to be protected from.  Can you tell me just how much you know about your mom that she is unaware of you knowing?  Maybe I can help."

Kristina wasn't about to reveal what she knew of her mother's past to anyone.  Not even Cameron.  From the things she knew about Port Charles and some of its residents, her mom needed to be protected and the best way to protect someone was to keep their secrets and whatever secrets you happen to come by inside away from anyone who could use it against you.  

"Mom doesn't discuss her past with me.  She told me that when I got old enough she would answer whatever questions I still wanted answered.  I'm going to wait until mom says it's okay to ask."

Cameron gently pushed.

"But you don't really have to wait, do you Kristina?  That's why you're protecting her.  You already know the answer to a lot of your questions.  Are you okay with the answers you learned?  And are you sure you have the right answers?"

"I have what I need for now, Dr. Lewis.  The rest can wait until mom is ready to talk."

Cameron knew he went too far when Kristina reverted back to his titled name.  She was so much like her mother.  Afraid she would stop calling, he relented and tried to soothe her troubled heart.

"Kristina, I want you to remember something for me.  From the first day I met your mother, I tried my best to protect her from a lot of things that were hurting her.  I understand how much you want to protect her now.  Please know that I still want to protect her just as much as you do.  We always try to protect the people we love the most.  If you ever want to talk about the things you know or just need someone to lean on for a while when it gets too tough; you just call me.  We'll protect her together; you from your end and me from this end.  You're not alone, Kristina.  Remember I love you, too."

Kristina knew in her heart that she could trust Cameron, but her heart was a long way away from her head.  

"I'll try to remember, Cameron.  I wish…", she faltered.

"What do you wish, Kristina?  Tell me, little one."

Kristina gasped.  'Little one.'  How many times had she heard her mother call her by that nickname?  How many times had those words calmed her fears, chased away bad dreams or melted her anger?

"Where did you hear… how did you know… "

"Know what, Kristina… that your mother calls you 'little one'.  From the day you were born, she has called you her 'little one'.  And her voice goes all soft and full of love when she calls you that name.  No one who ever heard her call you 'little one' could ever doubt how much she loves you.  If more people had paid attention to how she spoke to you… she would not have felt the need to leave m… Port Charles.  Someday I hope to be able to apologize to her for not believing in her as I should have.  But, that is for another day.  Tell me what you wish, Kristina."

"I wish… I wish that you could come see us.  See how much mom did for me… she gave up her life just so I could have mine.  It's not fair, Cameron.  Mom shouldn't have had to give up anything for me… she should have just been able to add me to her life and keep on going.  But, I don't know how to make things right for her.  I don't know what to do to give her back a life that I'm not really sure she wants back.  I mean she ran away from it… and… and… I'm sorry, I promise I don't want to hurt your feelings… but Cameron she ran away from you too.  I just… I… I don't…"

"I know, Kristina.  You just don't want her to hurt anymore.  I wonder if she knows just how special her daughter is… just how lucky she is that you were born to her instead of some ole' yucky boy."

Kristina's frown faded as she giggled at Cameron's words.

"Yeah, she knows.  We both know how lucky we are and you're right all boys are yucky except one."

"One?  You know a boy that isn't yucky?"

"Yes sir.  He's been my best friend since before I can remember.  Tikki has always been right by me taking care of me and making sure I don't mess up too bad and fighting all the bully's that dared to give me a hard time."

"Then I'd say you have a great friend and one that I would love to meet someday.  I think I'd like very much to shake the hand of a boy that took extra special care of you."

Looking down at TK, Kristina smiled thinking how wonderful it would be if Cameron knew he had already met her best friend.  Seeing TK bring his wrist up and nod toward his watch, Kristina knew it was time to end the call.  Nodding her head she looked down at the sand under her feet and dug her toes down underneath its silkiness, sad that she had to let go of Cameron so soon.

"Cameron, Tikki is telling me it's time to hang up now."

Cameron felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach.  He didn't want to let go yet… he didn't want to lose her… didn't want to lose his only connection to Alexis.

"Will you call me again, Kristina?  Please?"

"Don't worry, Cameron.  I'll call you again.  And I'll take care of mom.  Maybe next time we'll have enough time for me to tell you some funny stories about mom and Alice.  You didn't know my mom was funny, did you?"

Cameron laughed with relief.

"Maybe I have a few stories of my own to tell that would make you laugh.  Your mom can be quite funny, even when she's not trying.  When will you call, Kristina?  If you can tell me, I'll make sure I'm home and no one will disturb us."

He needed something to hold on to… something to look forward to.

"Why don't I call you next week at the same time?  We won't be able to talk as long, but at least we can talk for a little while."

"That's fine, Kristina.  I'll sit on pins and needles until I hear the phone ring again.  How do you like that?"

"Sounds kind of painful.  Thank you for talking to me for so long, Cameron.  I feel a lot better now that I actually know you a little.  You sound very kind and… safe.  I think I know why mom still loves you after not seeing you for so long."

Cameron grinned and welcomed the surge of happiness that rushed through his veins.  Too long… it had been too long since anything had filled him with this much hope.

"You know something, Kristina?"

"What?"

"You made me really happy today.  Happier than I've been in a long time and I want to thank you for that.  I think when I lay down tonight I'm going to dream wonderful dreams about you and your mother.  Now you be sure to take care of yourself and always remember I'm only a phone call away if you need anything."

"I'll remember, Cameron.  And I promise to give mom an extra special secret hug for you tonight.  And don't you go doing anything that could get you in trouble.  I've got enough on my plate just worrying about mom."

Cameron laughed again at the adorably precocious child Alexis raised.  A child he wanted to meet again face to face… a child he wanted to wrap his arms around and hold onto… a child he wanted to unburden of the worry that held her captive… a child that belonged to the woman who still held his heart so firmly in the palm of her hand that even one so young could see it and believe in it.

"Talk to you soon, Kristina."

"Bye, Cameron."

Lowering the phone, Cameron slowly pressed the 'End Call' button and placed the phone against his chest.  He immediately felt the heat of the cell phone, where his hand held it tightly, transfer to his skin just above his heart.  The warmth of it seemed to travel throughout his body and once again like a million times before, his arms felt the ache of emptiness.  He needed her… he needed her in his arms.  "Alexis."  So softly, yet filled with a wealth of hope.  "Soon… Alexis.  Very soon.  We'll be together."  He suddenly chuckled releasing the thought that caused his amusement.  "That is if I can convince your daughter that I have nothing but good intentions where her mother is concerned."


	16. Chapter 16

****

**_Chapter 16_**

The morning chill was just lifting when Cameron pulled into his parking space exactly one week after the call from Kristina.  One week of smiles and seemingly unprovoked chuckles.  He couldn't remember the last time he felt so alive and hopeful… so eager to begin a new day.  Today was the day… and he knew exactly how he would spend it until the moment his cell phone rang.  He laughed at himself as he visualized the pacing, the endless trips for coffee, the countless times he would check to make sure the cell phone was on.  He jumped suddenly at the sound of someone knocking on his car window.  Looking up he grinned widely at the boy who stood patiently waiting for him to finish his musings.  Opening the door he stood quickly slapping the boy on the shoulder before shutting the door behind him.

"How's college life treating you, Thomas?  Ready to walk the halls with me?"

Thomas Kale, standing a head shorter than Cameron, looked up into eyes he didn't recognize.  These eyes were full of life; so much different than the last time he spent time with his mentor.

"You look like a guy who's found his long lost dog or something.  What gives?"

Cameron laughed again and lay his arm across Thomas's shoulders and turned them toward the entrance to the hospital.

"Let's just say that I've had a few prayers answered that started a dozen years ago.  I'm a happy man today, Thomas.  A happy man."

Thomas couldn't contain the smile that spread across his face.  If only his friend knew that his secret wasn't so much a secret after all; at least not to Thomas.   Lifting his arm he dropped it over Cameron's shoulder and as men often do, began to tease him.

"Have a girl I don't know about, boss?  That's the only reason I know that can put a goofy grin like that on a guys face."

Looking at Thomas, Cameron grinned wider.

"Is that the reason for that goofy grin on your face?  You don't fool me one minute.  Some girl has you pretty well wrapped around her finger."

Thomas laughed fully knowing that both of them were so tightly wrapped around a couple of Davis fingers that it would take an act of divine intervention to break the hold Alexis and Kristina had on both of them.  Dropping his arm, Thomas reached for the door and opened it allowing Cameron to lead the way into the hospital.

"So what are we up to today, boss?"

"It's going to be a very short day for me, Thomas.  I've got an incoming call that I have to be available for today, so I'll be leaving early."

"Sounds kind of important."

Cameron sobered at the thought of a little girl somewhere out there, worrying over doing something against her mother's wishes. 

"More important than I could ever explain to you, son."

After his call with Kristina, Cameron used the following days to consider and work out how he needed to handle the problem of Alexis's ignorance of her daughter's activities.  As much as he enjoyed the thought of getting to know Kristina and being able to talk to her, he knew that Alexis would be upset with both of them and expect him, as the grownup, to do the right thing.  He just wasn't sure how he was going to approach the subject with Kristina yet.  What he did know was that Kristina's sense of protection for her mother was a force to be reckoned with.

Thomas eyed Cameron curiously.  He could tell that there was something bothering Cameron now.  Though still prominent, his friend's smile was not quite as unhindered as before.

"What's the problem, boss?  You look like you've got something on your mind.  Anything I can help with?"

"Thanks, but no.  I think this one is going to have to be handled personally.  I don't relish the thought, but… it goes with the territory."

A small frown appeared on Thomas' face and he turned his head to keep Cameron from noticing his discomfort.  He wondered if Cameron was thinking about Kristina.  He began to worry about what Cameron would say or try to talk Kristina into when she called later.  He understood more than anyone Kristina's need to protect her mother.  He understood because he felt the same way about Kristina.  And he wasn't about to let Cameron do anything that would hurt either Kristina or Alexis.  As much as he knew Cameron loved Alexis and Kristina, there was just so much more that both of them were in the dark about where Kristina was concerned.  And it was all due to his reckless actions in giving too much information to Kristina in the beginning.  

Thomas looked back toward Cameron who was now studying a chart and wondered what he could do to help fix the problem that he finally figured out.  Cameron felt guilt over keeping anything regarding Kristina a secret from Alexis; just as he would if he were in Cameron's shoes.  Time and distance didn't change what a man knew of a woman.  Just as TK understood Kristina's need to keep her secrets, Cameron understood Alexis' need to remain informed of any detail regarding her daughter.  If a man's love and respect for a woman was what it should be then it held court over everything else in his life.  With that thought, Thomas made a decision.  Stepping closer to Cameron he drew his attention and pulled him away from the nurse's desk.

"Cameron, I need to talk to you about something."

"Sounds pretty serious, Thomas."

"It is.  What does your schedule look like for this morning?"

"Nothing much.  I was just going to check in with a couple of patients then head to Kelly's for lunch.  I don't really have anything planned after that until around 7 this evening.  You want to head over to the apartment and just have something delivered?"

"Yeah that sounds fine.  Why don't I let you take care of your two patients alone and I'll just meet you at the apartment around noon?"

"That's fine, Thomas."  Cameron turned to walk away then hesitated a moment before turning back and laying a hand on Thomas' shoulder.  "Are you okay, son?"

Thomas smiled thinly at the concern he saw on Cameron's face.  Never would he have guessed that anyone would come to mean as much to him as Cameron did.  The only thing he remembered of his own father was the glint of metal belt buckles flying through the air.  Cameron was more than a friend, more than a mentor.  For Thomas, Cameron was the father he always wanted.

"I'm okay.  I've just got a problem I need a little help with."

"Well, don't worry about it Thomas.   We'll sit down and talk it over and see if we can work it out."

"Thanks, Cameron.  See you around noon."

Thomas took off in the opposite direction from Cameron and reached for his cell phone.   He called his college roommate to let him know that he would be late getting back to the campus and to go ahead with his own plans.  There was no way to predict the outcome of the next few hours.  Glancing at his watch he knew it was too early on the island to call Kristina so he headed to the Port Charles library to catch up on the news he missed while he was away.

Sitting at a secluded table in the library an hour later, TK sat back and stared down at the most recent news of mob related activity on the docks.  'I wonder if Cameron knows this guy Sonny Corinthos', he thought.  The article he just read was further proof that he needed to do something.  And he knew that whatever he did would not be looked upon kindly by a certain young girl he knew and loved.  He sat there for an hour trying to decide how best to begin his conversation with Cameron.  Breathing a sigh of resolve, TK finally stood up and folding the newspaper returned it to its shelf before heading out to meet with Cameron.  The weight he carried across his shoulders was heavier than any other he had been called upon to carry so far in his young life.  So much could go wrong… Kristina might consider what he was about to do a betrayal… Alexis might forbid him to every see Kristina again… Cameron might sever their relationship… so many things to consider… so much to lose.  With every step TK took, the weight became heavier.  This was what being a man was all about.  It was responsibility… it was doing what was right even when it could cost you everything… it was loving someone so much that keeping them safe and happy was the most important thing in your life.  In order to keep Kristina safe… he needed answers… he needed to make his position clear to those that loved her most.  He needed to make sure that Cameron would not hurt Kristina or the mother that she adored.

When Cameron opened the door to welcome Thomas in, he stopped cold at the anguish on the boys face.

"Looks like you're carrying quite a load, son.  Come on in and sit down.  Lunch is on the table so why don't we eat first then we'll talk."

TK nodded his head and walked into the dining room taking a seat in the chair he normally sat in when he spent weekends with Cameron.  Pushing the plate away from him, he waited just long enough for Cameron to join him then reached into his back pocket to pull his wallet out.

"I'm not really hungry, Cameron.  I… I have something I want to show you.  It's… well… it's…" TK stopped and hung his head for a moment wondering.  How do you explain your love for a thirteen year-old girl.  It would sound perverse unless you knew the whole story… unless you knew Kristina.  TK looked up at Cameron and searched his face looking for some kind of reassurance.  Not finding any he glanced around the room and his eyes fell on a photo that hadn't been visible any of the previous times he stayed with Cameron.  It was a picture of Alexis with balloons surrounding her.  

"You have a new picture."

"Yes, I found that picture in an old law journal a few months ago.  I had it blown up and framed.  It's an old friend of mine that I care very much for.  That particular picture was taken at a fund raiser when she ran for public office quite a few years ago."

"A picture that old… she must really mean a lot to you."

"Yes… someday I hope to see her again… tell her just how much she does mean to me."

"So she doesn't live in Port Charles any longer."

It was a statement rather than a question.  Growing up with Alexis and Kristina, one understood that false statements and lies were not acceptable behavior.  And even so far away from them, the honor and principles they lived by could not be ignored.  Thomas was walking a tenuous line.  Knowing the two people that Cameron missed and didn't inform him of that monumental piece of information was a lie in itself; a lie of omission.  Just as harmful… just as detrimental.

"So you love her?"

"Haven't ever said those words out loud to anyone until last week.  But, yes I do love her.  I'm just waiting for her to finish the task she set for herself and allow me back into her life."

"Does loving her mean you would do everything in your power to protect her from anything that might cause her harm?"

Cameron studied Thomas' face for a moment wondering what the boy was fishing for.  Could he have a girl friend that was in trouble?

"Thomas, lay your cards on the table son.  Tell me what has you so troubled.  Let me try to help."

Somehow knowing that it was okay to trust Cameron… knowing that he would understand; Thomas pulled a photo from inside his wallet he placed it on the table.   As he pushed it slowly toward Cameron he watched his friends face.

Cameron reached for the photo and picked it up without looking at it, his eyes never leaving Thomas' face.

"This your girl, Thomas?  Is that the problem?  Is your girl in trouble?"

Thomas slowly shook his head then nodded once toward the picture trying to force Cameron's attention toward the face he cherished.

"She's too young for me right now.  But she does have my heart.  And I will do whatever I have to in order to protect her and keep her safe.  She's my life."

When Cameron finally looked down he froze.  Her hair was full of curls and her complexion was darker, but the eyes told him a story that his heart had waited an eternity for.   His eyes shot up to fall on the boy beside him as he whispered.

"_Kristina_?"

TK nodded slowly but remained quiet.

"Where did you get… your girl?… you know Kristina?", Cameron choked on the air that suddenly burst from his lungs and with a voice quiet and trembling with emotion;  "_Alexis… Thomas, you know Alexis_?"


	17. Chapter 17

****

**_Chapter 17_**   
  
Looking up into the eyes of a man he respected more than anyone he knew, Thomas cringed at the faint hope and subsequent look of betrayal he saw in Cameron. Hope for finally being so close to those he loved and betrayal for all the months of being so close and not knowing it. In that moment, Thomas wanted more than anything to give his friend what he needed. But what price would it extract from him… from them? What would happen to Kristina and Alexis once someone on the outside knew where they were? His eyes fell away from Cameron back to the table in front of him then asked the question that he knew would be offensive to Cameron.   
  
"Can I trust you, Cameron? Can I trust you to protect them just like I've tried to… just like Alexis herself has all these years?"   
  
Cameron was having a hard time containing his emotions. So many raging through him… from joy to anger, hope and fear. It was all hitting him at once and then to be questioned regarding his intentions. He stood quickly and strode around the room once in hopes of settling himself. The last thing he wanted was to give Thomas any reason to doubt him. Looking back at the boy, he could already see the first signs of mistrust… of fear for telling a secret that had been buried for years. Taking a deep breath he walked back to the table and sat down reaching out to settle his hand on Thomas' shoulder.   
  
"Thomas, everything you tell me will be held with the same trust and loyalty that you have provided them all these years. They are safe with me. Tell me, Thomas. Tell me about Alexis. Is she happy? Are they really safe? Does Alexis keep up with the news of Port Charles?"   
  
Thomas sat back and studied Cameron for a moment and then finally decided that telling him everything was the best thing to do for everybody. Too much was happening now that could hurt Kristina.   
  
"I don't know about how happy Alexis has been, but I never see her without a smile. Sometimes I envied Kristina for having such a close relationship with her mom. From the first memory I have, the two of them have been inseparable. K and I became best friends when we were real little. She was just a baby when they came to the island. Something kind of just clicked with me and I knew that she would always be inside me. And Alexis never raises a hand to do anything without first thinking about how it will affect K. She's always been like that. Used to drive me nuts. But, K never said much about it. It was just the way things were done and she accepted it. They have this thing they do every night. Just about the time the sun starts to set, they sit on the porch together and talk about their day or whatever is bothering them. They've never missed a day. Doesn't matter what's going on, everything stops long enough for them to have their time together. Would you like to see a picture of Alexis?"   
  
Cameron's breath stopped as he looked at Thomas. Alexis. A dozen years later. Would she look the same? With a voice small as a whisper, "May I?"   
  
Thomas reached back into his wallet and pulled another small photo from its depth. It was his favorite and was taken only a year ago. He handed it to Cameron with a wide smile.   
  
Eagerly taking the photo from Thomas, he felt the hunger inside grow in intensity; a hunger born of the need to have anything of Alexis close by. Looking down, his breath exploded from him. The years that separated him from Alexis were very evident when he looked in the mirror now. The lines in his face deeper, the graying hair and eyes that seemed to forget how to shine… every day that was taken from him miraculously seemed to have been given to her. She was young again… Her smile lit every corner of the photo and looking closer he could see her dancing eyes as she looked at Kristina who stood proudly beside her holding some type of trophy. He couldn't get enough of looking at her. She was more beautiful than the first day he met her. More beautiful than anything he could have imagined. This Alexis was one he was unfamiliar with. This Alexis was happy… full of life… full of motherhood and every pixel of the photo shouted at him that she was finally free to be the woman she always wanted to be. Alexis found her destiny and was living it to the fullest.   
  
Thomas watched Cameron's face go from eagerness to sadness and then into what looked like defeat.   
  
"What's the problem, boss? I thought you would be happy to see Alexis now."   
  
Without looking up, Cameron spoke what was in his heart. The grief inside so enormous that it prevented him from guarding his words.   
  
"She's changed. She doesn't need me in her life anymore. She never really did. All she needed was to get away from here… from everyone that kept pulling her down. Look at her Thomas… She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. This is not the woman who left here 12 years ago. I can't take that away from her. Look at that smile. I've never seen her smile like that before. I can't go to her; I can't take the chance. After seeing her like this, I never want to do anything that could take any of this away from her."   
  
Just as Cameron reached to hand the photo back to Thomas, his head jerked up at the sound of a loud crash. Thomas was standing over him with an angry fire racing across his face. The chair he was sitting in halfway across the room. He flinched at the words Thomas threw at him.   
  
"I've never known you to quit on anything or anyone since I've known you and if you think I'm going to let you bail on me now, you better look again boss. I need help and you are the only one who can help me now. And this self-pity kick you got going here just makes you look nasty. So buck up, boss. Get it together so we can figure out how we're going to keep K safe."   
  
The angry words hit him in the pit of his stomach but the meaning of them jolted him out of the hole he was falling into.   
  
"Safe? Why would you question Kristina's safety, Thomas? No one here knows where they are living now. What are you getting at?"   
  
"Haven't you seen today's paper? Granted it's not on the first page, but it's still there and with everything that has gone down in Port Charles over the last couple of years or so… Kristina and Alexis are not as safe as they used to be. Someone is either feeding information to the paper or somebody found the island and went there."   
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"   
  
A frustrated sigh exploded from Thomas as he looked around the apartment searching for the morning paper. Locating it on the coffee table he quickly retrieved it and opened it to the right page then thrust it under Cameron's nose.   
  
"I think someone's found them. And I can't take the chance to wait around to see who it is. I have to keep that guy away from the island."   
  
"What guy?"   
  
Everything in Cameron was telling him that Thomas knew a lot more than he was letting on. The boy's fear was filling the room.   
  
"Thomas, I think you need to sit down and tell me what's going on."   
  
"**_Look at the damn paper, Cameron. There's your answer_**."   
  
Finally looking down, Cameron saw a copy of the photo Thomas just shared with him staring up at him from the black and white page of the newspaper. The headline read: "_Former resident and renowned Attorney Alexis Davis at home with daughter Kristina_."   
  
Cameron looked further down to scan the article. One particular item caught his eye.   
  
'Local crime lord Sonny Corinthos was overheard to say, "_I hope she's gotten good at looking over her shoulder because I'm coming after my kid_".'   
  
"Does Alexis know what has been going on around here, Thomas?"   
  
"I don't think so, but…"   
  
Cameron looked up quickly, "But what?"   
  
"K knows."   
  
Cameron's jaw dropped in shock.   
  
"How the hell does Kristina know?"   
  
"I told her a few months ago."   
  
Cameron exploded unable to contain his anger.   
  
"You told her. Why in hell would you do something like that to a child, Thomas? Have you lost your mind?"   
  
The grief he gave himself over telling Kristina the things he did was a constant source of agitation with Thomas, but to hear Cameron come down on him about it was more than he could take.   
  
"**_DON'T START WITH ME, CAMERON. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE WITH K AND ME. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOVE SOMEBODY SO MUCH THAT YOU'LL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP THEM SAFE_**."   
  
Cameron interrupted with his own anger in full force…   
  
"**_I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOVE SOMEONE THAT MUCH, THOMAS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN SEARCHING FOR ALEXIS? I'VE SOLD THE CABIN, SOLD OFF EVERY STOCK I OWNED, EVERY PENNY I COULD GET MY HANDS ON I TURNED IT OVER TO A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO TRY AND FIND HER. DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT LOVING SOMEONE, THOMAS. I'VE BEEN AT IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE_**_."   
  
"**HAVEN'T LEARNED MUCH THOUGH HAVE YOU? IF SHE WANTED YOU TO FIND HER SHE WOULD HAVE PROVIDED YOU A CLUE OF SOME KIND. DID YOU EVER THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT SOMEONE COULD BE TAILING YOUR PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR? DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT EVERYTHING YOU WERE DOING COULD UNDO EVERYTHING ALEXIS WAS TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH? NO, YOU DIDN'T. ALL YOU SAW WAS WHAT YOU WANTED AND THE HELL WITH WHAT SHE WANTED. I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOUR KIND OF LOVE, DR. LEWIS. IT HAS ALL THE EARMARKS OF BEING TOO SELFISH FOR MY TASTE**_."   
  
With that Thomas turned and started for the door, his anger such that he couldn't focus on the reasons he needed Cameron's help. Just as he reached the door he felt a hand fall gently on his shoulder and turn him around. Glancing up he breathed a sigh of relief at the change in Cameron.   
  
"Thomas, you have every right to be angry with me. Everything you said holds merit and if I hadn't been so scared about what this could do to Kristina, I would not have blown up like that. When I let my emotions dictate my reactions, I tend to go overboard. I do love them both… so much that my life has been hell ever since Alexis left. And you're right, I didn't respect her wishes the way I should have. And if I've done anything that could bring harm to either of them… well I don't think I could live with myself. It seems I could learn a thing or two from you about how to love the Davis girls. Come on back and sit down. I think you need to start from the beginning and tell me everything."   
  
Thomas followed Cameron to the living room and sat down in the easy chair opposite him. His anger dissipating, he settled back to tell Cameron everything.   
  
"When Kristina got old enough she started asking questions about her dad and why they were living on an island; things like why they never had visitors or why her mom never dated…"   
  
"Alexis doesn't date?" Cameron asked incredulously.   
  
"Never had a date that I know of. Never seen a guy at all around her. You gotta remember, boss; the only guy I know she lets get anywhere near her is in a picture she keeps by her bed. You know the one I'm talking about. K told me about it."   
  
Feeling his chest swell within him, Cameron told Thomas to continue.   
  
"Well everything kind of got started about a year and a half ago, maybe more. K called me late one night and said she wanted to find you so her mom wouldn't cry anymore. You can only say 'no' to K for so long before she goes ballistic on you. And it's very rare that I say no to her at all. So when she came to me to help her find you she said that we couldn't do anything until we knew if there was anything really bad that happened to cause her mom to leave here. Even then she was real concerned about why her mom left Port Charles. So, when I started looking for colleges to attend I had my uncle bring me to New York to check out Columbia."   
  
"Because it was close to Port Charles and you could do a little research without anyone being the wiser…" Cameron interjected.   
  
"Exactly. I found quite a few articles about her mom and this guy named Sonny Corinthos. Like when she worked for him. So I made copies to take back to K. But, since they were so old, I figured it would probably be a good idea to check out what had been going on recently around here."   
  
"And with it being so terrible, you felt Kristina had a right to know."   
  
"Yeah. I wanted her to stop asking questions. She didn't need to keep pushing her mom. I didn't want her to get hurt or worse have to leave the island."   
  
Cameron stood up and began to pace.   
  
"You realize we have a major problem here, don't you Thomas?"   
  
"Yes, sir. I do. That's why I came to you. I told you; I need your help to fix this."   
  
"Thomas, I don't know that we can fix it. But, maybe we can soften the blow a little. Go get packed. We have to warn them. And don't give me that garbage about Alexis not wanting to be found. We don't have a choice anymore. And if I'm correct, we don't have a lot of time either."   
  
"Right, boss. But, we still have to be careful. I've never left Port Charles and headed directly to the island. There are a number of stops we have to make on the way."   
  
"It doesn't matter. Just get me to the island, Thomas. We'll figure everything else out when we get there."


	18. Chapter 18

****

**_Chapter 18_**

Alexis sat quietly on the beach close enough to the surf for it to flirt with her feet. A small content smile graced her face as she looked out toward the sea. The sun was just beginning to kiss the ocean where it met the horizon and all the shades of a rainbow brilliantly lit the sky. The sound of waves gently licking the sand in front of her was sweeter, more relaxing than any other music she enjoyed.   
  
As she sat there, Alexis let her mind wander over the past years. From the moment she left Greece, to her arrival in Port Charles and finally to her ultimate escape. She thought of the men that came and went and the one she left behind. She thought of her sister; once so beautiful… so full of life… so eager to enlighten… Kristina. Thinking of her sister, Alexis' smile widened.   
  
"It took reaching my lowest to finally understand some of the things you tried to tell me, Kristina. But, it was worth the journey… worth the hurt… the pain… it was worth it all. I'm happy… I'm loved… and I love. And I'm not afraid of the words anymore. My daughter, your namesake, taught me how to love. You would be so proud of her, Kristina. She is everything I could ever have wanted or imagined. I wish you were still here so you could see her. But, you already have seen her, haven't you? You've been watching over us all along. What do you think of my little girl? I was always so intimidated by the idea of children, but I wouldn't have traded this experience for anything in the world. And I don't regret leaving Port Charles. It was a move that helped us both. It protected my daughter and gave her the life I wanted her to have and it taught me how to relax and take life as it comes. Having a child as precocious as my little one… I had to learn fast so I could keep up with her. She's so smart, so clever and imaginative. She has been my life now for fourteen years; from the moment of her conception she changed my life."   
  
Alexis grew quiet and the contentment she felt deep within forced a slow tear down the side of her cheek. 'So this is what it feels like. Being happy and at peace all at the same time.' she thought to herself. 'If only…' And as the words crossed her mind, the face followed. The same face that not only haunted her dreams at night, but was now beginning to haunt her days.   
  
"Where are you, Cameron? Are you okay? Are you happy?"   
  
"I am now."   
  
Alexis froze as a voice she only heard in her dreams came drifting down to settle around her. Afraid to lose the sound… afraid that her mind was playing tricks on her… she called out to him.   
  
"Cameron?"   
  
"Turn around, Alexis. Look at me. Let me see your face."   
  
Her head fell forward slightly and she covered both of her ears with her hands in a desperate attempt to keep the sound of his voice from escaping. 'How can I hear him so clearly?' she thought. Lowering her hands she looked back up toward the horizon.   
  
"Don't you want to see me, Alexis? Don't you want to know how I found you?"   
  
She stood slowly and wiping the sand from the back of her slacks, she slowly turned toward the direction the voice was coming from. There… behind her, he stood without moving. She reached one hand out toward the vision and smiled. Laughter bubbled up within her at the craziness in her head and she decided to play along for a while.   
  
"Oh, so today I get to see you again without the beard. Okay, that works for me. So, what took you so long this time, Dr. Lewis? Since this is my dream then I get to dictate how it plays out, right?"   
  
The vision answered, "If you must."   
  
"Then I choose to be kissed. It's been too long since you kissed me. So come on, Dr. Lewis. Lay one on me like you did last night."   
  
Cameron took the final two steps what would place him within reach and he reached out slowly to pull her to him. He knew by the way she was reacting that she didn't really believe he was standing in front of her. Softly wrapping his hand around her upper arm he reached up with his other hand and ran it along the side of her cheek then back through the gold highlights dancing in her hair. His breath caught in his throat at the first touch of her. Just as he pulled her forward and bent toward her lips, he whispered, "I'm real, Alexis. I'm real and I'm here."   
  
As his lips found hers, Alexis finally understood that she wasn't dreaming… he wasn't a vision. Cameron was here… with her. Holding her… kissing her. Her arms that spent countless nights by her side aching to hold him rose slowly to touch him… to find their place around him. Her arms found their home and just as she opened her mouth to receive him, a sob rose in her throat and she pulled him as close to her as she could.   
  
Fire… white hot; consuming heat and leaping flames. Sparks that could not be contained… embers finally igniting… fueled by time and want and need… two souls destined to be one at last joined. The world fell away as knees found their way down to dig softly into the sand beneath them. Hands restless… wandering frantically, searching and finding all the places the curiosity of forbidden years encouraged within the imagination. Lips finding clefts to hide in momentarily… tongues eager to taste… and learn… fingers tingling with anticipation. And finally the coldness of contact lost…   
  
Alexis looked up into his beautiful eyes and smiled.   
  
"What took you so long, Cameron? How did you find me?"   
  
Pulling her down beside him, he wrapped his arms around her and answered.   
  
"I had help, Alexis. I've been looking for you since you left. When you decide to get lost, you don't play around."   
  
"I'm sorry, Cameron. I did what I had to in order to give my daughter what she needed."   
  
"I know and I understand."   
  
Cameron leaned slightly away from her and allowed his eyes to take in the woman who was finally sitting beside him.   
  
"How did you do it, Alexis?"   
  
"Well, I really can't go into the details because I still need…"   
  
"No. I'm not talking about how you disappeared. I'm talking about how you managed to become so much more beautiful than I remember."   
  
Cameron ran his hands through her hair and then down to her neck cradling her head.   
  
"One more, before I explain everything?"   
  
Watching the reflection of the fading sun dance in his eyes, Alexis knew what he wanted and without answering leaned forward and took possession of his bottom lip. She lightly bit him then allowed him to take control while sighing deeply at the fullness she felt deep inside. Everything was now in its place and as much contentment as she felt with her daughter it was magnified ten fold now that Cameron was with her. This was life… this was joy… this was what Alexis had yearned for all her life. Alexis was finally and completely satisfied.   
  
Reluctantly pulling away, Cameron settled Alexis in his arms beside him in a way that allowed him to watch her. He couldn't get enough of simply looking at her, watching her every move, her eyes sparkled in a way that enticed and flirted with him. He suddenly smiled.   
  
"What are you smiling at, Cameron?"   
  
"You. Stop flirting with me."   
  
"I'm not flirting with you. I wouldn't know how if I tried."   
  
"It seems you do know how. And what I would like to know is when you learned it and who has been on the receiving end of that look you're giving me right now."   
  
Alexis chuckled and leaned closer to kiss him again before pulling back with a mischievous grin on her face.   
  
"No one has been on the receiving end of anything for longer than I care to remember and if you didn't want me to learn how to flirt, then you should have stayed out of my dreams."   
  
Cameron felt another fire begin deep inside and wanted desperately to quench it, but knew there were other matters that needed to be attended to first. Quickly returning her kiss, he leaned back and fixed a studied expression on his face.   
  
"Okay, let's get the business out of the way first. They we'll play."   
  
"Play? You want to play, Cameron?"   
  
He laughed and pulled her into a tight hug.   
  
"Oh yeah. I want to play, Alexis. But, we can't right now. We have to talk first. Now be still, this is important."   
  
Alexis heard the timbre of his voice change and she frowned a bit.   
  
"This is serious, isn't it?"   
  
"Yes. It is. Very serious."   
  
"Tell me, Cameron."   
  
Before Cameron could begin a sound behind them brought them both to their feet.   
  
"I believe you're good doctor would like to inform you about what's been going on in Port Charles since you chose to run away in the middle of night quite a few years ago. But, I don't think that happens to be any of his business."   
  
As Alexis completed her turn to see who was behind them she caught sight of someone reaching for Cameron. He was pulled from her side violently and sent to his knees with a fist to the jaw a couple of steps away. Her steps toward him were halted as she heard the dead voice again.   
  
"Leave him alone, Alexis. If he behaves no harm will come to him. But, you and I have some unfinished business. And as I don't wish to remain out here in the open… why don't you invite me into your home?"   
  
As incensed as she was at the treatment Cameron was receiving, Alexis marveled at how calm she was now that she was once again face to face with Sonny Corinthos.


	19. Chapter 19

****

**_Chapter 19_**   
  
Silence followed the small group until they were standing in the middle of the living room. Alexis felt Cameron reach for her and she took his hand, squeezed it once and let go. This was something she knew she needed to do herself. It was enough that he was there and would still be with her after Sonny was gone. Focusing her attention on the father of her child, she quietly opened the door for a conversation that was 14 years overdue.   
  
"So how did you find me?"   
  
Sonny cut his eyes cruelly at her.   
  
"I've known where you were for a few years now."   
  
"How did you get past the security at the airport?"   
  
"I didn't arrive by plane."   
  
"Every port on this island is guarded, Sonny. How many people died in order for you to be standing here now?"   
  
Ignoring her question, he chuckled cynically.   
  
"You're guards aren't what they should be, Alexis. It was a bit too easy to get to you. What happened… get a little too complacent? A little too comfortable? That's not like you, Alexis."   
  
She refused to allow him to taunt her into a verbal battle of wills. It wasn't worth her time or effort.   
  
"Okay, so you found me. What do you want, Sonny?"   
  
"I want what's mine."   
  
Walking past him, Alexis moved toward the fireplace and sat down on its edge. No one could have known the quaking going on inside by the way she was handling herself. But, it was so very familiar to her. Although the years on the island had brought her a wealth of happiness… a time to raise her daughter in peace and quiet… that which she left behind was forever waiting just below the surface to rise up and take over if she allowed it. But she was strong now; she knew her strength and she could stand on her own once again. And there was Alice to stand with her… and now the knowledge that Cameron had never let go of her. She could face Sonny… strong and in control of her fears. She looked up and sadly recognized the look on his face. He was lost… he was fighting himself now more than ever before. But, there was something else she saw in his eyes now. Sonny was going down and he was reaching out for anything to grab on to in order to save himself. He wanted Kristina; the one person he thought would save him. For now, he need not know what she knew regarding Ned's disclosure of Kristina's parentage.   
  
"Not that there is anything on this island that remotely belongs to you, but just for the sake of curiosity. Whatever it is that you think is yours, why did it take you so long to come for it?"   
  
Cameron moved to stand beside her.   
  
"He's been pretty busy the last few years Alexis, and he doesn't want you to know what's been going on back home."   
  
Nodding toward his bodyguard Sonny growled. "Shut him up,"   
  
Alexis watched in horror as the bodyguard grabbed hold of Cameron and turned him around slamming his fist into his face hard enough to knock him out. She stood immediately and screamed at Sonny.   
  
"**_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, SONNY_**? You have no right to walk into my home and assault my guests. This is MY home; MY island and you are not welcome here. Now get out and take your… associate with you."   
  
Attempting to get to Cameron to see if he was okay, Alexis felt a grip of steel grab her around the arm and she was suddenly whipped around to face Sonny.   
  
"I have every right to be here, Alexis. And I'm not going anywhere until I have what's rightfully mine."   
  
"**_LET GO OF MY MOTHER_**."   
  
Alexis felt her heart leap into her throat as she and Sonny turned simultaneously toward the door to find Kristina there ready to launch herself into the fray to protect her mother. Understanding what would happen if Sonny didn't let go of her, Alexis reached up and covered Sonny's hand with her own to hide the evident strength of his grip. Looking toward him she saw the shock on his face at the sight of the small child who stood before him shooting daggers at him with her eyes. Turning back to Kristina she tried to introduce her child to the man standing beside her.   
  
"Kristina, honey. This is…"   
  
"I know who he is and if he doesn't let go of you right this minute then he'll wish he had."   
  
As she felt his grip loosen somewhat, Alexis pulled away enough to put some space between them. Her eyes never left her child and for the first time saw a rage in her daughter that she had never seen before. Her precious child was filled with dark rage and Alexis did not know why.   
  
"You know who he is, Kristina?"   
  
Before Kristina could answer, Sonny took a step closer and Alexis watched in concerned confusion as her child took a step away from him. In all the years on the island, Alexis never once saw her daughter retreat from anyone.   
  
"Kristina, I'm your father and I want to…"   
  
"Father? I don't think so."   
  
"It's true. And I think if you'll ask your mother…"   
  
She was slow to react to what Sonny was saying. She couldn't believe he could be so callous… so unfeeling. Jolting herself out of her shock she swung around to face Sonny enraged at his lack of compassion.   
  
"Are you insane? You can't tell a child…" Alexis stopped when she heard Kristina interrupt her.   
  
"I don't have to ask my mother who you are. I'm not stupid."   
  
Kristina looked from Sonny to her mother then to the other occupants in the room. When her eyes fell on the strange man face down on the floor her face grew darker and her eyes shifted back to Sonny.   
  
"Who's he? Somebody got in your way… so you took care of him, right?"   
  
For the first time in her young daughter's life, Alexis could hardly recognize her. There was a mass of confusion racing through her mind at Kristina's reaction to the stranger in their home. She heard the words, but the venom and subject of her words was so unlike her. From the words her daughter was speaking, Alexis could only surmise that Kristina was so angry with the way her mother was being treated that she was lashing out with abhorrence toward the man who seemed to be threatening them. As she took a step toward Kristina she was again stopped by Sonny's hand on her arm.   
  
Turning to him, she hissed. "If you keep laying your hands on me you are going to see the only real part of my daughter that I'm not too proud of; and that's the temper she inherited from her father. She is very protective, Sonny. Now get your hand off of me before I have a child come unglued and possibly hurt herself."   
  
"What did you do… turn her against me, Alexis? Is that how you dealt with **MY** child?"   
  
"Frankly no. I've never mentioned the name of her father to her. I didn't think she was ready to deal with a man of your caliber."   
  
Alexis turned back to her daughter while pulling herself out of the grip Sonny was trying to maintain on her arm. She stopped cold at Kristina's next words.   
  
"It's funny how you both keep talking about this man like he's supposed to mean something to me. Problem is I really don't think it's funny enough to laugh at. Father? Maybe. Or would the more proper word be… no wait… I think it's the bigger word." Her face became a study as she pondered which word would be descriptively best. "Bio… Biological. Yeah I think that's the right one"   
  
"Kristina, I don't think this is the right time to be questioning terminology."   
  
"Why not, Mom? I think it's a perfect time. I'm trying to figure out how to say something right and he's standing over there trying to figure out ways to hurt you and take me away from my home. Violence vs. education. Interesting concept don't you agree, Mr. Corinthos?"   
  
Alexis' jaw dropped as she heard her daughter correctly call Sonny by his name. Something was going on… her daughter knew Sonny Corinthos or was at least aware of who he was. Her thoughts stilled as she heard Sonny next to her.   
  
"So, just to make sure she wants nothing to do with me, you make damn sure she only hears the down side of my life. What gives you the right to decide what my daughter gets to know, Alexis?"   
  
Alexis whirled around to face Sonny to answer him then turned back toward her daughter as she heard the tone of her voice change again. Kristina was fighting… fighting for the life her mother loved her enough to give her so many years ago.   
  
"Back off my mother, Mr. Corinthos. And for your information I happen to agree with what my mother did to protect me. Would you like to know why I agree or do you just want to stand there and keep threatening all of us?"   
  
Sonny's voice lowered as he addressed his daughter.   
  
"I'm not threatening you, Kristina."   
  
"Oh yes you are; in the worst way possible. Just by standing in this house you are threatening all of us and if you'll wait a minute I'll show you why."   
  
Watching Kristina leave the room, Sonny turned back to Alexis advancing toward her menacingly suddenly stopping as Alice stepped between him and Alexis. He was so intent on Kristina that he hadn't noticed anyone else enter the room. He reached up to push her aside and found his arm being thrown back at him.   
  
"Not another step," Alice said in her most threatening tone.   
  
"Get out of my way. I want to talk to Alexis."   
  
"Not until Kristina is finished with what she's doing."   
  
"And just what do you know about any of this?"   
  
"Enough to know that what that child wants… what is best for her is what Alexis and I want and if you can't fall into line behind that then find the door."   
  
Alexis reached up and lay her hand on Alice' arm pulling her gently back.   
  
"Alice… please don't get him upset with you. I can't afford to lose you to one of his temper tantrums. And what do you know about what Kristina's up to?"   
  
"I don't know, but she does and that's good enough for me. She's a smart kid who knows right and wrong. And she knows how to figure out who to keep around her and who to send packing. So I'm just gonna wait until she proves why she hates this guy so much without ever seeing him before."   
  
"She's not old enough to know what's in her best interests yet, Alice."   
  
"That's where you're wrong, Alexis. You and I know what this guy is capable of, she's never met him and has already sized him up. You can see it in the way she looks at him."   
  
At that moment Kristina walked back in carrying a handful of newspaper clippings and stopped just as she reached Alexis. Pulling one from the top she shoved it at Sonny throwing the most hurtful words she could at him.   
  
"I don't want to end up dead like Michael and Morgan."   
  
Alexis gasped aloud and turned to Sonny while reaching for Kristina to pull her closer. The look on his face instantly confirmed Kristina's words. Kneeling down beside her, Alexis placed both hands on the sides of Kristina's head and forced her to look at her.   
  
"What have you been up to, Kristina? Honor bound, tell me what's going on."   
  
"You mean you lost control of your own daughter, Alexis?" Sonny sneered.   
  
Alexis shot Sonny a warning glance and just as she was about to turn back to Kristina felt the child move and back away from all of them. Rising to her feet she glanced at Alice then Cameron who was just beginning to come around and when she turned back around and found her daughter holding a small gun in her hand and it was pointing straight at Sonny.   
  
"KRISTINA. NO. Where did you get that?"   
  
Sonny visibly paled at the sight of his own flesh and blood holding a gun on him. At the look on his face, Kristina smiled the slightest bit. Now he knew.   
  
"Stop yelling, mom. It's not real. I just wanted Mr. Corinthos to know how it feels to be scared… like he scares everybody else around him. He doesn't care who he hurts or who gets killed around him. Not even his own kids. Look at the paper, mom. Look what he did to his own kids."   
  
Kristina waited until her mom pulled the paper from Sonny's hand and began to read it. She took a small step forward because she knew her mom would be upset about the article.   
  
Skimming over the article, Alexis felt her heart fill for two boys who lost their life one night in the middle of a mob war. It was a story of two innocent boys who were simply going to meet their father for a night out; meeting only fate in the end. Ironically in the warehouse that was rebuilt after her sister died. Michael, taking over the coffee business from his father… the older brother who stood tall in the eyes of the younger trying desperately to save them both and failed. And it was a story of a grief-stricken mother who took her own life at the loss of her two sons. A family obliterated through the arrogance of one man who refused to give up his obsession for power. Michael, Morgan and Carly Corinthos; gone leaving Sonny to go on alone… until he remembered his firstborn. Before her eyes could rise to meet Sonny's, she felt her daughter's hand hesitantly find her own. She looked down into sad eyes… eyes that begged her to understand and not be angry… a tiny voice afraid of hurting someone who meant the world to her.   
  
"I'm sorry, mom. All of this is my fault. He wouldn't be here if I had just listened to you. But, I wanted to know for myself who my father was outside of just being the other half of me. And every time I asked you… you couldn't tell me. I know that you were just trying to protect me, but I wanted to know what you were protecting me from, so I started asking around and looking things up in the computer at the library. Now I wish I didn't know."   
  
Kristina turned to Sonny throwing the little water pistol at him.   
  
"Did you hear me? I wish I didn't know who you are. But, that wouldn't be the truth. See, even with everything mom knows about you, she tried to keep me from knowing the truth… she did everything she could to protect me from being killed like my Aunt Kristina. But, we Davis girls don't like living with lies and I knew mom was having a hard time because she couldn't tell me the truth. She didn't want to hurt me. Can you say the same thing… '_daddy_'? What can you do for me that could ever be better than what my mother did when she moved us to live here on the island? My mom gave up her life for me. What did you give up? What did you do for Michael and Morgan to protect them from getting blown sky high like my Aunt Kristina? Go back to your bombs and guns, Mr. Corinthos, and leave us alone. I'm right where I want to be… with my mom and Alice. We don't need you around here messing up our lives. Go home… I don't belong to you and I never will!"   
  
Alexis knelt beside Kristina and put her arms around the child pulling her close to try and calm the anger and fear that was causing her to tremble uncontrollably. She was trying desperately to figure out how her 13 year old daughter could know so much about Sonny and his world, not to mention her Aunt Kristina. Her daughter's secrets were finally being heard.   
  
"Shhh, Kristina. Calm down, my little one. You're not going anywhere. I've told you since before you could walk that you and I would never be separated again and I meant it."   
  
"Make him leave, mom. I don't care who he is anymore. He doesn't belong here with us. What if he stays and brings all the bad people here and… and… what if he does something that makes you get killed… or Alice… or… or… or me…"   
  
"I won't let that happen, Kristina. Your mother and I will continue to keep you safe."   
  
Kristina's eyes slowly left the face of her mother and looked around to find the owner of a strangely familiar voice… the soft and comforting voice she had only heard once in her life. It was the face she looked at every time she went into her mother's bedroom; minus the beard of course.   
  
"Cameron?"   
  
Hearing her daughter call out to Cameron as if she knew him… Alexis again looked at her with shock then turned as she felt Cameron move to stand beside her.   
  
"Hi, Kristina."   
  
Alexis lost her balance as Kristina suddenly threw her arms around Cameron's neck.   
  
"You came. You really came, Cameron. I didn't know it was you. Your face is all clean now. You came. Look mom, Cameron came to help us. He came."   
  
Watching Cameron hold onto her daughter, she reached up to wipe the tears from her face; tears that weren't lost on the angry and sullen man that looked toward his bodyguard once more. He stopped the command as he heard the sound of his daughter's small voice.   
  
"Make him go away, Cameron. Don't let him hurt my mom anymore. Make him leave."   
  
As Alexis heard Cameron quietly answer her child she turned and approached Sonny.   
  
"I'm sorry for your loss, but if you have any decency left in you, use it and give my daughter what she needs most right now. Please leave our home. Once I've had a chance to calm her down… talk to her and find out how much she knows I'll call you. Get a room in town and leave your number with Alice. I'm asking you to just once think of someone other than yourself, Sonny. Go back to town. She will not listen to anything you may want to say to her in the state she's in right now. All you will accomplish is upsetting her more. I won't allow that. You'll have to kill me first."   
  
"That won't be necessary, Alexis."   
  
Alexis glanced at Alice who now stood beside her facing Sonny. The small movement of her hand drew her attention and she heaved a heavy sigh.   
  
"Not you too, Alice. When in the hell did I lose control of my own family? You know how I feel about…"   
  
Alice interrupted her. No one was going to threaten her family and get away with it.   
  
"He's not going to hurt her, Alexis. I'll kill him first."   
  
Sonny looked from the 9mm in Alice's hand back up at Alexis.   
  
"I'll go for now. But I will be back, Alexis. You are not going to keep my daughter away from me any longer. And you might want to get rid of all the little guns around the house. They're not very safe. I'm surprised that you would allow fire arms in your home."   
  
Alexis took a step closer to Sonny and leveled an intense glare at him.   
  
"It seems that my friend and my daughter are more willing to do what is necessary to protect us all than I was willing to do. But, that ends here and now. You are a threat to us, Sonny. You and the life that follows you around like a plague. I can see now that you won't be satisfied until every one who ever had a connection with you is dead and buried. I'm sad for you, Sonny. Because you will never know the happiness and peace that could have been yours if you had only let go of that insane need of yours to own the world… to have power over everyone and everything within your realm. What really tears at my heart is the life you must have forced on your sons all in the name of keeping them safe. How many times did you promise to keep them safe, Sonny? Now if you wouldn't mind… please leave our home."   
  
Alexis coldly watched Sonny and his associate walk to the door. He walked as though he were a dead man. Bent and shuffling… he looked back once when he reached the door. His eyes traveled around the room before falling on his daughter who clung to Cameron Lewis and then to Alexis standing tall and proud and free of him.   
  
"It's all your fault, Alexis. Everything was fine until you walked out on me. None of the past few years would have happened if you had kept your word. What was it you told me, Alexis? Friends forever? You did this and you'll pay for it just like your mother, your sister and your father paid for the mistakes they made. I'll be back and I'll be taking my daughter with me."   
  
Alexis took hold of Alice's arm as the woman moved toward Sonny.   
  
"No Alice, I'll take care of this."   
  
Alexis took the few final steps that brought her close enough to touch Sonny. Looking deep into his eyes in hopes of finding some small part of the man she fell in love with so long ago, she sighed with regret when she realized he was completely gone. The man standing before her, held no conscience, no heart… her friend of so long ago was finally and absolutely extinguished. She reached up and smoothed the lapel of his shirt then straightened his jacket for him. Her face was unreadable until she began to speak to him.   
  
"Sonny, now that I'm aware of you… of your intentions. Make no mistake… I will protect us from you and it no longer matters to me how I accomplish the feat. You see, on this island, what I say goes. You have no authority here. Don't underestimate me. I'm not the same woman who left Port Charles thirteen years ago. I understand what it means to love someone enough to do what's necessary to protect them. You haven't learned that lesson yet. Given all that you've lost, I wonder if you have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. What I do know is that neither my daughter, nor I will be sacrificed on the altar of your ignorance. Now if you'll do all of us the honor of leaving our home… you are not welcome here."   
  
She sadly watched him walk through the door. Any hope of Kristina ever having a father she could be proud of was now gone and it tore at Alexis' heart. So much potential in one man... so much wasted potential. She then turned back around to find Cameron still comforting her daughter. Uniquely wonderful, Cameron! They were still holding on to each other and Cameron was quietly talking to her, speaking soothing words that only she could hear. Alexis didn't realize there were tears cascading down her cheeks until Kristina looked up to find her. And then before the next breath left her body her arms were once again filled with her precious child and the world was again balanced. She looked up just as Cameron knelt down beside them and smiled when he wrapped his arms around them both. As low as her heart had been only moments before, that was as high as it was now looking into the eyes of the only man in her life who never gave up on her or walked away.   
  
"Will you stay?"   
  
"Always, Alexis. My life is with you… it always has been. You've always had my heart in the palm of your hand. What amazes me is that this little girl… this beautiful little girl did for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. She found me and made it possible for me to find you. I love you Alexis, and I will always have a very special place in my heart for your daughter. Because she gave me the one thing I have lived for… dreamed of for the past thirteen years. She gave me you."   
  
Between them they suddenly felt Kristina giggle and looked down to find her merry eyes looking up at both of them.   
  
"Are you guys going to get all mushy now? Because if you are, I'm going to find TK and tell him about everything that's happened."   
  
She looked at Alexis with mischief before looking back at Cameron.   
  
"She needs a lot of mushy, Cameron. So don't worry about me coming in and spoiling everything. I'll get lost for a while and when I come back I'll just go on to bed and see you in the morning. You are spending the night aren't you, Cameron?"   
  
Cameron and Alexis were laughing so hard they found it difficult to answer. Alexis kissed her daughter on the forehead and pulled her into tight hug.   
  
"Kristina, I love you more than there are words. But you also know that you and I are going to have to sit down and talk, little one. There are a lot of explanations you owe me, but first I want to thank you for bringing Cameron back to us… back to me. You knew I needed him. When did you grow up, my precious little girl?"   
  
Kristina grew quiet and faced her mother fully before answering.   
  
"I had to grow up quick, mom. I couldn't let you deal with 'him' on your own anymore. He's my father, it doesn't mean I have to like it. It's best that I know exactly who he is so that I can really understand why you had to protect me. I didn't like what I learned about him, but I'm glad I did. You've always told me that living with truth is much easier than living with lies. And it's true. We can be stronger now because we know the same things. And with Cameron here and knowing everything too… well nobody can hurt us now. But, I want you to promise me something, mom."   
  
Alexis looked up at Cameron and felt her heart warm at the encouraging smile he was giving her. Such a beautiful face… more beautiful than the first time she laid eyes on him.   
  
"What promise, Kristina?"   
  
"I want you to promise me that you will tell me how you could have loved a man like that. It doesn't make sense. Not when I know you love Cameron like you do."   
  
Pulling Kristina close she lay her child's head on her shoulder and tightened her arms around her.   
  
"Tomorrow, Kristina. Tomorrow I will tell you why and how I fell in love with your father. Now I think maybe I need to talk to Cameron for a while."   
  
"Talk, mom? Don't you mean 'kiss'?"   
  
Alexis laughed fully as she rose to her feet. Reaching down she placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders and turned her around. Blushing profusely she gently pushed her toward the door.   
  
"Go, Kristina. You're embarrassing your mother.' Then turning to find Alice, "Make sure she gets to TK safely, Alice. We still have to be very careful for now."   
  
Alice took hold of Kristina's hand nodding her understanding and started to lead her out the door, but Kristina wouldn't move until she had the answer she wanted.   
  
"But, what about Cameron. Is he going to stay?"   
  
Alexis looked back at Cameron and melted beneath the gaze of his eyes and without looking back toward her daughter answered without taking her eyes from him.   
  
"Yes, Kristina. Cameron is staying. He'll be here in the morning and every morning after that. Now go find TK… and Kristina… ask Gail if you can stay at her place tonight. Cameron and I need some time to… discuss things."   
  
As Kristina bolted out the door Cameron raised his arms and pulled Alexis close.   
  
"You do realize I have a lot of rearranging to do before I can move out here in the middle of nowhere?"   
  
"We'll work it out. Besides I figure I only have a few more years of island life before I can move back home. Once Kristina is in college, it won't be necessary to stay here."   
  
Remembering Thomas' declaration days before, Cameron leaned back and looked into Alexis' eyes.   
  
"Well, maybe I'll just submit a request for an extended sabbatical. We'll decide where to go from here at a later date. I have a feeling though that the decision will be taken from us before too much longer."   
  
"What do you mean, Cameron. Has Kristina told you something that I don't know?"   
  
"No, but Thomas has. He's in love with her, Alexis. He wants to spend the rest of his life taking care of her."   
  
Feeling the tension rise within her, he continued quickly.   
  
"He knows she's too young right now and he accepts that. His goal is to complete his college education and in about 4 years he'll approach you with his feelings. You have time to get used to the idea. Besides how do we know what Kristina will feel in four years? She may not be ready to settle down with Thomas."   
  
Alexis leaned forward and lay her head down on Cameron's shoulder knowing in her heart that she didn't have much time left with her daughter and she felt an ache settle deep inside.   
  
"She'll be ready, Cameron. Kristina may not be aware of it right now, but she loves TK and time will only deepen what she feels for him. TK has been by her side from the first moment he laid eyes on her. Much like someone was for me until I made it impossible for him to continue. Kristina will love Thomas Kale just like her mother loves Cameron Lewis. It's inevitable. You know, you and my little girl have an awful lot of explaining to do, but for now can we leave this and get on with what we're supposed to be doing?"   
  
Cameron grinned.   
  
"And just what are we supposed to be doing, Alexis?"   
  
She reached up and began to slowly unbutton his shirt looking up at him seductively.   
  
"Why getting reacquainted with my doctor, of course."   
  
Cameron reached up and caught her hands in his and looking around found the door he was looking for. Walking backward he led her out of the living room toward the hallway and looking into each room finally found the one he was looking for, knowing instantly it was hers at the sight of a single photo on the table beside the bed.   
  
Drawing her down to sit beside him on the bed, he reached over and picked up the photo. Looking down at it a moment he smiled then looked back at Alexis.   
  
"I don't think you'll be needing this anymore, Alexis. I'm here now… in the flesh… and I want you to do something for me that you've never done before in all the years I've known you."   
  
"And what is that, Cameron."   
  
"I want you to kiss me like you love me. Kiss me like you would a lover and then I want you to let me make love to you. I want to love you like I've dreamed of loving you since the first day I found out you weren't nuts. Love me, Alexis. Love me like you've never loved anyone before in your life."   
  
Alexis stood up and faced Cameron. Reaching out she placed her hands on each side of his face then placed a knee on each side of his hips straddling him gently pushing him back to lie beneath her. Leaning down she kissed him softly then placed her lips just above his heart before laying her head down where her lips still warmed him and whispered…   
  
"I came here to protect Kristina, but being here day after day alone… in the way that a woman feels alone deep inside when the one she loves is absent from her life; I learned so much about myself. Having Kristina, fighting for her the way I had to… it taught me that I can fight for the things I want… and win. I learned it was okay to love the way I've always wanted to love. It was okay to admit what I felt for you. As much as I wanted to call you… to tell you where I was… I couldn't until I knew for sure that Kristina would never suffer because of my past. In a way, loving her taught me how to love you. I've never loved anyone this much before so you're going to have to help me express a feeling that is unfamiliar to me." She looked up and met his eyes. "Can you, Cameron? Can you help me love you the way you want to be loved?   
  
A tide of love, lust and want ripped through him and he threw his arms around her turning quickly until she lay underneath him.   
  
"I never thought… never dreamed it could be this real. I'm having a hard time believing that I'm actually here… that you're here… in my arms. It's been so long since I was able to look into those beautiful eyes of yours and fall so deep I didn't care if I ever escaped. Make me believe it, Alexis. Kiss me."   
  
She gently pulled his head down to her and took possession of his lips. A gentle loving kiss that enticed and titillated. Separating her lips she searched for an entrance and felt his body relax into hers. Cameron was home and he knew it. Whatever the future held they would face it together. The two of them and one extremely precocious child who did what no one else could. She bridged a dozen years and brought together two people who were destined to be one… destined to love each other for an eternity. Wrapping herself around Cameron, Alexis opened her heart, life and body to all the things that had once been so elusive. She opened herself to receive everything Cameron offered… everything that she thought never to experience in her life. Alexis Davis breathed.


	20. Learning To Breathe Epilogue

****

**_Epilogue_**

****

**_Chapter 20_**

It was mid-morning and the sun was full of its glory without a cloud in the sky to dampen its warm rays. A slight breeze whispered through the trees and the fragrance of the ocean filled the air. There were many mornings in the past that could match the splendor of this morning. But, today was special… Kristina was home.   
  
"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing you sit here like this and it's been 5 years now."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"You know, still… content… settled."   
  
Alexis smiled looking toward the man who sat next to her slowly swinging them back and forth on the front porch of the little island cottage she purchased eighteen years ago.   
  
"In my wildest dreams I never would have imagined a time in my life where sitting peacefully without constantly running numerous scenarios through my head on how to get out of one fix or another would be a normal daily occurrence. This is my life now and I'm content with it. I'll never regret coming here with Kristina when she was a baby… it was the right thing to do. For her and for me."   
  
Cameron raised his arm and slid it behind her to pull her closer. He leaned over slightly and kissed her on the forehead.   
  
"Even though it kept us apart for so many years?"   
  
Reaching up she caught his hand and pulled his arm closer around her smiling wistfully as she gazed out over the ocean.   
  
"I missed you all those years, but I wasn't ready for you, Cameron. I needed the time away to finally understand and put everything in its place before I could open up to the idea of you. But, you already know all of this… why are you bringing it up again… today of all days?"   
  
"I've just been thinking, Alexis. I guess it's because of what today will mean to us… to you specifically. Are you ready, sweetheart?"   
  
Alexis shifted uncomfortably beside him leaning toward him to lay her head on his shoulder.   
  
"No, Cameron. I'm not ready. I don't want to do this… Do you know how much it hurts to even think about it?"   
  
"Yes. I know. But, she wouldn't have it any other way."   
  
Tears began to slowly slip down her cheeks as she raised her head to meet his eyes.   
  
"I thought she would ask you… why me? Why is she insisting that it be me?"   
  
"Don't you know, mom?"   
  
Cameron and Alexis both jumped at the sound of Kristina's voice in the doorway. Alexis leaned forward slightly a smile breaking across her face.   
  
"Good morning, my little one? How did you sleep?"   
  
Kristina grinned widely at the beloved endearment leaning down to place a quick kiss on her mother's cheek.   
  
"I slept fine, mom. There's nothing like coming home and snuggling down into a soft familiar bed that's carried you safely to sleep most of your life." Leaning over her mother, she quickly kissed Cameron on the cheek before standing back up. "Hi, dad. I've missed you."   
  
Not content with a little peck on the cheek, Cameron stood up and pulled her into a bear hug.   
  
"I've missed you too, bug. This place has been awful quiet without that motor mouth of yours around. And it's nice to see that smile on your mother's face once again. How was your trip?"   
  
Chuckling at Cameron's favorite nickname for her, Kristina slapped at him for teasing her then wrapped her arm around his waist. College life was proving to be Kristina's most enjoyable adventure thus far in her young life. Rather than follow TK to Columbia, Kristina chose to begin her study of law at Harvard, just as her mother did when she decided to become an attorney.   
  
"The trip was fine and I could certainly use a few days away from the books. Mom, we need to talk about a few case laws. I'm not too sure I agree with some of the precedents I've been reading on a certain issue."   
  
Alexis laughed and reached out to capture Kristina's hand squeezing it for a moment before letting go. Her heart swelled every time she looked at her daughter. As a child Kristina was beautiful, but as a young woman… she took on a radiance that astonished Alexis. Her daughter was happy, well adjusted… satisfied with her life. And she lived it to the fullest never questioning where she belonged, never doubting her identity or her right to live independent of past relations. The day she walked away from Sonny when he came to the island for her, Kristina began to emotionally separate him from her life as much as possible. She agreed to see him on occasion, but only at her discretion and never on the island. If Sonny Corinthos wanted to see his daughter, he had to fly to Greece where his life would not endanger her and where her Uncle Stephan was always close by to protect her if the need arose. It worked for a couple of years until suddenly one week after her 15th birthday, Kristina was summoned to Port Charles to receive her inheritance from her late father's estate. With her mother by her side, Kristina placed his will and all of the documents regarding his assets into the casket beside him whispering quietly. "I won't allow your life to hurt mine. Take your money and power with you. Maybe now you can find a little peace. I just wish you could have wanted to be with me more than you wanted your crazy life. But, why would you when you couldn't even care enough about my mom to be civil to her." As she turned away she looked up into her mother's brimming eyes. "What a wasted life…" From that moment on, Kristina put her father's memory away and began calling Cameron dad. Looking down at her mother now, Kristina motioned for her to move over then sat down beside her.   
  
"It's been a while since we've sat together in this swing. I miss our evening chats."   
  
Putting her arm around her daughter, Alexis pulled her close eyeing Cameron with a teasing grin.   
  
"So do I, sweetheart. Cameron tried to fill in as best he could, but it just wasn't the same. He just doesn't understand how to talk girl talk."   
  
Rolling his eyes, Cameron laughed.   
  
"Okay, I get the picture. I'll leave you two to your 'girl talk', I've got errands to run."   
  
Bending down Cameron kissed both women on the cheek then stood back up smiling widely.   
  
"It sure is good to have you home, bug. Your mom is not easy to live with when you're away."   
  
As soon as Cameron was outside the reach of their voices, Kristina turned to Alexis and frowned slightly.   
  
"Mom, you promised not to let my leaving for college keep you down. What's Cameron talking about? Is there something going on that I don't know about?"   
  
Alexis reached up and brushed the hair away from her daughter's eyes and smiled gently.   
  
"Do you know how much I love you, sweetheart?"   
  
"Yes, I do and you didn't answer my question."   
  
"I still come out here every night and spend an hour with you just like we always did. It makes me happy just to sit here and remember my baby girl."   
  
Turning toward her mother, Kristina reached for her hands as a cold chill ran down her spine.   
  
"Mom, what's wrong? Why are you doing this now? Are you sick or something?"   
  
Realizing that her words were scaring her daughter, Alexis raised their entwined hands to her heart and smiled.   
  
"There's nothing wrong, sweetheart. It is my right as the mother of the bride to reminisce on the day of my daughter's wedding."   
  
Kristina smiled gently and reached up with loving fingers to touch the side of her mother's face.   
  
"And that's fine, but when I walked out here you did not sound very happy. Why don't you want to do it, Mom?"   
  
"Kristina, it should be Cameron or your Uncle Stephan."   
  
"Why? Were they here every day of my life making it possible for me to be happy… were they here when I scraped my knee taking a tumble over a soccer ball… or heaven forbid received a bad grade. Was it their eyes I woke up to every morning and went to sleep with every night? You gave me the most precious gift of my life the day you moved us to this island. I will never forget the sacrifices you made for me or take them for granted. Mom, you have been by my side guiding, guarding or carrying me my whole life. You and I are a part of each other and I won't take a chance of losing this special connection we have. It's too much a part of who I am… it's too important to me. So when I asked you to walk with me down the aisle, I wasn't asking you to give me away. I'm asking you if you will walk with me into a new life. I'm not in to tradition, Mom. There is nothing traditional about our lives. My life began with you, eighteen years ago. I will not leave you sitting on a cold bench behind me while I stand with TK and recite the words that will tie me to him for the rest of my life. I'm taking you with me, mom."   
  
Barely able to speak from the weight of her emotions, Alexis choked back a sob and quietly began to try and separate herself from her daughter.   
  
"Kristina, my sweet angel. Thomas loves you with all his heart. His whole life has been geared toward keeping you safe and happy. Even though I love you all the more for what you've just said… when you stand with him this afternoon… when you promise to love and honor him… honey, you have to let me go. It won't be fair to him for you to stay so closely connected to me. It's time for you to let go of my hand and take his."   
  
"Can't I have both, Mom? I need you both. I need you… I will always need you… and TK understands that. Before I asked you to walk with me, I talked to TK about it. He loves you so much… not just because you're my mother… but, he will never forget how you stayed and cared for Gale when dad wanted to move back to Port Charles. You made it easier for her to die when you promised to watch over her son for her. TK was in bad shape for quite a while until you finally sat down and talked to him. He needed more than I could give him… he needed a mother and since his was gone… you gave him what he needed and he will always love you for that. There will be times in both my life and in Thomas's that we will need guidance… support… and there is no one on this earth we would rather look to for those things than you. Now do you understand why I am asking you to walk with me?   
  
With a heart so full she feared she couldn't contain it, Alexis pulled Kristina into a bone-crushing hug and held on for dear life.   
  
"How did it happen, Kristina? Of all the little girls in the world… how did I get so blessed for it to be you that was given to me? Do you know what you have meant to me all these years, my little one? Do you know how much happiness and joy you brought into my life? I cannot imagine a day without you anymore… you have been so much my heart for so long that all of the pain and sadness I lived with before you… it's only a vague shadow in my memories now."   
  
Leaning back, Alexis gazed into her daughter's eyes for a moment before reaching behind her and pulling out a velvet case.   
  
"It's time, Kristina."   
  
"Time for what, mom?"   
  
"For you to receive the stones of your heritage."   
  
Kristina gasped as Alexis lifted the top of the velvet case. A necklace that had been viewed on so many occasions… that her mother looked at with love… with sadness… with hope. She looked up at her mother's precious face.   
  
"Are you sure, mom? I mean… it's… it's the last thing grandmother touched before she died." Seeing the look of remembrance on her mother's face, Kristina reached up with both hands and closed her fingers around her mother's hands that gently held the necklace. When Alexis finally looked up, Kristina shook her head. "No, mom. Not yet. It is enough for me to know that you wanted to, but for now they belong with you. Hang on to them for a while longer. Keep them as long as you can… and when you can no longer pick them up and clasp them around your neck… that's when I'll take over the responsibility of caring for them. When it is my daughter's turn to receive the heritage, she will know of them what I know and she will love those who wore them before us… she will love them as I have… those who have worn these stones will be as alive to my children as they were to me. I'll keep Grandmother Kristin and Aunt Kristina as alive for my children as you kept them for me. I'll make sure they know that there is a love that transcends time and space. I'll teach them the same way you taught me. Walk with me, mom… don't let me step into a new life without you by my side."   
  
Openly crying now, Alexis very carefully separated the two strands then reached up and clasped one strand of the necklace around her daughter's neck. "For today, we will both wear our heritage. I will wear the strand momma placed in my hands years ago and you can wear the strand that belonged to my sister, your Aunt Kristina. And it would be my heart's desire to walk with you today."   
  
***************   
  
"Are you ready, little bit?"   
  
"TK, don't you think we're slightly passed the 'little bit' stage now?"   
  
"Not on your life… you've always been my little bit of sunshine and that will never change. Come out here and give your almost husband a whopper before we get this show on the road."   
  
Thomas Kale was standing just outside Kristina's bedroom door waiting for her to finish dressing. Hearing the door open he stepped back and whistled dramatically.   
  
"Boy, little bit. You look great."   
  
"Do you know how many rules you're breaking right now, TK? You're not supposed to see me until I get to the altar."   
  
"But, that's so conventional and we have never been conventional, K. Besides, Cameron and I have been busy today. We've upset everything you put together and now I'm going to give you the wedding of your life."   
  
Kristina looked up with shining eyes and tried desperately to put a look of irritation on her face… failing miserably. Thomas Kale had never let her down in all the years they shared together. It wasn't likely he could do it today… on their day.   
  
"Do you know how hard mom and I worked to put this wedding together, Thomas Kale? Are you actually trying to tell me that all that hard work was wasted?"   
  
TK smiled down at the only woman who had ever held his heart.   
  
"Not wasted, K… just rearranged. Now, come on. Your mom is waiting and if we're going to do this right, we have to get started now."   
  
"You certainly are being mysterious about all of this."   
  
"You'll see, K. We are going to remember every single moment of the next hour for the rest of our lives… and if we ever find that we need to be reminded of who we are together… we'll be able to look back at this moment and we'll know that long before we ever laid eyes on one another… you and I were meant to be together."   
  
"You keep talking like that Thomas Kale and we won't make the wedding on time."   
  
"Now now… remember our pact."   
  
Kristina leaned against the doorframe and stared at TK with curiosity and concern.   
  
"Are you really not sorry we waited until today before we… you know… did it?"   
  
Thomas chuckled at her inability to actually say the words.   
  
"Well… since it was my idea..."   
  
"I know. You've been pretty adamant about waiting much to my intense frustration at times. Why, TK?"   
  
"I guess it's okay to tell you now since it's time to take the next step. You see, I knew when I was 16 that I wanted you to someday be my wife. You were only 12, K. I had to keep things right in my head. I needed my best friend to be separate from what I felt as a man for as long as I could. What we've had through the years… it has been my resting place… I could always depend on having someone to talk to that would always be on my side no matter what… who cared about me enough to tell me the truth whenever I was getting out of line or something. I needed that just as much as you did. It may sound pretty lame, but all these years we've been together as best friends… the first moment I realized that there was more to how I felt about you… it was important for me to keep protecting the friendship. Not just for you, but for myself as well. I needed to keep the 'tikki' you depended on safe from the TK that wanted to know you intimately. I didn't want to cross a line that might hurt what we had together until you and I were both ready to take it to the next level. You've been mine from the first day I laid eyes on you, K. I took on the responsibility of taking care of you any way I could and I took that responsibility very seriously. I still need to protect you from the big bad world even if it means protecting you from me at times. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, K. Everything I've ever needed in my life… I found it all in you. The depth of what I feel for you sometimes scares me."   
  
It was becoming hard for Kristina to keep her hands from reaching for him… she wanted to touch him so much… but his words kept her in place. She would honor his request… she would honor their friendship… their bond… What he was asking of her meant a great deal to him and that was enough for her. So she teased him.   
  
"You know I've been ready to take our relationship to the next level for a while now, don't you?"   
  
"You made it pretty hard to ignore, K. It took everything I had on a couple of occasions to walk away from you. There's been many a cold shower waiting for me after leaving you."   
  
Leaning just the slightest bit toward him, Kristina whispered… "There won't be a cold shower available anywhere on this island, Thomas Kale once that ring is on my finger."   
  
Completing the distance between them, Thomas leaned down and kissed her cheek before whispering back… "I won't be the one needing one… but, you might given you're gonna be pretty hot from what I intend to do to you."   
  
Straightening back up, Thomas chuckled at the crimson blush on Kristina's cheeks. Taking her hand in his, he led her into the living room where Cameron and Alexis were waiting.   
  
The next hour of Kristina's life would forever be firmly etched in her memory. From the moment Thomas led her into the living room it was a fairy tale wedding. He placed her hand into her mother's then leaned down and kissed her cheek before stepping back and looking toward her mom who gently began to lead her outside. The sun was just beginning its final descent as she looked over at her mother finding tears slipping slowly down her cheeks.   
  
While Kristina was dressing, Cameron filled Alexis in on the changes he and Thomas made regarding the wedding, so rather than leading her daughter to the car for the trip to the church. Alexis lifted her arm and settled it around her daughter's waist and gently led her down to beach where a canopy stood erect over a bed of palm frons. There were dozens of white roses and purple hydrangeas surrounding the area and in the middle a white podium with the priest calmly awaiting the procession. Crystal globes shielded a mass of candles from the gentle breeze. Leading Kristina to stand before the minister, Alexis looked up to catch Kristina's eye then turned toward the west. Just as the sun laid to rest another day, Alexis reached for Thomas' hand and placed it in Kristina's holding them both within her own then looked up at the man who held her daughter's heart.   
  
"Thomas, the day that Kristina and I moved here we began a ritual that has become very special to the both of us. In the beginning it was more for me than it was for her, but as she began to get older… that changed. Every day of Kristina's life there was one hour that belonged to her and her alone. It was the sunset hour and it was set aside especially for her. In that time Kristina was able to settle whatever problems she faced during the day, to talk about the things that bothered her; to make peace with the activities of her day. Tonight I am handing over to you that gift. And it is a gift, Thomas. I'm asking you to continue the ritual and to make it as much your own as it is Kristina's. You will need this hour as much as she will in the years to come. And I want you to always remember that Cameron and I will always be there for you should you find you need anything."   
  
With a choked voice, Thomas answered her charge.   
  
"From this day on, I will give to Kristina and myself the gift you are passing on to me. And because I can think of no one who could ever come as close to being my mother as my own was… If you will allow me… I will now hold you as close as I did my own mother for the rest of my life.  You are just as much a part of me as she was and I will love you just the same."   
  
Leaning down he placed a kiss on Alexis' cheek tasting the salt of her tears and he felt her love for him in a way that he never had before and it reached that place inside that before now only his mother could have reached.   
  
Alexis reached up and lay her hand on Thomas' cheek and nodded before turning to Kristina.   
  
"You, my beautiful daughter… words fail me when I look at you. No mother could ever love a child as much as I have loved you. In all the things I've been able to teach you over the years, there has been so much more that you have taught me. I've learned that loving someone can be the sweetest most rewarding gift… I've learned that love is not a bargaining chip… But, I think the most astonishing thing I've learned with you is that life is easier when you give yourself a few extra moments during the day to simply breathe. You gave me what I've longed for all my life. You gave me peace, joy, laughter and when the time was right… you meddled so thoroughly in my life that you ended up returning Cameron to me. You will always be with me, Kristina whether we're together or not. From the moment you were conceived you became my most precious treasure.  You are and always will be a part of my heart.  Now, it's time for you to take the next step. Let go of my hand, Kristina and take Thomas'. Walk with him the rest of the way. And if you find yourself ever in need of a mother's love and care… I'll never be far away."   
  
Leaning forward Alexis kissed her daughter on the cheek then took her hands away from Thomas and Kristina's then immediately reached back for Cameron's strength to lean on.   
  
He quietly questioned her. "You okay?" Nodding vigorously, Alexis refused to think of her own emotions… of what was actually happening in front of her… There would be time later to deal with the ache she felt deep inside. Her arms suddenly felt heavy with the need to hold her daughter within her arms, but instead she reached for Cameron's arms. He would make the ache easier to bear.   
  
His arms enfolded her and she felt the tremors threatening to overtake her ease. Taking a deep breath she leaned into him and watched the rest of the ceremony with his arms around her holding her up and sustaining her as no one else could in that moment. Her beautiful baby girl… suddenly a bride… a woman… no longer a child. As the tears fell in rivers she reached over to capture the hand of a blubbering Alice, who had quietly stepped into the circle after completing her mission.   
  
The home Gale Redmond left for Thomas had been completely redecorated and would now serve as a 'get-a-way' for Kristina and Thomas. It was a wedding gift from Alexis and Alice. Alice spent the day readying it for the newlywed's first night as man and wife. It was the only thing she could think to do to keep herself occupied enough to stop the relentless tears she shed over the fact that the most treasured person in her life was getting married. Once the ceremony was over and her good-byes were said, Alice was going home; back to Russia for an extended period of time. There was only one thing that would bring her back and late the night before she sat down with Kristina and promised to come if ever Kristina wished for a nanny. With a heart breaking she reached out and pulled Kristina into a gruff hug then went to her room where she spent the rest of the night remembering the past years and the day a wee babe came into her life and changed it.   
  
"_You may now kiss the bride_…"   
  
The words jolted Alexis out of the fog of memories that were racing across her mind. She straightened and waited for Thomas to complete his favorite part of the service, then plastered a smile on her face as Kristina turned to face them.   
  
Reaching out for Thomas' hand she gazed with love at her mother.   
  
"Mom, I have a surprise for you. And I want to give it to you now, before Thomas and I leave."   
  
She looked up at Thomas and nodded once, knowing that he had taken care of making sure the gift was close by. She stepped closer to Alexis and waited for Thomas to retrieve the box that was gaily wrapped in foil boasting a host of ribbons and bows.   
  
"Kristina, today is not about the bride giving gifts. It's about your wedding, honey. This is your day."   
  
"And it's yours, mom. I'm not ready for my part of this particular gift yet… but I will be. I just want you to know that one way or another we're tied to each other and you can't get rid of me simply by marrying me off to this hunk standing next to me."   
  
Accepting the gift, Alexis watched Kristina look up at Thomas with total adoration on her face and rather than make a scene that would keep them from leaving as soon as possible, she reached down and pulled the top off the box and pushed the tissue aside gasping aloud at what lay within.   
  
Shoving the box at Cameron to hold for her, Alexis reached in and lifted out a plaque that read "Law Offices of Davis and Davis, Founded November 19, 2002." With tears again streaming down her face she suddenly looked up at Kristina in confusion.   
  
"2002? Kristina, that was the day you were born. I don't understand."   
  
"We began our partnership on that day, mom. I just had to grow up some to become an active participant. That plaque already has a home. Thomas and I used the funds that Uncle Stephan set aside for me to purchase an office building in downtown Port Charles. We're going home, Mom. All of us."   
  
Accepting the breath-stealing hug from her mother, Kristina looked into the eyes of another woman who had given up her life to keep her safe and happy. Gently extricating herself from her mother's arms she moved to stand in front of Alice and smiled.   
  
"All of us, Alice. You may not have a child to take care of anymore, but mom still needs you just as much as I do. You're not going anywhere, but back to Port Charles with the rest of us."   
  
Turning back to Thomas, Kristina reached for him and without taking her eyes from him addressed the small gathering.   
  
"Now, Thomas and I have a certain item to take care of that he has refused me for far too long… So, you guys have a wonderful evening and we'll see you tomorrow sometime or maybe the next day… or maybe the day after that…"   
  
Cameron laughed at the red tinge that hi-lighted Thomas' face. Wrapping his arm around Alexis then pulling Alice underneath his other arm he turned them all back toward the cottage.   
  
"We'll see you when we see you, bug. If you need anything just give us a shout and I'm sure your mom or Alice will be sitting on ready to cater to your every wish. Ooooffff. What'd you do that for, Alexis?"   
  
Alexis tried to hurry them away while hiding her own blush.   
  
"Hush, Cameron. You're embarrassing all of us."   
  
"It's not me. Talk to your daughter over there. She's the one leaving all the doors wide open."   
  
Slapping her hand over Cameron's mouth, Alexis pushed him harder toward the cottage shouting over her shoulder.   
  
"Night, Kristina… Thomas. Have a good… nice…" Alexis couldn't finish her thought muttering instead. "How in the hell does a mother wish her daughter a good night… ? Well at least they're married now. And just when did you turn into such a prude, Alexis Davis."   
  
Releasing Alice, Cameron leaned over and whispered into Alexis' ear. "I hope he's going to do the same thing I'm fixing to do to her mother."   
  
"CAMERON."   
  
"I hope he's going to prove to our daughter that he loves her just as much as I love her mother. Now come on and stop being such a mother bear. She's happy… she loves him and whether you know it or not… Thomas loved her enough to keep that part of their time together sacred until their wedding night."   
  
Alexis bolted from underneath his arm and turned around to face him with a look of shock on her face.   
  
"You mean to tell me that tonight is her first… that she and Thomas haven't before…"   
  
"You didn't know that, Alexis."   
  
"Why in the hell does my daughter always keep the most important things a secret until I find them out some time after the fact. And just how in the hell did you find out that little bit of news?"   
  
Cameron was openly laughing at Alexis, but calmed with the question she asked.   
  
"I felt it was my responsibility as the only real father figure in her life to make sure that she was being respected. I sat Thomas down one afternoon and laid the law down. Seems I didn't have to though. He had already decided on his own that he was not interested in consummating their relationship until they were man and wife. Said he respected her and their friendship too much to do anything to hurt it."   
  
Alexis grinned widely. "Have I ever told you how much I adore that boy?"   
  
"You've mentioned it. Now, can you take your mind off your daughter for a while and let me have your complete attention for the rest of the evening. I have a surprise for you."   
  
"You have a surprise for me?"   
  
Cameron watched Alice walk toward her car and waved goodbye to her before turning back to Alexis leading her into the cottage loving the sound of the gasp that left her body at what lay before her.   
  
Every candle in the house was lit and conveniently lighting the living room. The fire was lit and a bottle of champagne was cooling next to a spread of treats.   
  
"Cameron? Did you do all of this… no, you couldn't you were with me."   
  
"It was a big beautiful angel named Alice. She helped me. I want you all to myself tonight, Alexis. No Alice, no Thomas, and no Kristina. Tonight is just for you and I. Care to join me in a feast of the soul?"   
  
Wrapping her arms around his neck, Alexis looked up into the most beautiful beguiling set of eyes. This was her man. Her Cameron. Her heart, her life, her future…   
  
"Hey handsome, care to make love to a starving woman?"   
  
"I thought you'd never ask."   
  
And next door, lying next to a roaring fire a soft sweet heart stopping kiss ignited a familiar passionate fire between two souls that were destined to be one.  A hungry fire that would finally be quenched…


End file.
